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Amabhadi 1 to 10 - ayobaness24



Amabhadi 1 to 10
AMABHADI 1

Moja kanjani lova, I hope ube ne weekend egrand neyami ibigrand, ziyenzeka la e office awubuye phela elivini hawu!!!!….One thing that is worrying me I suspect that nginamabhadi manje….angikaze ngimudle kanje umfelokazi ngoMgqibelo ntambama!!!!!!!
Besikulo mngcwabo ka baba uDuma lo ebesisebenza naye owashayiswa ibhasi last week eSipingo bejabulela ukuwina kuka Msholozi, uyamazi ke nawe uDuma uhlezi nje ezidlele nje. Bekugcwele bonke abantu base msebenzini laphaya bebahle abantu, ungayibona I last born ka Duma yinhle leyangane kodwa nje ukuthi isencane but ngeke ngiyiyeke.
Besisemathuneni eRedhill, kuthe sekulungiselwa ukugqitshwa ngathi akube yimina ohlaba ihalavu lokuqala bese ngiyabaleka kuse early vele bengizijahele eMphithi bekune launch ya DJ Twitty kwaMadlula phela ukuze ngisheshe ngifike kusakhanya. Ngithe nje nginyenyela ngasemotweni sengidoja, ngezwa nje ‘hayi bo usuyindlela yini’ qagela obani? uSis Sbo, Nosipho, Malindi no Bertha umtswana lo owamgeja senibabili eroomini (ave uthithiza).
Ngavele ngabatshela iqiniso ukuthi sengiyahamba ngisayobhayiza eMaritzburg, ok please drop uSbo at her place ngoba thina sisahleli..kusho leli model c eluwuNosipho (ave engidina), ngivele ngibabaze ngisho kahle ngithi angeke ngikwazi ukuya eNtuzuma mina sekulate, ngingakaqedi nje abe eseshilo uNosipho nokuphapha, no silly uSis Sbo usehlala eMorning side it’s on the way vele, uvele ubuye umqondo ukuthi uSis Sbo usanda kushonelwa yindoda yakhe kudutshulwana eMpangeni and then wase wathuthela eMorning side ehlushwa abasemzini. Hayi asambe ke Boy (ave engenza ingane lo sisi), nami ngifuna ukufika kahle e ICC phela kuyagcwala uma kune Jouyous Celebration.
Sivumelane ke ukuthi ngizodlula ngimshiye, problem is ngiyamsaba losisi angazi nokuthi sizoxoxani endleleni phela udume ngokuthi wagqoba iRegional Manager , uyamazi ke mfethu uSis Sbo yooohhh!!! Muhle, ufit, mude, ugqoka kahle, unuka kamnandi…inkinga nje akangeneki kalula uyilenhlobo yesonto, kwimanje nje ujahe o Joyuous Celebration nxxx, awungitshele nje. Hayi sihambe ke, uthe nje engena emotweni imoto yavele yanuka kamnandi ngenye indlela, naye useshaywa amahloni phela uma ungena emotweni kuvele kunyuke isiketi amathanga avele obala ngilokhu ngithi jab kancane ithanga elibomvu tebhu liphuphuzela uboya , sihambe sixoxa umbhedo nje endleleni, nami ngicasulwa ukuthi ngihamba nento ehalisayo la emotweni kodwa engine sure ukuthi ngeke ngiyithole.
Ngizitshele ukuthi ngizothi ngifika eMaritzburg ngivele ngibhodlele kuNombu before nje size siye kwaMadlula vele kade ngamgcina. Sithe sisondela ngase Morning side inkulumo yase isingconywana, nami sengikhululekile. Avele abuze ukuthi ngijahe kakhulu yini ukuya eMphithi, ucela ukuthi ngimhambise e ICC ngoba kuthiwe ishow iqala ngo five, ngibuze ukuthi kunento afuna ukuyithatha yini endlini why singayi e ICC straight, ngiyasho ngenhliziyo ukuthi usedlala ngami manje losisi, avele athi no ngifuna ukushintsha into something comfortable bese ngikhanyisa nase ndlini. Sifike kwi complex yakhe, ehle ngisale ngipake kahle imoto ngizwe ngaye esengibiza, ngena ulinde endlini, hayi nami nginikele khona ngiwu mfana omncane. Ngihlale ke kosofa yinhle leyandawo bru, kuyasho ukuthi kesanda kushona indoda laphaya ikhona imali, abe eseshilo ememeza esekameleni ‘feel at home’ idrink ise frijini, ngivele ngimemeze nami: ngicela uzongivulela itv iyangihlula lenhlobo (ugabagaba lwe plasma) ngifuna ukuchecker iscore.
Hayi bru wami angikaze ngithuke kanje futhi ngiqhenyelwe at the same time, avele aqhamuke uSis Sbo ebhince ithawula mfethu amathanga wonke ehleli ngaphandle, wayivula itv wase ehleka ebona ukuthi ngithukile. Yini kwenzenjani boy, ebuza smiler, hawu kodwa Suister uyabona nje nawe ubuhle bendalo…sekuhambe umqondo kumina. Izinto zobhuti bakho lezi ngeke ulunge boy (angikholwanga ukuthi lawo mazwi aqhamuka ku Sis Sbo njengoba ewumuntu o straight empilweni) wabe eyongena ekamelweni.
Ngasukuma ngamlandela, ngithe ngingena ekamelweni ithawula liphansi bru wami unqunu nqu uyagcoba, waze wama kahle umuntu wesifazane, wavele wathukisa okwengane engibona…akabange esalicosha ithawula wavele waqhaqhazela nami ngazifundela kwezami ukuthi vele naye uyangifuna. Haybo Mzi, ngithe ngilinde ngalena (Hawu useqale nini ukungibiza ngegama lami) sizoba late kwi show!!!!! Ngavele ngaba nesibindi ongakaze usibone, ngavele ngambamba ngamphonsa embhedeni enqunu enjalo eloku eshaya engathi akafuni kanti uyafuna. Bru wami ngihlale ngithi ngikhotha uMam kuphela, that day ngathuka ulimi lwami seligudla isbumbu sika Sis Sbo esikhulu esishefiwe and esi clean.
Angikholwanga what was happening, I became in control mfethu uSis Sbo usethambe tobo tobo, (ngavele ngakhumbula I advert yakwa Cell C ethi ‘Tell someone’) yena wayelokhu eqhaqhazela ethi haybo,haybo. Ubuye kancane umqondo, ngimbuze ukuthi uhlala nobani lapha and akekho yini ozosiphazamisa, Cha akekho qhubbeekkka!!!!!!!!! Ngivele ngibone ukuthi ngendlela aqhaqhazela ngayo kade aygcina indoda, it’s been six months adutshulwa umyeni wakhe. Ngamumunca isibumbu ngamumuncisisa into angayazi, ngathi ngisuka ngaya emqaleni, nje ngimkisser ngently ngehla naye ngibe ngidlalisa ubontshisi ngomunwe…usemanzi te ukube kuya ngaye ngabe seliphakathi.
Ngathi ukumpanisha nge roma elide nami ngibe ngikhumula kancane, ngikhumula nje umqondo uyasho ukuthi we Ndoda awunawo nje ama condom uzokwenzenjani…fuck man uSis Sbo uziphethe kahle futhi nendoda yakhe yafa ngesibhamu…ngingayeka inhlikinhliki isiphambi kwami. Ngithe senginqunu nami, ngezwa esingiphuthaza ushafu efuna ukuwufaka enkomeni straight, nganqaba nawo mina ngifuna ukuwufaka emlomeni wakhe..wajampa..ngamxolela vele usemdala uSis Sbo indaba ye oral sex akayingeni. Ngendlela ayesemanzi ngayo, wayengasakwazi nokwenzani amehlo asemancuncu, ngikhumbule ukuthi umnyango awukhiyiwe, ngimshiye embhedeni ngejubane ngiyokhiya emnyango, ngibuye esalele kanjalo ebheke phezulu.
Ngivele ngiqunge ngimbuze while ngidlalisa ubhontshisi wakhe, ngimncela amabele: Suister unawo amacondom la endlini…asholo phansi athi cha and please call me Sbo ayi ndaba yo Sisi. Ngalincela kokugcina ibele, ngavele ngathi sbindi uyabulala sbindi uyaphilisa ngabe ngiwubusheka umthondo madoda, wagxuma wakhalisa kwengane encane, Hawe hawe!!! Angikholwanga ukuthi yimina lo odla uSbo osatshwa no hlonishwa kangaka, into engiyithande ngaye shame une ngquza emnandi ene grip ehlangene. Ngithe uma ngimfenda ngezwa ukuthi ngimuka naye, ngithandazela nje ukuthi ngingasheshi ngichame engaka chami yena, angibambe angithi ne ngize ngihluleke nokufenda.
Ngivele ngisuse izandla zakhe kumina khona ngizokwazi ukunyakaza, ngimvulise imilenze kuhle okwe ngane encane, avume naye, ngishaye kakhuluke lapho..awu Mzi, Mzi….ngibone ukuthi ngizosheshe ngichame angime kancane ngimphendule ngize ngemumva, sekuphele ukumsaba manje: phenduka Sbo phenduka, aphenduke kancane eshaywa amahloni, kodwa nomthondo umnandi kade agcina, waphenduka ngalibusheka wakhalisa okomdlwane…Eh, eh, Mzi, Mzi,….inkosi yavele yaba nami ngangashesha ukuchama bru.
Ngithe sengimudle kahle ngezwa ukuthi sengidelile, ngamphendula ngathi akalalela abheke phezulu khona sesizoqeda..waphenduka..ngalibusheka usejuluke umanzi umzimbha wonke ngendlela ayijabulele ngayo lento…nasemnyango sekuyahwalala phela sekuyashesha ukuhlwa. Ngibethele ngibethele, naye avele aqale phansi agqume khulu, ngivele ngibone ukuthi ngimkitaza kamnandi endaweni ethize usefuna ukuchama ngivele ngiqinise kuleyondawo…sabhebhana saze sachama kanye kanye.
After that avele alale ja embhedeni, ngiye e sitting room ngizizwa ukuthi cha ngikhona ngidle uSis Sbo…uma ngifika kusofa 4 missed calls and 2 please call me, qagela ubani uNombu nxxx, kwavele kwathi xhifi. Haybo usibonile isikhathi we Sbo, it’s ten to five usazo cover nje kwi Joyous? No angisayi lapho Mzi, angazi ke kuwena ukuthi usaya yini e Mphithi…kona bekuzoba mnandi eMphithi but no angisayi, singaqhubeka nje sizihlalele (vele kade ngangimbhebha uNombu futhi usuke ejahe ukudla imali yami nalabangani bakhe baseSobantu).
Mfethu uSbo wavele wanginika u 2 clip, wathi angiyothenga I six yami ya beer ngathuka esethi ngimphathele I four cousins umgxusha (kanti uyaphuza), saqhubeka sabhebhana sesi tipsy kwaze kwashaya o 2 ekuseni. Ngicabanga ukuzidlela yena for the next six months bru akahluphi u fit futhi u clean, unuka kamnandi, inkinga ke angazi ke sesizobhekana kanjani la emsebenzini, nanokuthi ke ngimudle skoen, hayi cha kodwa umnandi bo.
Manje bro leya mbiza wayitholaphi? Usekhona lobaba waseMaqongqo oyidayisayo? Letha mani!

Mzi…..


AMABHADI 2 - Impendulo

weMzi,
Mina nawe sizofa inkosi impela…nami ngidle umuntu ngaphandle kwecondom, yimi loya ngiyofuna ama-antibiotics ekuseni.
Nx nalamantombazane asekhemesti azongibhedela athi afuna i-prescription kadokotela, wake wakuzwaphi lokho? Nx.
Uyabona mpintshi yami angikukholwa uma uthi udle iSis Sbo, akekho phela ongathinta leyanhlwathi, khona ukungena kwakhe nje kwaba yimystery. Cha uyisikhokho, uyinja, mfana ukuba uNombu uyakwazi ngabe kade akushiya.
Lalela-ke, two days after receiving your email, I went to Mooi River sinoThule, kwaku-engager lomngani wakhe waseEstcourt uFelicity so she took me along (vele wayefuna ukushow off ngami kubangani bakhe, I didn’t mind) mfethu yilemicimbi oke ufise sengathi ubuhamba wedwa, Zinhle bo izingane eBruntville futhi ziyasonta.
Mfana kwakumnandi laphaya. Qagela ngafica bani khona, uyamkhumbula uMiss Cele lona owafika sesifunda umatric, lona owaye coacha amantombazane nabafana ibasketball. Uyakhumbula ukuthi wayefit kanjani? She has not changed mfana and I think it’s 9 years ago now. Uhamba nenye nje ingane, mhlawumbe ucousin wakhe noma icolleague yakhe angazi.
Ngimbone eseqonda ngqo kuthina, ngithuke nami ngoba uThule usehlahle amehlo.
“Sanibona. Waze wakhula bo!” esho engibabaza, ngishaywe amahloni amancane. Uyamazi-ke uThule neconsi, avele ahline nje.
“awuzwe uMiss,” ngisho ngamahloni. Mfana usemuhle loyamuntu, uyakhumbula sasiwashaya kanjani amakhwela ku-assembly uma eqhamuka. Kusenjalo-ke. Ngivele ngiqhanyele mfana ngizwe ukuthi one chance nje ngingamudla phela uMiss Cele.
“Hhayi bo, usangibiza ngoMiss namanje, igama lami nguPearl wena mfana,”
“Phela sisahlonipha thina, oh..uThule lona engihamba naye, intokazi engizwana nayo. Thule uMiss owayengifundisa icareer guidance lona (angisazi ukuthi wayefundisani nami, kodwa wangifundisa iSlam Dunk)” ngizama to allay fears phela, ngiyabona ukuthi isigcwele iMpofana (umfula wakhona eMooi lona).
“Oh, sawubona sis,” kusho uThule (akave enesikhwele!) cabanga phela uMaCele mdala kunami kabi, kodwa sengathi sesiyalingana. Eyi, Ndoda, isikhumba uchocolate…hhayi lona onamakinati…
“Nami ngiyajabula ukukwazi, Thule, isistudent sami lesi,” kusho uMaCele. Uyakhumbula ukuthi wayekubiza ngoShaquille O’Neal wena? ha ha ha ha.
Hhayi sivalelisane-ke nje sithi sisazobonana…eish wawumuhle lonamcimbi. Mfana Zinhle lezizingane ezingabazalwane, thina nawe nje siya esihogweni, ngiyakutshela.
Izulu laseMooi River livele lishintshe esikhaleni nje..athi uThule usefuna ukuhamba. Ngivume-ke mina ngizothini, ngibone nabanye sebehamba…Uma ngithi nanguya noPearl Cele nalosisi ahamba naye sebeyahamba nabo…I waved my hand and she waved back..ngasho nganxapha angitholanga necell number yakhe, ave eyinja kodwa uThule, ubengibheke ngeso lokhozi.
Singene ufreeway, sikhokhe kuTollgate ziye, uyazi ngivele ngibone ukuthi okwami okwezandla. Uma ngithi damn nopetrol awukho…sengize ngaba kufreeway. Athi uThule kunegarage lakwaBP kwi off ramp yaseNottingham Road, hhawu singene khona.
Uma ngithi nangu uPearl nabo basegarage…ngijabule kancane ngize ngisuze. Aphume uPearl kuleNavara abahamba ngayo aye esitolo (BP Express) Nginike uThule imali ngithi akasho bafake uR250 ngisayothenga i-Red Bull, avele athi uzongithengela yena, yazi mfethu ngavele ngamzonda umabhebeza lapho. Ngithule ngivume…ungimake ngempela manje.
Abuye kuqala uThule athi asambe…ngidumise imoto ngimbone kancane uPearl ephuma engibuka. Naye wabona nje ukuthi kubi laphaya. Angisacasukile kanje. uThule lutho akazwile, futhi useyabona nje ukuthi kukhona okwenzekayo la.
Ngizishayelele slowly nami ngicasukile, avele afake leCD kaKeisha White ethi “The weakness in me” ngizithulele nje. And broer, she made me some kind of unknowing fool! Ashaye urepeat ilokhu idlalile. Ngizishayele slowly. Nezulu seliyana manje athi why ngislow, ngithi mina angifune kufa…kusenjalo ngithi jab esibukweni ngemuva nansi iNavara ivule wonke amalambu iza ishoshela idlule ihoote, nami ngihoote, amoyizele kancane uThule. Uyasho nje ukuthi ngikubambe ...


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