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memoirs.of.today's mobile blog | memoirs.of.today



29.09.2008 04:52 EDT
SEPTEMBER 28 2008:
A day of disappointments and distress.

I always look forward to the 28th because about 6 months ago I thought I had got a word from God about a "28th" re: a job;
but apart from Nurse Duhaney giving me $1000 in the morning at church, the day was almost completely a day of frustration.
Lobban called while I was in Port Maria to tell me of a half-day's work [a painting job, though I didn't hear him properly].
He called again to rush me and I left Port Maria as fast as I could, praising God that I would get some money towards that exorbitant water bill but when I reached home and even put money on my phone, I couldn't get Lobban.
I tried to get Bam but as usual he doesn't answer his phone, once I call from my phone. Why did he offer to help and ask me to call him then?
His hypocrisy has now outweighed the little kindness he and his wife showed me during my illness in February. He may have been a hypocrite all along.
I pray for him that God save him from any damnation on my part for who blesses me, may God bless them and vice versa.
I envy people who have true and permanent friends and it sad that I have found none during my entire lifetime except maybe for Jesus.

The only reason I called Bam was that God often helps me when Bam hides from me.
Looking for Lobban I eventually saw Mr. Hilton, who didn't seem as positive as he did Thursday about how fast time/store keeper jobs became available.
I took sleep to ease my nerves and fretting over the water bill, still praying over everything.
Turns out that Lobban had been sleeping too. He called - twice again - rushing me to meet him at Mr. Hilton's where the paint job was. I got there before him and two other guys were there long before us. He squeezed himself in but I got left out.
He called later saying he was coming to check me but didn't. I checked with Shoiann re: water bill. No one had paid anything yet. They wanted to discuss it first. She promised to call.
I felt as if I got at least a day's reprieve from fretting. I thanked God but shortly after Sharon my landlady appeared.
I am getting to recognize the divine mental message I get to warn of her visit.
Her daughter was supposedly legally taken by the child's father because she wasn't in school. She blames me for both, and also for her own rent problems, lack of food and return to walking and selling clothes.
I wanted to cry and did afterwards, alone on my steps, the second time I had cried unto God for the day, the first being a unique spiritual - not physical - soul-weeping as I had walked back from Mr. Hilton's.
She - Sharon - kept saying, "what if you don't get a job...", the same negativity as everyone.
I am determined - and even more now as I write this at 4:00am - to prove everyone wrong and get a job also move to a cheaper place, hopefully where I don't share water, although that may not be possible, but move anyway!
Am thinking this house - maybe Sharon - is the one cursed and not me. My second downfall began when I moved here.
Although death has surrounded me recently in my natural family and my spiritual one [Parish Church] am not praying death or harm for anyone, more for their salvation and their compassion for me, but I say to God, who searcheth hearts:
With all the people I have met, known or encountered since last year, who is not for me, is againts me; vengeance is the Lord's; let the chips fall where they may. I have tried to serve God. I have suffered. I need recompense!

Lobban tried to get me but signal was down. Said he saw Sharon cursing "and walking with her kids [???]" and was worried about me re her. My theme for this month has been: God-in-Charge. It continues to be. I pray God finds me a job. Today.
4 Comments:
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05.05.2011 16:22 EDT, freelover1dfcss
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05.05.2011 16:20 EDT, freelover1dfcss
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06.03.2010 09:53 EST, salliousprettysexy


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