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Female/Male Dictionary

27.09.2011 06:19 EDT
FLATULENCE: (flach-u-lens)
FEMALE: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
MALE: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

WANTS AND NEEDS: (wontz and nedz)
FEMALE: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
MALE: Food, sex and beer.

THINGY:: (thing-ee)
FEMALE: Any part under a car's hood.
MALE: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

GLASS CEILING: (glas see-ling)
FEMALE: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
MALE: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

VULNERABLE: (vul-ne-ra-bel)
FEMALE: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
MALE: Playing baseball without a cup.

COMMUNICATION: (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon)
FEMALE: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
MALE: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

BUTT: (but)
FEMALE: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
MALE: The organ of mooning (and farting).

COMMITMENT: (ko-mit-ment)
FEMALE: A desire to get married and raise a family.
MALE: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT: (en-ter-tayn-ment)
FEMALE: A good movie, concert, play or book.
MALE: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

MAKING LOVE: (may-king luv)
FEMALE: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
MALE: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

REMOTE CONTROL: (ri-moht kon-trohl)
FEMALE: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
MALE: A device for scanning through 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

TASTE: (tayst)
FEMALE: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
MALE: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

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