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Amabhadi 1 to 10 - ayobaness24



Amabhadi 1 to 10
AMABHADI 1

Moja kanjani lova, I hope ube ne weekend egrand neyami ibigrand, ziyenzeka la e office awubuye phela elivini hawu!!!!….One thing that is worrying me I suspect that nginamabhadi manje….angikaze ngimudle kanje umfelokazi ngoMgqibelo ntambama!!!!!!!
Besikulo mngcwabo ka baba uDuma lo ebesisebenza naye owashayiswa ibhasi last week eSipingo bejabulela ukuwina kuka Msholozi, uyamazi ke nawe uDuma uhlezi nje ezidlele nje. Bekugcwele bonke abantu base msebenzini laphaya bebahle abantu, ungayibona I last born ka Duma yinhle leyangane kodwa nje ukuthi isencane but ngeke ngiyiyeke.
Besisemathuneni eRedhill, kuthe sekulungiselwa ukugqitshwa ngathi akube yimina ohlaba ihalavu lokuqala bese ngiyabaleka kuse early vele bengizijahele eMphithi bekune launch ya DJ Twitty kwaMadlula phela ukuze ngisheshe ngifike kusakhanya. Ngithe nje nginyenyela ngasemotweni sengidoja, ngezwa nje ‘hayi bo usuyindlela yini’ qagela obani? uSis Sbo, Nosipho, Malindi no Bertha umtswana lo owamgeja senibabili eroomini (ave uthithiza).
Ngavele ngabatshela iqiniso ukuthi sengiyahamba ngisayobhayiza eMaritzburg, ok please drop uSbo at her place ngoba thina sisahleli..kusho leli model c eluwuNosipho (ave engidina), ngivele ngibabaze ngisho kahle ngithi angeke ngikwazi ukuya eNtuzuma mina sekulate, ngingakaqedi nje abe eseshilo uNosipho nokuphapha, no silly uSis Sbo usehlala eMorning side it’s on the way vele, uvele ubuye umqondo ukuthi uSis Sbo usanda kushonelwa yindoda yakhe kudutshulwana eMpangeni and then wase wathuthela eMorning side ehlushwa abasemzini. Hayi asambe ke Boy (ave engenza ingane lo sisi), nami ngifuna ukufika kahle e ICC phela kuyagcwala uma kune Jouyous Celebration.
Sivumelane ke ukuthi ngizodlula ngimshiye, problem is ngiyamsaba losisi angazi nokuthi sizoxoxani endleleni phela udume ngokuthi wagqoba iRegional Manager , uyamazi ke mfethu uSis Sbo yooohhh!!! Muhle, ufit, mude, ugqoka kahle, unuka kamnandi…inkinga nje akangeneki kalula uyilenhlobo yesonto, kwimanje nje ujahe o Joyuous Celebration nxxx, awungitshele nje. Hayi sihambe ke, uthe nje engena emotweni imoto yavele yanuka kamnandi ngenye indlela, naye useshaywa amahloni phela uma ungena emotweni kuvele kunyuke isiketi amathanga avele obala ngilokhu ngithi jab kancane ithanga elibomvu tebhu liphuphuzela uboya , sihambe sixoxa umbhedo nje endleleni, nami ngicasulwa ukuthi ngihamba nento ehalisayo la emotweni kodwa engine sure ukuthi ngeke ngiyithole.
Ngizitshele ukuthi ngizothi ngifika eMaritzburg ngivele ngibhodlele kuNombu before nje size siye kwaMadlula vele kade ngamgcina. Sithe sisondela ngase Morning side inkulumo yase isingconywana, nami sengikhululekile. Avele abuze ukuthi ngijahe kakhulu yini ukuya eMphithi, ucela ukuthi ngimhambise e ICC ngoba kuthiwe ishow iqala ngo five, ngibuze ukuthi kunento afuna ukuyithatha yini endlini why singayi e ICC straight, ngiyasho ngenhliziyo ukuthi usedlala ngami manje losisi, avele athi no ngifuna ukushintsha into something comfortable bese ngikhanyisa nase ndlini. Sifike kwi complex yakhe, ehle ngisale ngipake kahle imoto ngizwe ngaye esengibiza, ngena ulinde endlini, hayi nami nginikele khona ngiwu mfana omncane. Ngihlale ke kosofa yinhle leyandawo bru, kuyasho ukuthi kesanda kushona indoda laphaya ikhona imali, abe eseshilo ememeza esekameleni ‘feel at home’ idrink ise frijini, ngivele ngimemeze nami: ngicela uzongivulela itv iyangihlula lenhlobo (ugabagaba lwe plasma) ngifuna ukuchecker iscore.
Hayi bru wami angikaze ngithuke kanje futhi ngiqhenyelwe at the same time, avele aqhamuke uSis Sbo ebhince ithawula mfethu amathanga wonke ehleli ngaphandle, wayivula itv wase ehleka ebona ukuthi ngithukile. Yini kwenzenjani boy, ebuza smiler, hawu kodwa Suister uyabona nje nawe ubuhle bendalo…sekuhambe umqondo kumina. Izinto zobhuti bakho lezi ngeke ulunge boy (angikholwanga ukuthi lawo mazwi aqhamuka ku Sis Sbo njengoba ewumuntu o straight empilweni) wabe eyongena ekamelweni.
Ngasukuma ngamlandela, ngithe ngingena ekamelweni ithawula liphansi bru wami unqunu nqu uyagcoba, waze wama kahle umuntu wesifazane, wavele wathukisa okwengane engibona…akabange esalicosha ithawula wavele waqhaqhazela nami ngazifundela kwezami ukuthi vele naye uyangifuna. Haybo Mzi, ngithe ngilinde ngalena (Hawu useqale nini ukungibiza ngegama lami) sizoba late kwi show!!!!! Ngavele ngaba nesibindi ongakaze usibone, ngavele ngambamba ngamphonsa embhedeni enqunu enjalo eloku eshaya engathi akafuni kanti uyafuna. Bru wami ngihlale ngithi ngikhotha uMam kuphela, that day ngathuka ulimi lwami seligudla isbumbu sika Sis Sbo esikhulu esishefiwe and esi clean.
Angikholwanga what was happening, I became in control mfethu uSis Sbo usethambe tobo tobo, (ngavele ngakhumbula I advert yakwa Cell C ethi ‘Tell someone’) yena wayelokhu eqhaqhazela ethi haybo,haybo. Ubuye kancane umqondo, ngimbuze ukuthi uhlala nobani lapha and akekho yini ozosiphazamisa, Cha akekho qhubbeekkka!!!!!!!!! Ngivele ngibone ukuthi ngendlela aqhaqhazela ngayo kade aygcina indoda, it’s been six months adutshulwa umyeni wakhe. Ngamumunca isibumbu ngamumuncisisa into angayazi, ngathi ngisuka ngaya emqaleni, nje ngimkisser ngently ngehla naye ngibe ngidlalisa ubontshisi ngomunwe…usemanzi te ukube kuya ngaye ngabe seliphakathi.
Ngathi ukumpanisha nge roma elide nami ngibe ngikhumula kancane, ngikhumula nje umqondo uyasho ukuthi we Ndoda awunawo nje ama condom uzokwenzenjani…fuck man uSis Sbo uziphethe kahle futhi nendoda yakhe yafa ngesibhamu…ngingayeka inhlikinhliki isiphambi kwami. Ngithe senginqunu nami, ngezwa esingiphuthaza ushafu efuna ukuwufaka enkomeni straight, nganqaba nawo mina ngifuna ukuwufaka emlomeni wakhe..wajampa..ngamxolela vele usemdala uSis Sbo indaba ye oral sex akayingeni. Ngendlela ayesemanzi ngayo, wayengasakwazi nokwenzani amehlo asemancuncu, ngikhumbule ukuthi umnyango awukhiyiwe, ngimshiye embhedeni ngejubane ngiyokhiya emnyango, ngibuye esalele kanjalo ebheke phezulu.
Ngivele ngiqunge ngimbuze while ngidlalisa ubhontshisi wakhe, ngimncela amabele: Suister unawo amacondom la endlini…asholo phansi athi cha and please call me Sbo ayi ndaba yo Sisi. Ngalincela kokugcina ibele, ngavele ngathi sbindi uyabulala sbindi uyaphilisa ngabe ngiwubusheka umthondo madoda, wagxuma wakhalisa kwengane encane, Hawe hawe!!! Angikholwanga ukuthi yimina lo odla uSbo osatshwa no hlonishwa kangaka, into engiyithande ngaye shame une ngquza emnandi ene grip ehlangene. Ngithe uma ngimfenda ngezwa ukuthi ngimuka naye, ngithandazela nje ukuthi ngingasheshi ngichame engaka chami yena, angibambe angithi ne ngize ngihluleke nokufenda.
Ngivele ngisuse izandla zakhe kumina khona ngizokwazi ukunyakaza, ngimvulise imilenze kuhle okwe ngane encane, avume naye, ngishaye kakhuluke lapho..awu Mzi, Mzi….ngibone ukuthi ngizosheshe ngichame angime kancane ngimphendule ngize ngemumva, sekuphele ukumsaba manje: phenduka Sbo phenduka, aphenduke kancane eshaywa amahloni, kodwa nomthondo umnandi kade agcina, waphenduka ngalibusheka wakhalisa okomdlwane…Eh, eh, Mzi, Mzi,….inkosi yavele yaba nami ngangashesha ukuchama bru.
Ngithe sengimudle kahle ngezwa ukuthi sengidelile, ngamphendula ngathi akalalela abheke phezulu khona sesizoqeda..waphenduka..ngalibusheka usejuluke umanzi umzimbha wonke ngendlela ayijabulele ngayo lento…nasemnyango sekuyahwalala phela sekuyashesha ukuhlwa. Ngibethele ngibethele, naye avele aqale phansi agqume khulu, ngivele ngibone ukuthi ngimkitaza kamnandi endaweni ethize usefuna ukuchama ngivele ngiqinise kuleyondawo…sabhebhana saze sachama kanye kanye.
After that avele alale ja embhedeni, ngiye e sitting room ngizizwa ukuthi cha ngikhona ngidle uSis Sbo…uma ngifika kusofa 4 missed calls and 2 please call me, qagela ubani uNombu nxxx, kwavele kwathi xhifi. Haybo usibonile isikhathi we Sbo, it’s ten to five usazo cover nje kwi Joyous? No angisayi lapho Mzi, angazi ke kuwena ukuthi usaya yini e Mphithi…kona bekuzoba mnandi eMphithi but no angisayi, singaqhubeka nje sizihlalele (vele kade ngangimbhebha uNombu futhi usuke ejahe ukudla imali yami nalabangani bakhe baseSobantu).
Mfethu uSbo wavele wanginika u 2 clip, wathi angiyothenga I six yami ya beer ngathuka esethi ngimphathele I four cousins umgxusha (kanti uyaphuza), saqhubeka sabhebhana sesi tipsy kwaze kwashaya o 2 ekuseni. Ngicabanga ukuzidlela yena for the next six months bru akahluphi u fit futhi u clean, unuka kamnandi, inkinga ke angazi ke sesizobhekana kanjani la emsebenzini, nanokuthi ke ngimudle skoen, hayi cha kodwa umnandi bo.
Manje bro leya mbiza wayitholaphi? Usekhona lobaba waseMaqongqo oyidayisayo? Letha mani!

Mzi…..


AMABHADI 2 - Impendulo

weMzi,
Mina nawe sizofa inkosi impela…nami ngidle umuntu ngaphandle kwecondom, yimi loya ngiyofuna ama-antibiotics ekuseni.
Nx nalamantombazane asekhemesti azongibhedela athi afuna i-prescription kadokotela, wake wakuzwaphi lokho? Nx.
Uyabona mpintshi yami angikukholwa uma uthi udle iSis Sbo, akekho phela ongathinta leyanhlwathi, khona ukungena kwakhe nje kwaba yimystery. Cha uyisikhokho, uyinja, mfana ukuba uNombu uyakwazi ngabe kade akushiya.
Lalela-ke, two days after receiving your email, I went to Mooi River sinoThule, kwaku-engager lomngani wakhe waseEstcourt uFelicity so she took me along (vele wayefuna ukushow off ngami kubangani bakhe, I didn’t mind) mfethu yilemicimbi oke ufise sengathi ubuhamba wedwa, Zinhle bo izingane eBruntville futhi ziyasonta.
Mfana kwakumnandi laphaya. Qagela ngafica bani khona, uyamkhumbula uMiss Cele lona owafika sesifunda umatric, lona owaye coacha amantombazane nabafana ibasketball. Uyakhumbula ukuthi wayefit kanjani? She has not changed mfana and I think it’s 9 years ago now. Uhamba nenye nje ingane, mhlawumbe ucousin wakhe noma icolleague yakhe angazi.
Ngimbone eseqonda ngqo kuthina, ngithuke nami ngoba uThule usehlahle amehlo.
“Sanibona. Waze wakhula bo!” esho engibabaza, ngishaywe amahloni amancane. Uyamazi-ke uThule neconsi, avele ahline nje.
“awuzwe uMiss,” ngisho ngamahloni. Mfana usemuhle loyamuntu, uyakhumbula sasiwashaya kanjani amakhwela ku-assembly uma eqhamuka. Kusenjalo-ke. Ngivele ngiqhanyele mfana ngizwe ukuthi one chance nje ngingamudla phela uMiss Cele.
“Hhayi bo, usangibiza ngoMiss namanje, igama lami nguPearl wena mfana,”
“Phela sisahlonipha thina, oh..uThule lona engihamba naye, intokazi engizwana nayo. Thule uMiss owayengifundisa icareer guidance lona (angisazi ukuthi wayefundisani nami, kodwa wangifundisa iSlam Dunk)” ngizama to allay fears phela, ngiyabona ukuthi isigcwele iMpofana (umfula wakhona eMooi lona).
“Oh, sawubona sis,” kusho uThule (akave enesikhwele!) cabanga phela uMaCele mdala kunami kabi, kodwa sengathi sesiyalingana. Eyi, Ndoda, isikhumba uchocolate…hhayi lona onamakinati…
“Nami ngiyajabula ukukwazi, Thule, isistudent sami lesi,” kusho uMaCele. Uyakhumbula ukuthi wayekubiza ngoShaquille O’Neal wena? ha ha ha ha.
Hhayi sivalelisane-ke nje sithi sisazobonana…eish wawumuhle lonamcimbi. Mfana Zinhle lezizingane ezingabazalwane, thina nawe nje siya esihogweni, ngiyakutshela.
Izulu laseMooi River livele lishintshe esikhaleni nje..athi uThule usefuna ukuhamba. Ngivume-ke mina ngizothini, ngibone nabanye sebehamba…Uma ngithi nanguya noPearl Cele nalosisi ahamba naye sebeyahamba nabo…I waved my hand and she waved back..ngasho nganxapha angitholanga necell number yakhe, ave eyinja kodwa uThule, ubengibheke ngeso lokhozi.
Singene ufreeway, sikhokhe kuTollgate ziye, uyazi ngivele ngibone ukuthi okwami okwezandla. Uma ngithi damn nopetrol awukho…sengize ngaba kufreeway. Athi uThule kunegarage lakwaBP kwi off ramp yaseNottingham Road, hhawu singene khona.
Uma ngithi nangu uPearl nabo basegarage…ngijabule kancane ngize ngisuze. Aphume uPearl kuleNavara abahamba ngayo aye esitolo (BP Express) Nginike uThule imali ngithi akasho bafake uR250 ngisayothenga i-Red Bull, avele athi uzongithengela yena, yazi mfethu ngavele ngamzonda umabhebeza lapho. Ngithule ngivume…ungimake ngempela manje.
Abuye kuqala uThule athi asambe…ngidumise imoto ngimbone kancane uPearl ephuma engibuka. Naye wabona nje ukuthi kubi laphaya. Angisacasukile kanje. uThule lutho akazwile, futhi useyabona nje ukuthi kukhona okwenzekayo la.
Ngizishayelele slowly nami ngicasukile, avele afake leCD kaKeisha White ethi “The weakness in me” ngizithulele nje. And broer, she made me some kind of unknowing fool! Ashaye urepeat ilokhu idlalile. Ngizishayele slowly. Nezulu seliyana manje athi why ngislow, ngithi mina angifune kufa…kusenjalo ngithi jab esibukweni ngemuva nansi iNavara ivule wonke amalambu iza ishoshela idlule ihoote, nami ngihoote, amoyizele kancane uThule. Uyasho nje ukuthi ngikubambe ngqi mfana wami. Isithele i-Navara phambi kwethu, cha uyayinyathela uPearl. Ngibone nje ukuthi unelisekile uThule.
Sihambe sizithulele nje. Inkungi isinjani nawe uyazi-ke ngalapha koCurry’s Post kuya eHowick, kuyafiwa. Ngishaye iRed Bull bese ngibuyela uslow lane ngizilandelele itruck ehamba ngo 60km/h. Ngeke vele angishushe uThule uyisaba kabi imoto egijimayo.
Mfana sithe nje sithi ngaseHilton sesehlela eTown Hill, mfana iNavara isinqume kabili emgwaqeni, ivele yangena ngemuva kweSuzu ethwele izimbuzi. Nami ngibhuleke just 30 metres down and reverse ngishaya amahazard. Kanti akukho lutho olutheni, kodwa uthukile uPearl kuhlephuke isibuko nefender. Useyaqhaqhazela akasakwazi kokukhuluma ukwethuka. uThule ngibone naye ukuthi ukhathazekile, kodwa ngeke ehle ngoba uyayesaba imvula. Ngehle mina ngibabheke, bathukile. Indiya leli lezimbuzi liyathetha, ngilithulise ngibuze laba ukythi bagrand, bathi cha. Kufike namaphoyisa enze izinto zawo ngilokhu ngimbambatha uPearl lona who is sobbing, angibambe angiqinise naye.
“I was so afraid I was gonna die,” esho ngesibibithwane…nami ngimduduze, ngimbambe. Akaboni vele uThule usithwe yilezizmonto esezipake emva kwakhe. Athi akasakwazi ukudriver futhi nalaba abakwazi ukushayela ucela ngimdrivele, ngivumele phezulu, inkinga uThule! She might as well go to hell, I’m with Pearl now.
Ngiqunge isibindi ngizijube ngiye kuThule. Ngingabe ngisangena nasemotweni ngivele ngefasitela alivule.
“Sweety, please I will explain later, can you please drive home, I need to help here. Angeke esakwazi ukudriver loyamuntu,”
“Hhayi-bo ingathi wena uthe ujahe eThekwini manje ebusuku usuzohamba nini? Akekho yini okwazi ukushayela kubona?” kubhoka uThule.
“I need to help baby, it could be us one day,” limshaye lelo avume ajampele esteeringini.
“Please ungalibali lana,” anyuse iwindi ahambe. Ngihleke kancane ngimthandazele ngenhliziyo ukuthi aphephe. Ngibuye uPearl eseqedile namaphoyisa naleliNdiya lezimbuzi.
Ngingene esteeringing. Ngireve, cha iyavuma. Ahlale ngemuva uPearl breathing high. Ngiyishaye. Sihambe athi ubefuna ukudlula eMall kodwa ngeke esakwazi. Athi ucela sibeke losis omunye eflathini lakhe kuCollege Road bese ngimhambisa kwakhe naye uzongibizela itekisi to take me eMbali. Ngivume.
Uyazi ukuthi uhlala, uyalibona leliflethi elide elingaseSasol e-YMCA, leli elalihlala uSteve Lekoelea esadlalela i-Maritzburg United. Ngifake imoto kuparking bay athi angifunin yini ukungena endlini. Ngavele ngacabanga wena soSis Sbo. But I needed to be calculative here. Ngathi mina kungcono ngiyolanda imoto yami ngoba ngijahe ukuya eDurban. Ngenzela ukuthu uThule angalokhu efona. Wathi kimi kulungile. Ngicele inumber yakhe. Ngiyi-save ngokuthi Mandla la efonini. Wafonela i-cab. Ngathi shwi eMbali.
Ngingena nje endlini sengizikhulumisa nefoni sengathi ngikhuluma nawe.
“Ngilindeni eBerea, ningayiqedi inyama ngingafikile,” ngimemeza kakhulu khona ezongizwa.
“Ungafunga ukuthi intombi yakho uMzi,” esho engibuqa. “unjani umngani wakho?” ebuza.
“uPearl, akuyena umngani wami…u-right, ngibashiye eSt Annes, ufonele ubhuti wakhe uzomthatha khona,” ngiqamba amanga isiZulu.
Ngihambe ngiye ekamelweni ngikhononda ukuthi akangipakishele ngani. Ngifake izikibha eziyi two esikhwameni ngimlunguze, ngimbone going through my fone, ngihleke kancane, ngeke ayithole lenumber. Ngivele ngiqhamuke, athuke. “ibattery yakho izophela bekumele uchargee”.
“ngizocharger emotweni,” ngisho phi khona ngoba anginacharger emotweni.
Lapho angisabambeki sengisha amashushu. Ziye. Ngithe ngehla ngoAlexander ngifonele “uMandla”. Athi uma ngifika kwi gate ngibhaze uzovula. Angitshele ukuthi angibo paka kuphi bese ngiza ku 13th floor angitshele iflat number.
Inyuka nje ilift ngiyaqhaqhazela kuhlangene nenjabulo, phela ngeke adabule losisi, (uMiss wami njalo). Selokhu ngibhodla leyaRed Bull nje. Ngizovuka inkunzi ebovu ngiyakutshela wena, ngize ngiphumisele!
Ngifike umnyango uvuleke kancane, ngivele ngingene.
“Ukhona la?” ngimemeza.
“Hhayi- bo wangithusa. Waze washesha,” uqhamuka nje ubhince ithawula elikhulu elimhlophe, lawa ayevela egqokwe uRobin Townsend ku-advert yeLux. Amoyizele.
“Sengathi uyahamba nje pho?” ngibuza ngokuphoxeka.
“No, bengigeza nje ngeke ngisaya ndawo. Kade ngifonele i-insurance, imoto bazoyilungisa ngeLwesibili,” esho eshintsha isubject. Cabanga-ke ngigqoke le-linen yami epowder blue, sengibhonyelweni lapho!.
“Ave ngibongile ngokungisiza…” ngivele ngimshaye ngebaby kiss esiphongweni.
“Not today….” Ngimgxishe ulimi emloyeni awaqedele khona amazwi akhe…
Ngimuzwe ethi mmhh…mmhh…evuma ngimmunce. Ngimdudule sihlehle siya ekamelweni…liwe nethawula, ngihamba ngikhumula nami. Mfana loyamlomo ngathi owengane encane, uthambile it is so innocent…ngimqabule intamo, ngehlele emabeleni…she is shivering like a chicken…ngimbuze ukuthi u-right yini, athi avume ngekhanda.
Ngimlalise ngomhlane, nami ngikhumule masinya…ngimngenele ngolimi, unuka i-Elizabeth Arden. Ngimkhothe mpitshi yami..ngimuke naye..ngehlele enkabeni ngiluzungezise khona ulimi…akhale “Oh my God..” ephuthaza impombela yami, avithole…ayibambe ayiqinise…ngihlehle…ngoba izinzipho zakhe ziyangilimaza…ngayizwa kancane nje i-battery yefoni yami ithi ti ti ti iphela….
Ngithi angingaqale ngiye laphaya enjinini…ngimcele aphenduke alale ngesisu…eish mfana…the body is to die for laphaya..yonke into yakhe ikahle…ngithi ukummasaja amahlombe…athi mmmh…ngivele ngiqale ezinqeni ngizikhothe…ngehlele emathangeni ngemuva ngiwanese kahle ngolimi, lapho ukhalani uPearl…oh..oh..oh. Nami kuthi angimnikize njengeNandos.
Ngimncenge kahle nje…ngiwavule amathanga afit ngemuva…ngiqale ngikhothe phakathi on the inside of them… “oh oh…” ngimphendule sibhekane…
“kumnandi?” ngimbuze..
“so heavenly…ngiyakufuna mina….”
“I will treat you last the princess….” Ubani ngizomnikiza!
Ngifuna ukudla injini uqobo manje…ngimkhothe on the pelvis…kugcwele uboya konke lapho…ngehle naye ngibheke eMkomaas…angibambe umqala ngemuva ezama ukungicindezela enkomeni, ngijampe…I want to be in control here. Ayeke..ngize…ngiyivule, isanda kugezwa mfana…imanzi kodwa..ngiqale ngigijimise ulimi kubhontshisi..ahayize lapho…ngithi ukuma, ngizwa kudlula abantu ngepassage, kodwa abezwa lutho….kodwa mina ngiyezwa bakhuluma ngoBobby Motaung ngokuthenga kwakhe uNhleko…uyanxapha omunye…ngiphindele khona baba…ngiwumunce ubhotshisi ushibilike, ngimuthole…ngiwudonse gently khona engozolimala…akhale athi awe mah..ngivele ngiwungenele ngisimunce isibumbu sengathi ice cream ndoda…
“unayo ikhondomu?” ngibuze.
“cha…”
“Sh!t…” akusekho ukuhlehla manje…ngicabange oKhomanani…no Love Life, so much effort they put into the campaign. Ngivele ngishaye isiphambano samaRoma…akusenani…
Ngibambe umleze owodwa ngiwuphamise, ingijamele igquza mfana…lapho ucimezile yena uPearl…ngiwufake akhamise avule amehlo…aweee…ungene without problems…but this girl u-tight mfana kuyasho ukuthi uyazijimela yena…ngingaqale ngifende…ngilokhu nginyakaza kancane ngizenelisa ukuthi uphakathi..ngiyamuzwa nje yena ulokhu efendafenda into engayephi…Ngiqale ngiwubasele, ngimbambe ngefigure and ngimphushele okhalweni lwami, ngizwe ukuthi ngeke aphunyuke manje..lapho usekhuluma izilimi…ujuluke ikhala…ngifende, cabanga-ke ngangifake ngayizolo leyambiza yalobaba waseMaqongqo…so I was fresh and powerful…ngifende ngamandla and anginavalo lokuthi ngizosheshe ngichithe…ngimuzwe nje ehhema naye engazizwa ukuthi uthini…ngilokhu ngiquma kancane nje mina…ngimbhebhe mfana, ngime ngomlenze owodwa omunye usembhedeni, so I have all the power…ngimuke naye…ngimuzwe ukuthi uyachama okokuqala, amemeze ngize ngimvale umlomo ngesandla esisodwa…ngiwushude still in this positon ngoba ngifuna ukuzenelisa ukuthi ngimshaya ngempela.
Lapho eqeda ukuchama okwesibili ngimphendule…ngifuna sishaye idoggy…usevumela noma yini manje…ngimbambise okwebhala…izinqa ngizibuke la phambi kwami ngibusheke futhi…
“…aweh mah…aweh Xolani..f*ck…f*ck…” ngihleke kancane uma ngicabanga ukuthi uthisha wami njalo lona engimkhalisa kanje…ngimphendule futhi…ngihlale on the edge yombhede ngithi akahlale kumina..agxamalaze…sabhebhana sibheke manje….ngamtshela ukuthi akashaye ngendlela akayifunayo…while I was still saving energy…ngazithinteka….yangibhebha ingane yabantu, mina ngibhizi namabele nje ngiyancela okwenkonyane…ngize ngiwa-head ngiwadunsule…uma sengibona ukuthi ngizodedela ngimsuse masinya…ngimfake umunwe enkomeni ngimshaye ngawo manje…ngenze sho ukuthi ngehlisa ilukuluku lokuchama lapha kumina…
Ngitshela ukuthi asikaqedi nge woman empowerment…akeze ngaphezulu …sibhebhane for ten minutes ehlezi phezulu elokhu eshintshashitsha iposition yakhe as it suited her. Lapho akasangichamelile nje, sengimhloshana ama v fluids… Ngithe sengikhathele futhi sengifuna ukuchama…ngimphendule ngize ngaphezulu. Ngithi akagaxe imilenze yakhe emhlane wami….lapho ngilizwe ukuthi lingene lonke…ngishaye for three minutes with a very high pace…ngivele ngibe isiphukuphuku ngimbhebhise okukamahosha…sengathi anginendaba naye.. eyi my bra…ngize ngimlume…ngimuzwe ethi ngingachameli phakathi…kanti uphuzile ukungitshela…sesigcwele isibeletho isidoda… ngibone nje ukuthi she’s complaini, but very satisfied…ajampe aye etoilet…ngilale ngibheke phezulu mina..isalokhu imile impolombeka…ngimuzwe evula amanzi ngale…angimazi wayenzane…abuye after two minutes…uyifica imile ithe mpo! Ngivele ngimbambe..
“usafuna futhi….??”….ngimlethe kimina, ngimbhekise phezulu…ngisho khona…ngizwe ukuthi induku ithanda ukulelwa amandla kancane…ngicele ukumbhebha ngibuka ingquza…ngithe nje jab inkomo, yaqina induku yathi mpo…ngashay ngaleposition esigcine ngayo….ngambhebha my bra…it was 15 minutes mhlawumbe…lapho angisafune kushintsha position…saqeda kanye kanye salala sabheka phezulu…wayengasakhonondi ngendaba yamachamela phakathi…wavele wazumeka umuntu wakhona…ngicabanga ukuthi kwakuhlangene nendaba neNavara yakhe…wabe elokhu esmile kancane ebuthongweni…ngibone ukuthi ifoni yakhe iNokia..ngibheke icharger ngixhume eyami….ngiyi onise…ngifice amamessage kaThule..
“I knw nw tht u ar nt wit Mzi…I hv cold him,” nginxaphe…ngizishayela nqunu nje layindlini….ngivele kubalcony and watching the early evening traffic….
Ngalala khona my bra…ukusa kwaziwa yimi ngibheke kuParklane Spar ekhemesi.
Ngiyabuya elivini…next week. But uPearl...i think useyangithanda…manje uzoyona yonke lento, uyazi nawe umuntu ubhora kanjani eseyintombi..

Moja.
Xolani




AMABHADI 3 – The grand finale

Hhola bolova
Wemadoda kunjani lapho espanini, nami ngiyalulama lapha esibhedlela…umlenze nje ongafuni ukuphola…balokhu bewugaxe ensimbini, but sengihlale two weeks manje angisafuni lutho…ngijahe espanini…noNombu wasiza wangilethela ilaptop and I can now access my emails…nani neza kanye nje ukuzongibona…ave nibheda kodwa umuntu uthi unabangani…
Wemadoda nanikuphi ngizitika kanje, ngaze ngamudla umutu ngingamazi. Phela yingalela Langa ngisuka lapho.
Yeyi, eish langinetha izulu ngiphuma lapho kwakho, eNgwelezane. Futhi uyabona mina ukuba imoto yami ikhona ngabe angihlupheki, kanje umshwalenze wavele wala waphetha ukukhokha ngoba yayishayelwa nguNombu imoto.
Ngama mfethu eSanlam Centre ngilinde lenja engu Mbongeni, kuphi khona, intombi yakhe ingitshela ukuthi uvale ucingo nayo iyamfuna. ekse awukhande imoto nawe, ngeke nginethwe kanje ukhona ndoda.
Langinetha mfana ngathothobala njengenkukhu emvuleni, kwamanzi i-under, kwashwabana isende!. Lapho angisakwazi ukuphinda emuva le kwakho. Cabanga-ke nefoni yavelwe yathelwa amanzi yacisha. Ngathola imoto ngaseKFC yangigibelisa, yazi inja ithi ibicabanga ukuthi ngiya eRichards Bay. Ngasho kahle ukuthi “mfethu sengihlwelwe ngiya Ethekwini,”. Wangishiya ebridgini kuN2, ave ngiyisaba leyandawo lova. Ngama kwi-off ramp ngahiker manje…
Ngithe ngisathithiza mfana, kwavele waqhamuka uCorolla, ngamisa wadlula ngibona vele ukuthi umuntu wesifazane lona oshayelayo kodwa bahamba bawu-two…kanti izoma nje laphaya, ishaya amahazard, ngagijima ngamfishane ngiqonde khona. Ngingabuzi ngingene ngemuva, sekuqala ukuhlwa manje…ngingene kuvele kube nenkungu la emotweni ngoba ngimanzi te futhi ngiyagodola, kushayana amazinyo.
Ngibonge, kodwa angikhululekile ngoba ngimanzi futhi ngihlala ezihlalweni zendwangu. Kufudumele kamnandi lapha, uma ngithi kanti amaphoyisa lawa womabili. Kuthi di isibindi nenjabulo, bafethu mina angikaze ngiwathande amaphoyisa, kodwa I have never been so happy as seeing two of them. Iqhwize imoto uyayinyathela losisi ba-busy bayaxoxa lapha, ngize ngithole ukuthi ophathina abangabaseshi..qagela bakhuluma ngaliphi icala, leli lokudutshulwa kwendoda kaSbo eMpangeni, bakhala nge-beaurocracy in investigating it. Ngizithulele nje nami, lapho sengicabanga uSbo ukuthi ngizofike ngibhodlele kuyena eThekwini.
Indlela ajaha ngayo losisi ngabona sesiseStanger..uma ngithi esibukweni, my gosh, kanti muhle kanje losisi odrivayo…kodwa weeh amaphoyisa angiwafuni.
Ngiyabezwa nje bayaxoxa ngokuthi uInspector lona uzosala oTongaat…
Simshiye-ke lapho oTongaat…ithi intokazi angizohlala ngaphambili…ngize ngesheshe nami…ngishiye kumanzi te esihlalweni, ukuba kuthiwa iGalofu lami leli kungafa umuntu…vele imoto kahulumeni lena…Isikhathi sekulapha ko7.45pm…anthi igama lakhe uZethu…inkinga yami unezwi elifana naleModel C enguNosipho (ave engidina lowomlungu omnyama)…nami ngizisho elami… abuze ngihlalaphi, ngimtshele ukuthi ngiseMbilo, kodwa ngingowaseMaritzburg…athi yena uhlala ePhoenix…ulokhu ezamula into engapheli ethi ukhathele..sithe nje uma sesila kwakhiwa khona i-airport entsha athi ave ekhathele, anginayo yini imali mhlawumbe ngiqashe imetre taxi to take me to uMbilo, ngithi suister, angiphethe lutho…kufuneka ngilale kwami…phela kwakuyiholidi leli lamhlaka 10 August, ngakusasa kwakumele ngiye espanini..athi asambe siye ePhoenix uzothola ozongisiza…
Uma sifika kwakhe…avele umuntu azithele ngabandayo nje…angenzele ikhofi ngiqhiphotheke kusofa nami ngibuka iGenerations lena esiyophela…Hhayi munhle loyamuntu wemadoda…ngeke usho ukuthi iphoyisa…
Ngathuka ngoma mfana ethi angifuni yini ukulala ngihambe kusasa ngoba akamtholi lomuntu obezongisiza…ukuthuka kwami kuhlangane nokukhulu ukuqhanyelwa…
Ngivele ngicele ukuyogeza angikhombe kwibathroom yamavisitors anginike konke namathawula…ngifike ngikhethe ishawa mfana…mgiyibuke impolombela isimile ngisho ngithi uyadla lapha mfana namuhla…ngaze ngashaya indlwabu…ngiviva..
Uma ngiqeda naye useqedile…kwavele kwahlangana amehlo bafana…ubophe izinwele zibheke emuva…ithawula elimhlophe qwa lihlezi ngenhla kwamabele…lapho mina itende limile…ngivele ngisondele kuyena ngithi…Zethu…akumele sense lento…kodwa ngiyakuhalela..bengingazi umuhle kanje…ngivele ngivele ngisondele ngimqabule umlomo osoft mfana sengathi ingane encane…ngiyamuzwa nje uTshepo Mabona kwiSoccer Zone…ethi players must learn to score goals…ngithi ngenhliziyo abafunde lapha kumina…
“Mzi…ngeke…lomuzi owendoda yami..uma inga…”
Akawagwinyanga ngammunca…ucabanga ukuthi yena angafaka indoda engangami emzini wendoda enye…ulindeleni?..
Ngammunca zona izindebe lezi wankwankwaza…elokhu ethi: “uyazi wena uyazi wena…”
Lapho sengifuna ukumbhebhela ukuthi ukhuluma njengoNosipho (angimfuni lowo, ngiyomdlwengula uma ngimthola…ngiyadlala guys).
Sengifuna ukumudla khona lapha esitting room uZethu…ngihlehlise ngonyawo icoffee table….ngimngenele ngolimi emadlebeni kuze kuwe ithawula lakhe…kuvele onjani umzimba ndoda…uboya busuka ezinzeni bufike ngenhla kwenkaba….amabele mancane mfana sengathi una 13 years….akasakhulumi lapho usevumela noma yini engiyenzayo luyena…uma ngimthinta ngaphansi mfana umanzi te…ngidonse amathawula lawa amabili ethu ngiwandlale phansi ku-carpet…athi yena ngcono siye embhedeni…
Ngimqubule mfana nami amandla angakaya angazi ngawathathaphi…
Ngimphinde ngolimi bafana…ngifuna akhulume i-language yami…lapho useyakhala..awe Mzi aweh Mzi…ngathi mina ukhala ungakashaywa galakajana…ngimbuze ukuthi ngeke yini amithe…athi cha..akekho okhuluma eyamacondom…ufresh loyamuntu ngeke nje abe nezifo…futhi uthe unendoda…for sure iyodwa…acele ukungincela umthondo…
Ngimnike…bafana…oNombu kusazothatha iminyaka ukuthi bafunde ukuncela ipipi kanjeyaya…awuncele mfana ngizwe ukuthi lomuntu uzongichamisa…ngimsuse…
Ngicele ukuvele ngimudle…lapho ucimezile nje akasakhulumi….ngiwufake…akhale awe ma awe ma…ngiwukhiphe…ngithi Zethu…athi Mzi wami…ngiyiphinde ngibusheke impolombela…sengithandazela ukuthi ngingachami masinya…ngizwe ukuthi ngimuka naye manje…ngimfende bafana…ngimuke naye..
Ngimphendule ngifuna ukuqhamuka ngasoLundi…ngikhwelise okwenkunzi….ngefende slowly allowing her to moan as she pleases…ikhale ingane yabantu mfethu ubone nje ukuthi sekunesikhathi yagcina ukubhejwa…ngiyincenge slowly kuthi dwi uma sengizizwa ukuthi ngeke ngichame masinya….ngishaya ngendlela slowly enokuba stingy phakathi ngifuna ukumchamisa ebheke lema…awe nkosi yami…umnandi babaa uyezwa….lapho sengibhongela phansi nje mina…
Acele ukuba ngaphezulu…bafana leyangane iyakwazi ukuthokozela ucansi….avele angifake ozankosi abophele izandla ngemuva kube sengathi ngiyobingelela imantshi…angilekelele ngoba sengihelpless…angibambe agone kumina engincikise ngecontinental……anginunusele ngamabelealokhu ewagudla emlonyeni wami….yangibhebha ingane yabantu bafethu and returned the favour more than three times I had done it…unendlela yakhe yena nje…yokubhebha…wachama echamile…lapho angisakwazi ukukhipha ozankosi ngoba nami ngifuna ukuzifikela mathupha sengicimezile nje nami ngilalele lento emnandi kanje…ngamuzwa ekhala….ezibonqa mina ngithi uyachama..uma ngivula amehle ngithi jab…kukhona indoda lapha endlini isimungenele ngemvumbu…iphethe isagila kwesinye isandla…bangibambile mfana ozankosi ngeke ngenze niks…yangingenela ngemvumbu indoda..ngaqale ngaziqinisa…hhayi ngakhala mfana…xola brazo…iwisa laqhuma ezimbanjeni nasemilenzeni…ekhanda…angazi kwenzekani emva kwalokho…kodwa ngaphapha ngilapha esibhedlela eSt Augustine….bengithi anginitshele amabhadi ami…mhlawumbe ukudla abafelokazi….uNombu wazi ukuthi ngahlaselwa abantu ababengikhuthuza…njengoba nani nazi lokho nje…ningayithi vu kumuntu lendaba…ngigcinile nokulokhu ngiya kaSbo…uzethu nje engingamazi noma uyaphila yini lapho ekhona…noma indoda yakhe yambulala…nibheke nje emaphepheni madoda…Ngiyaphinda ningayithi vu lendaba especially emsebenzi…utshele uBertha noMalindi wena Xolani ukuthi thanks ngama-flowers…I’m recuperating…yilomlenze nje owaphulwa yileyanja. Uyazi yangenza uClarence Carter…I got caught…
Kodwa eish..ave sengiwathanda amaphoyisa! I’m legally attached to them.
Moja..
Mzi


AMABHADI 4 – The anticlimax!
Hhola majita,

Nginenyanga nohhafu ngifikile kuleli-flat and I’m bored to death since ngahlukana noNombu sengathi wonke amantombazane ayangizonda. Ngiyamzonda uNosipho ngoba phela uyena owaphunyula lendaba yami yokushaywa, kodwa nani ngangithe ningathi vu majita, buka nje ngaze ngasula espanini, ngisho uSbo uthi unginyanya kabi.
Uyazi noma ngithi ngiyamisa la emantombazaneni ivele ingiphoxeni intombi! Amabhadi qobo phela lawa. Sengize ngaphelelwa ukuzethemba.
Kepha angazi noma ucilo wazishaya endukwini yini noma kwenzakani…sengithole omunye usisi..asibhebhani kanje, nsuku zonke alikho elamahhala.
Ake nginixoxele ukuthi isukaphi yonke lento. Losisi unext door wami ohlala kuduplex ngezansi kwelami…losisi ukhulelwe..mude nje uthe klwi, muhle mfana…wemadoda muhle loyamuntu, yilamantombazana afan noTerry Phetho lo weTsotsi.. umuntu omuhle kanjeya ngamgcina ngentombi yami uNonku (siphi vele lesosifebe?).
Losisi uhlala nefiance yakhe inkinga nje mfana uyasivulela isibhaxu loyamuntu…mfethu ungashay intombazane ikhulelwe? Kwenzeke kanjena-ke amshaye ngelinye ilanga aze am-kicke out. Lina mfethu izulu…ngathula 10 minutes, kwala ngaphuma. Phela it could be my sister, my mother or my daughter, so I had to do my bit..ngamfica uhlezi ngaphandle ezitebhisini uyakhala emvuleni, ubona ngamahlombe elokhu enyakaza nje. Uyazi impilo yaseflathini, akekho noyedwa (nami ngiyazibala) oke aphume akhuze noma alamule…very sad.
“Sawubona, ungathuki yimina,” ngisho ngimqinisekisa.
Avuse ikhanda.
“Ngicela uhambe uzongidalela more izinkinga,”
“angikwazi ukukushiya lapha wedwa, ngena kwami kufudumele khona,”
“Ngicela ungiyeke, hamba,”
“Uma wena-ke ungazicabangeli, cabangela lengane oyithwele, ineright to be alive, so you can help this child to live,” ngimbambe ngengalo ngimsukumise, avume angilandele..sinyuke izitebhisi …iskirt eside asigqokile sesimanzi te njengoba ebehlezi emvuleni.
Angene endlini ngimhlalise esitulweni…(uyazi ifurniture isashoda lapha) ngithi akangitshele kwenzenjani…asho-ke ukuthi u-my brother lo uyamshaya…ufuna ucansi ngenkani njalo uma ephuzile, such a sad story.
Ngimenzele i-coffee..athi akaliphuzi ngoba ukhulelwe so ngimenzele ihot chocolate athi that’s better. Athi igama lakhe uSthe…nami ngimtshele elami…Uyazi mfethu ngezwa ngigcwala intukuthelo..ngizibuza ukuthi kanti bafunani abanye abantu besilisa..phela that is a Goddess loyamuntu wesifazane..ake ngikuchazele ukuthi unjani…bengithe mude nje kancane, she is size 34…unamabele amakhulu kahle kodwa and which are bulging sengathi iSwazi Princess (uphi lowo vele?) and very smooth …unoboyana phakathi kwawo…lo-wonder bra awufakayo uvele umenze isimanga…uyazi mfethu yilenhlobo yesifazane which is inviting uyibuka nje ithi ngidle…ngimbuze pho uzokwenzanjani athi ucela ukulala lapha kucouch uzobona ekuseni…
Ngithi mina nonsense uzolala lapho ngilala khona…I cannot make your plight anymore difficult for you and the baby…(playing a good man now)
Athi ucela ukugeza…ngimnike amathawula ami lawa amasha…uyazi mpintshi avele akhumule kahle ngesizotha khona lapha phambi kwami aze abe nqunu kodwa asale ngephenti li-cream mfana liyashibilika usilk…uyazi ngakhamisa waze waqeda ukukhumula…holding my breath sengathi ngizophahlazeka nebhanoyi..umzimba walengane ndoda…uvele ungibuzise imibuzo eminingi.
“How old are you? Usukhulelwe isikhathi esingakanani?”
Amoyizele mfethu yazi lokhuyakumoyizela kuba sengathi izibani ziyacisha layindlini kukhanya yena yedwa.. Athi I’m 26 and 5 month pregnant, why…
“Cha ngiyabuza nje…” amoyizele futhi….abuze ukuthi ngihlala nobani…ngithi mina ngihlala ngedwa…athi yena iphi intombi yami…ngithi mina sesahlukana…athi nginamanga ave enjalo phela amadoda… ngize ngimkhombise Isms kaNombu ngoba angikaze ngiyidelete. Ayifunde.
“Mzi…twas hard reaching ths decision…I gues okwami nawe kuphela lapha ngizwile ukthi uthole umsebenzi eScottburgh..all da best ngicela ungikhohlwe nami I’ll do da same. Ingane akuyona eyakho ungazami ukulwa nami isimo sangiphoqa, ave ngaphoxeka ngawe. Nombu (No 1 Sobantu Diva).”
Yaz ngihlengezele izinyembezi ngenkathi eyifunda kodwa ngizibambe…uyazi avele athule naye eshaywa amahloni…athi nje…”mmhh..wamxolela kodwa?” ngivume ngekhanda..
“Ziyenzeka lezizinto, Mzi…I’m sorry about this,” usalokhu emile phambi kwami ngephenti kuphela mfethu..mina ngihlezi embhedeni..
Ngimbambe ngimsondeze kumina ngim-hugge…ngimqabule isisu nenkaba…angibambe emahlombe and squeezed them tenderly…unuka some exotic perfume, but I think in D&G …which is driving me crazy in a very romantic way…ngikhumule ishirt ngiqimbe…naye angivumele yonke into ngimqabule yonke indawo. Ngisukume..yazi ngimfishane kancane kulengane…ngimqabule izindebe..ngimbone kancane ecimeza…egqiha ngobumnandi. Ngimkhothe izindlebe nasemvakwentamo while caressing amabele akhe…aqume lapho…she returned the favour angiqabule isifuba and sucked izibele zami elokhu ebuza ukuthi angilimali yini..ngithi mina don’t stop…athi angimqabule mina futhi so that ezoqhanyelwa kakhulu…ingithuse indlela abeka ngayo…uyazi ngenkathi ngimsebenza ngiyambuka esibukweni esikhulu lesi asifulathele yena…Kodwa Nkosi yami ngisho onkulunkulukazi baGriki babengebahle kanjena…umile nangu umuntu wesifazane..ukuthi ukhulelwe she has not lost her shape, engabe unjani uma engakhulelwe…ngehle naye mfana…enkabeni nasemva kwezingalo…ngizitshele ngithi mfana ungayoni lento…mncenge kahle lomuntu…ask if you are not sure of anything.
Ngehle ngize ngifike enkomeni izinza zivele ngapha nangapha kwephenti lapho kuqala khona amathanga asulekile…ngilibambe iphenti ngigijimise umunwe emgqeni walo…from the front to the back……akhumule ishirt lami..athi ukwethuka ebona lezizibazi zemvubu eyayingidla kaZethu…ngevele ngithi “mina sweety ngiyinkunzi emidwayidwa,” ahleke bese ethi lets be serious…
Ngilehlise kancane iphenti ngilokhu ngimqabulile umzimba wonke…uselokhu egqiha kakhulu manje…aphakamise umlenze awubeke embhede khona kuzophuma iphenti…aphuthaze itrack suit yami aqaqe intambo ayehlise konke kanyakanye nebrief…luphume uhalakasha madoda impolombela yami umagadula izinza…okade bemvivinya uchide lekhinqi alibhekeki liyesabeka ngoba lineso elilodwa…umbomboshe omnyama ufuze ekhaya bonina oThukela…athuke kancane…angibheke..mfethu lengane ivele ibe uTerry Phetho ngempela manje…amehlo ache abomvu asemanzi sekuhlangene nokuthhi uqhanylwe uphelile manje…”that’s quite a d!ck” asholo phansi eqabuza umlomo wami…avele angikhothe isifuba futhi ehlele esiswini engidudula kancane ukuze ngilale embhedeni ngibheke phezulu…wangikhotha slow and tenderly okhalweni…eze emasendeni…mfethu ngisho uNombu ubengafuni uma ngithi akangisucke ushafu…uNonku kuphela owayewudla…azikhothe mfana izigaqa zamasende ngizwe sengathi ngizezulwini kungesikhathi…senagthi ngigibela izintaba…mfethu iyayazi into eyenzayo leyangane…wena Xolani kusafuneka uphinde uvalele uBertha…uyambona nje ukuthi inhlobo eyodwa noNonku….
Bafethu avele eze kuyona impolombela lena…aqale ay-stroke ngomunwe sengathi uyayisaba…athi: “do you mind if I can have some of this” esho esmile kancane…”go for it..” ngisho ngokukhulu ukuthokoza emphefumulweni sengathi ngiqeda ukuzalwa kabusha…aqale akhothe itip…ngizwe umzimba u-shrinka…athi: “hold on to yo seat”…ngithi mina “pls drive smooth” athi: “of course”…awufake kancanekancane emlonyeni ngibone nje ngemihlathi yakhe ukuthi usemphinjeni phela manje…qede lapho awufake awukhiphe emlonyeni ewusucker ngendlela mina engingakaze ngiyizwe selokhu ngazalwa…ame kancane “are u ok” uyazi sengiquma sengathi ngiyadliwa qobo…”pls say if I’m hurting you” ngithi mina akaqhubeke man…imnandi lento…abuyele khona…sengithandaza nje ukuthi ngingachami…phela leyanto…was very unique…ngisho iSwazi Princess ayifikanga laphaya…awumunce umthondo ndoda lomntwana…engibrusha isisu nesifuna…kuze kuphele u15 minutes…ngimbambe ngimphendule ngimlalise embhedeni…ngifuna nami ukuthi ajabule phela…ngiqale ngimkhothe inkaba…ngize kumapelvis ngigijimise ulimi lwami ezinzeni…phela mina angisayenzi lento…uNombu nje okade emba nenhlanhla yokusuckwa yimi…ngimvule kakhulu imilenze…izibumbu singijamele…ubhontshisi umile mfana uthi nje ngongowakho….
Ngime kahle ngoba umlenze wami usathunukala kancane…ngiguqe phambi kwakhe sengathi ngiyathandaza ngithi “nkosi busisa lesisitsha esiphambi kwami”…ngisingenele isibumbu ngolimi ahayize…ngikhothe ephoyiseni…qede ngifake lonke ulimi phakathi ngilokhu ngilugunquzisa…ngimuzwe eshisa kanti uyangichamela nje zibekwa…ngidonse elinye lamathawula ngimsule abe namahlonyana…ngimphinde futhi…ngiwuncele ubhontshisi…tenderly ngeze sure akalimali…akhale awe Mzi awu babaa…I love u soooo…awe mah….achame futhi…hhayi- bo!...ngimsuke kahle futhi axolise this time ngithi mina…no worries baby…mina sengijabulele ukuthi nje ngiyamchamisa kwaphela…ngimphinde okwesithathu…ngiyivule kakhulu imilenze ngiqale edidini manje…nginyuke ngize khona emomozini akhale akhalile…usethe ukuba tense manje…angasheshi achame…ngisidle ndoda isibumbu ngomlomo…angiyikholwa lento ngoba phela indoda yakhe ilapha nje ngezansi…man..stolen grapes are the sweetest…ngisuke ngimfake umunwe manje…ahayize kakhulu….ngiwushutheke wonke umunwe…ngiwunyakazise sengathi ngiyaqhweba…ngizwe ngithinta leyandawo efeeler sengathi umphimbo…achame futhi..lapho uphakama ngesifuba izandla uzichithela lena nalema…uvale amehlo uyamemeza nje kuphela…achame futhi…ngimuzwe ephuthza impolombela yami ngimvumele ayithole…ayisondeze khona…ayifake…ngithi mina akame, that one is my department…abuse ukuthi ikhona yini ikhondomu…ngithi mina ikhona, athi ucela siyizebenzise…nami ngibone ukuthi she’s reasonable on that….ngibheke ngiyothole…athi ucela ukungifaka yena…ayifake kahle futhi… ngisondele..ngithathe umlenze owodwa ngiwugaxe ehlombe lami ngigxamalazele omunye…ngiyifake kancane kancane inkuzi yami…she’s a little tight kuyasho ukuthi ukhulelwe…ize ingene yonke…lapho yena useyahhema nje…ngimuzwe nje ethi: “mina..babaa, wena uyangibhebha nje…imnandi ingquza kaSthe babaa?” ngismile kancane. Ngibone ukuthi nomqondo sengathi ubuye uhambe lapha.
Ngiqale ngifende kancane and make sure I’m rubbing myself against her…ngiqale nginyuse i-pace manje…akhale kakhulu ngizwe uyachama…nami angikholwa ukuthi yimina lona ochamisa umuntu wesifazane kaningi kangaka…ngifende ngiqinise manje…ngize ngicishe ngimlume amabele…akhale bafethu lomntwana…ngibone ukuthi sekunanosizana oluncane…ngimbuze ukuthi ufuna ngimbhebhe kanjani…athi ucela ngiqale ngiqhamuke ngemuva…ngenze njalo…ngiqhamuke ngasoLundi…abeke umlenze owodwa embhedeni…ingijamele isiZulu ingquza…ngiwujikijela futhi ngizwe ukuthi usesibelethweni manje…ngimbhebhise okwesifebe lapho umbhede uze ugudluke uyothi gci ngodonga…achame futhi okwesi seven manje..uyazi nawe ziwu-seven maziphelele…ngizwe ukthi ngithanda ukukhathala manje…kudingeka ngithathe amandla…ngicele eze ngaphezulu …ngisho entshweni…ngimcele angabambeleli ngomlenze angaze angithunuke…
Agxamalaze mfana ahlale kimina…awufake kancane kancane…uze usithele out of my sight ehlathini lezinza zakhe…afende lapho…aweh mah…awe malo…Mzi…baby…aweh…aweeeeehhhh….achame futhi…mina angiyazi lento ngiyoyizekela amagwababa echobana…
…afende ndoda it was perhaps five minutes….ngizwe ukuthi nami ngizochama kungekudala…ngimvuse ngibe ngaphezulu…ngiwufake wonke…bese ngithi ukuma ngiwuzwa ushaya i-pulse…lapho uSthe uyangqasha yena…ngiqale ngifende ngizwe ukuthi ngizochama kungekudala lapha…ngivele ngimbambe ukhalo nesinqa ngikusondeze kumina…ngiwushaye….ngifende into ehambayo…kuze kuthi zwi emadlebeni ami sengathi ngingenwe amanzi aese-swimming pool…noma ngiqhunyelwe isibhamu endlebeni…size siqede kanye kanye…salala sabheka phezulu sikhefuzela njengezinja…elokhu engibrusha ubuso…ebambe umthondo ngesinye isandla…ethi kumina ufuna ngibe iGodfather yengane yakhe…ye right. Sahleka sobabili…sahamba sayogeza sabuya lapho kwasuka futhi lokho…this time kwakungathi we are on steroids sifake amadrugs qobo…ngaze ngasaba ukuthi uzophuphunyelwa isisu…
Uyazi lomntwana wavele wangicoba engixoxela ukuthi umzala wakhe ohlala ePhoenix wabulawa umkhwenya wakhe emfica nendoda endlini…akwaziwa noma yona iyaphila yini ngoba yalahlwa kwidump site…ngathula ngethukile…my God..senginesidumbu phansi nje…manje angazi noma uyasola yini ukuthi yimina lowo…yazi nginamabhadi ngempela…kumele ngisuswe lelithunzi lokufa…
Later I just dismissed that…ngambhebha futhi…I have planned ukuthi ngitshele this week ukuthi yimina umafavuke…kanti ngalahlwa kwidump site madoda…now this woman has shed light.
Ekuseni waya kwakhe esehambile ufiance wakhe…wathi yena akasezokuya emsebenzini…ucela uma kungekude emsebenzini ngibuye ngizombhebha futhi…ngavuma…
Mfana elesithathu lelisonto ngimudla…useyoze atete…lempatha yakhe suspects nothing at all. Nami sengiqalile ngimthengela notshwala…adakwe alale ngidle mina ngalapha. Ningithandazise madoda kungangiphindi lokho..kodwa ngizothutha lapha..ukuze sidlane kahle noSthe.
Ekse kunjani lapho abangikhumbuli nje? Omunye wenu kufuneka adle uNosipho nimqede ukuqina. Anovakasha phela lapha akukude.
Ngiyeza lapho nge weekend ningichathazele imbiza leyo.

Sharp bolova!

Mzi



AMABHADI 5 – the cleansing ceremony

Hhola majita,

Nizothi ngiqamba amanga…baze bangibhebha oBertha noNosipho kade bezongibona. Uyazi namanje kusaduma ikhanda sengathi bengibhabhadiswa eJordan..
Ngigcine nje bengena ngomnyango…ngikhuluma iqiniso, okulandela lapho angikwazi kahle ukuchaza ngoba ngibone nje le model C enguNosipho yehlisa iphenti yalijikijela kumina. Ngisakhamisile ngimangazwe yilokho uBertha wabe eme phambi kwami ekhumula ijean wasala nqunu nqu! Ngavele ngaqhanyelwa zibekwa. Okuyi-shirt lami uNosipho uvele wakuhlubula wakuphonsa laphaya…ngingazelele uBertha wangikhumula ibhulukwe, noma wayengithunuka umlenze wami wezimanga nje ngabekezela ngoba ngase ngikwelinye izwe naleliwayini engabe ngiliphuzile lase lidunge umqondo wami.
UBertha wangingenela ngolimi emthondweni wawuncela ngangithi uzokhumula..
Sebengilalise phansi manje ngibheke phezulu uBertha ungibhebha rough and hard kanti uNosipho yena ungigovozele ingquza ingenhla kombuso bami angiyikhotheli ukuthi akube kuhle lapho…kanti simnandi kangaka lesisitha sami esingNosipho…ukuthi nje ngijahe ukuthi ngizibhebhele yena mathupha…ngimkhiphe inkani…uBertha uyakhala ufenda sengathi kade ayigcvina lento..uma nje ephuma ngigxumele uNosipho ngimbhekise lena ngiqhamuke ngasoLundi ngimhlabe ngimbone ekhamisa uma ngiwubusheka ngenkathi ngimbhebha ngiqhamuka ngasezinqeni uBertha ubhizi ungikhotha ididi yize ngimincile…aze amnandi ama-former colleague…
Uyazi bavele bangi-surpriser batheleka lapha eflethini bephethe iziphuzo…bengingazi ukuthi ngikhunjulwa kangaka emsebenzini wami omdala….ngenkathi ngigxamalazile ngifenda uNosipho uBertha yena use-sucka amasende ami..yazi lento ayenzayo ivele ingivuthele kakhulu …uze akhothe umthondo ngenkathi ungena uphuma engquza kaNosipho…lona engimqeda ukuba yi-model C ebolile…
Wena Xolani uzongizonda ngoba wamyeka sesinivalele nobabili eroomini, (ave uthithiza kodwa).
UNosipho ngizwe ukuthi udubula izikhathi zilandelana…ubheke nesibuko ngimshuda sengize ngama ngomlenze owodwa…cabanga phela ngoba ngaze nga-joker kunina ngathi ngizomraper…I did not know ukuthi yilenhlobo okufuneka uyidle kahle ungajahile wenze sure uyambhebhisisa…phela ujwayelwe ukudliwa yilabafana bakumasuburbs abangazi lutho…wayethole mina-ke namhlanje…
Bafethu zither zisuka lezizingane zangilalisa embhedeni zangibhekisa phezulu…zahlanganyela umthondo namasende zikuncela…uBertha bafethu wazi kahle ukuthi how to prolong indoda ingachami…wabe ebhizi engikhuhla ngama-ice cubes abuye awafake emlonyeni qede ancele umthondo ngomlomo obanda qa….uNosipho kwakungathi uxabene namasende nje kuphela..
Kwabe sekuyigame kaBertha yokubhejwa…ngangifuna ukumbhevula asangane ikhanda…ngaqala ngampetula imilenze…ngangifuna ukukhotha eyakhe ingquza kuqala just to set her into the mode…mfethu wayivula ingquza engakanani..isho inamalebe…ngayingenela ngolimi ngamuzwa ekhala: “Awee…awe…hiii…Mzi….” Ngimkhotha nje ngiguqe phambi kwayo…uNosopho ungihlezi edidini ngemuva…akalikhothi nje ulimi lwakhe sengathi ibursh kamapendane…Ngiwuthole ubhontshisi kaBertha…ngiwuncele ngimuzwe ekhala aze ahheme: “Mina ngaze ngadliwa…”…ngibaselwa nawuNosipho ngemuva…sekuyisitimela nje…ngincela uBertha kanti noNosipho umthondo usemuncela eqhamuka ngaphansi kwemilenze yami…uyawudla qodo…ngamuzwa uBertha engithela ngamanzi egolo agcwala amadevu….lapho useneke izandla wasantula imilenze…uma nginganyakazi masinya uzongichamisa uNosipho…Yeyi wemadoda…muhle umzimba kaBertha…ungikhumbuza uNombu ngisanda kuqala ukumazi ngangimbone kaMadlula eMpithi.
Ngimdonse uNosipho abe seceleni kwami…mina ngingenele uBertha ngomthondo…uNsipho ngibe ngimudla ngomunwe lapha eceleni kwami…ngangibuye ngiwukhiphe umthondo kuBertha ngiwujikijele kuNosipho…ngishintshane ngabo…kwase kunuka ingquza nomthondo lapha endlini…
Ngangifuna ukuchamisa uBertha futhi …ngamcela agaxe imilenze yakhe emahlombe ami…mina ngambamba isinqa sakhe ngamsondeza kumina…ngambhebha wacula…ngangifuna ukuqeda ngaye…ngambhebha ngithe senizwa ukuthi ngiyachama manje ngawukhipha…uNosipho wawuxhuma emlonyeni uvuza unjalo ngangithi ngizothundela kuyena…ngezwa ukuthi i-urge yokuchama iyaphela…
Ngambamba naye ngangifuna ukumshaya njengoBertha..
Ngamvulisa imilenze…bandla unengquzana encanyana eshefiwe…ngawufaka nokho wangena kalula…ngathatha umlenze wakhe owodwa ngawugaxa ehlombe lami ngagxamalazela omunye…ngambhebhisa okweqaba lapho…Ngangifuna ukuthi nangelilodwa ilanga angaphinde alikhohlwe lelilanga…ngambhebha majita…naye waqala wahhema manje: “Awe, awe awe…Mzi Mzi baby…ngibhebhe babaa…bhebha mina Mzi…ngibbbhheeebbhee…aweee…heee…” wachama …ngangayeka, ngambhebha ngaze ngabona ukuthi uBertha usenanomonyana…kukhona lapho ama khona wasibuka…sibhebhana..
“Mina Mzi awungenzanga kanjena…”…wachama futhi uNosipho…ngaphuma ngadonsela uBertha kumina..ngashaya nga-same position…cha ngiyamuzwa yena…ngambhebha…uNosipho ngabona ukuthi naye imbangela umona lena uma ezwa uBertha ekhala kanjena: “Mzi..mzzzii….heee heee hee..waze wangibhebha….Mzi…awe awe malo…ngichamele Mzi…thundela kumina babaaa,”.
UNosipho wavele wangifaka umunwe edidi…angikwazanga ukuzibamba ngachama khona lapho…salala sonke sijulukile…sihefuzela salala sathi ja….
Bafethu…mina bengingazi ukuthi sengidume kanjena ngokubhebha…uNosipho ungitshela ukuthi they came here on one sole purpose ukuzi-provela ukuthi ngibhebhana ngempela yini…
UBertha wavele wa-confessa ukuthi kade ayengihalela…since uSbo wabahlebela…
Eish bafana angime lapho. Mina ngigezeke ubebebe…lezizingane zivele zazongigeza amabhadi..ngichachambile ngikhuluma nje…
“Siyabuya Mzi, you haven’t had the best of us, usibekele oXolani noMbongeni phela..thina sizophatha uMalindi,” that was Bertha’s parting shot!
Wena Xolani ithuba lakho leli lokudla uBertha…lesdudla esinguMalindi sisinika uMbongeni uyazithanda vele izidudla. Mina noNosipho we have an unfinished business.

Sharp bolova
Mzi

AMABHADI 6 – The celebration of manhood

Hhola majita,
WeMbongeni wafika-ke? Ave ubheda kodwa…hey asingazidli kanje izingane noXolani kwi-bachelor party kaNhlakanipho! Kanti ngisho ubala sisazodla ezinye noXolani ebusuku emva komshado; istolomisi nomatron of honour.
Kodwa mfana wasinda kulesdudla esinguMalindi kubachelor, sasizokuphoqoza mfana ngiyakutshela. Abafikanga nabo benoBertha. Kodwa kwafika le model C enguNosipho (sesiyezwana impela selokhu ngamudla nje). Ngambhebha mfana wacishe waphuma umoya, sashintshana ngaye noXolani.
Phela kusukela kuleya Cleansing Ceremony yabo noBertha ngazizwa sengathi ngizelwe kabusha.
Leparty ibiseLincoln Meade ngoLwesihlanu ntambama…cabanga nje ngoba sasithatha u-chance umshado ungakusasa sacishe saselwa. Qagela uNhlakanipho wadla bani. Uyamkhumbula lomntwana waseMbali uBusi…lona owayefunwa uwena waqoma lommeli weJaguar.
Hhayi-ke ngakusasa sivuke siphuthume emshadweni sinuka ingquza sinjalo (ngiyadlala).
Wawumuhle mfana loyamshado, sasiGolden Horse siwabuka egandavula eSkotshivili amahhashi, siphuza iziphuzo ezine-umbrella. Inemali leyanja enguNhlaka!
Kanti-ke yinhle mfana leyangane ashade nayo uNhlaka…ukuthi bandla uzifebela njengami uNhlakanipho…Cabanga-ke futhi uyazi izinto ziyenzeka…uNombu was one of the bridesmaid, but eqondene noXolani mina ngiqondene nesinye nje isiphalaphala esathi sihlala eMpophomeni.
Bekusemva kwe-reception nje ngenkathi uNhlaka ethi ucela ngimthathele umatron of honour nalesiphalaphala ukuze balale eSweetwaters labo kunomabo khona kaNhlaka. UNombu ngiyabona waye avoida mina anamathele koNhlaka.
Futhi uXolani madoda avele afikelwe omunye umqondo athi yini lezizingane singazidli sihambe nazo ekuseni sesiya eSweetwaters. UPhumi lona isitolomisi noStha umatron of honour. Ngithi mina ngoba bayalungiselela nje…angezwa lutho uXolani..ngigcine nami ngivumile. Futhi nje ngangifuna ukuncamisa uNombu ngangifuna ezwe ukuthi ngiyidlile lengane yaseMpophomeni uPhumi. Vele sihamba ngeJetta kaXolani sifake izimpahla ebhuthini ziye..kushayela mina. UXolani uselokhu ehlushwa uThule engingamazi ukuthi ufunani, naye uyamphunga
“So bosisi ni-enjoyile nivalelisa umngani wenu?” kubuza uXolani ngenkathi uPhumi noStha sebehlezi emotweni. UXolani uhlezi naye eback uStha ulokhu embrusha…naye losisi ulokhu egigitheka…kona mdadlana kuXolani kodwa ngathi wayethathe ngamawala ewayinini ngenkathi silaphaya etafuleni.
Mina ngisesaba nokubeka isandla kuPhumi, yilenhlobo engangeneki njengo sis Sbo (engabe uphi lowo?).
“Bekumnandi bandla, ukuthi uZinhle uyafeba nje,” kusho uPhumi ngokudinwa edla ushephisi. Sethuka soma noXolani sizwa leyo. Amabhadi kaNhlakanipho-ke phela lawa. Eyithanda kanje lengane, bheka nje wawukhipha wonke uR50 000 elobola!
“Hhawu ukuthathaphi lokho, suister?” kubuza uXolani. Avele anxaphe uPhumi, agigitheke uStha..Ngithi ngenhliziyo kukhulu ezikwaziyo lezizingane esingakwazi thina.
“Asiyekeni sivele siyoziphuzela nathi, vele neyami i-O uSfiso layekhona uhlezi nezifebe,” kusaqhubeka yena uPhumi. Kwale kumina sengi-curious ngempela manje, kanti ubafo ushada isifebe.. indwangu yokusula umthondo womunye ulova?
“Maphumi sale ususitshela kwenzekeni?” ngincenga, lesifebe esihlezi noXolani sivele sithi nje “ihe!” ngibone ukuthi siyamxwayisa ukuthi engalokothi. Kungenelele uXolani.
“Yisho wena Phumi,”
“Ok, nawe Stha uyazi ukuthi yiqiniso leli engizolisho,” kusho uPhumi. Athule uStha, ngimuthi jab esibukweni ngimthole ehlahle amehlo elindele uPhumi ukuthi akhulume. Ngisho ngithi ngizozwa-ke namhlanje. Ngidonse iRed Bull ngiyishaye.
“Ok, guys, uZinhle ulale ne-ex yakhe on Wednesday, ave angidina ngoba uzenza ungcwelegcwele ehlangene nanolesisiqa mgwaqo saseSobantu esinguNombulelo,”
Hawu madoda, uNombu pho? Ngizibuza neRed Bull yaze yaphuma emlonyeni enye yangixhela kwacinana isifuba sacinana ngacishe ngakhipha imoto emgwaqeni. Avele athule uXolani, ngibone ukuthi naye is shocked, not ngoZinhle, but ngoNombu manje. We didn’t bargain for this one. Abe eseshilo uStha. “Uyabona-ke Phumi?” ngisole ukuthi uStha uyazi ukuthi mina noNombu besithandana.
“Vele yiqiniso,” kuphikelela uPhumi, “bahamba naye, angithi noNombu kade aqala entshontshisa lobhuti osebenza ePhalamende since 2007, lo abatholana naye eHarry Gwala beyobuka iMaritzburg United angithi waze wamnithisa wakhipha isisu ethi usaba i-o yakhe esebenza eThekwini, futhi vele sonke siyafeba, kodwa ngiyabazonda abazenza oholy holy…” Angenelele uXolani. Lapho sengimanzi kuhlangene nokuxheleka nentukuthelo yoku-embarraseka kanje
“Hayi asiziyekeni ezabantu sikhulume ngathi bafethu,” esho ekhuza uXolani. Nami ngiyazibonela nje ukuthi uPhumi lona akazi ukuthi uNombu bekuyintombi yami yeminyaka until recently. Ngizizwe ngijuluka…kanti amabhadi angilandele ngempela yini? Nanti ishwa lingehlela!
Uma sifika egarage lakaShell elikuMayors Walk ngingene esitolo noXoani afune indawo yokuyochama, zisale zodwa lezizingane. Sengicabange kahle angifune kuya nasemabweni eSweetwater lapho.
Sibuye kanye kanye noXolani sifika sekuthule nya, ngiyabona uStha usemtshelile uPhumi ngami noNombu…kuqale uXolani.
“Bosisi I hope you don’t mind uma sivele siyoziphuzela nje soya ekuseni eSweetwater,”. UXolani wayenezikhiye zakamngani wakhe ohlala eNapierville ngaseNew Prison. Ibhuthi igcwele phama zonke iziphuzo kucooler box. Zivume kalula lezizingane, mina sengifuna ukuzibhebhela lelithatha eselingiphoxile.
Kude kude ziye. Sisahamba ngizwe uStha esekhala ubumayemaye esethi: “Shuuuu…Mmmmhh awe….” kanti uXolani usemgijima ngomunwe emsunwini. Ngi-adjuste isibuko ngifuna ukubona kahle. I-outfit lena kamatron of honour isinyuke yahlala emahipsini akhe..kuvele anjani amathanga, amhlophe qwa! Ubafo usevele walibuyisela eceleni iphenti wamngena ngomunwe wakhuluma izilimu uStha. Amehlo lapha asemancanyana anezinyembezi engangingazi ukuthi noma eze-make up noma ukhaliswa umunwe kaXolani.
“Ave uyisfebe oh, usuphakathi njalo umunwe?” kusho uPhum. Nami sengifile ukuqhanyelwa lapho. Ngibone ukuthi uXolani kade eqalile empotoza uStha lona. Akhale kakhulu manje uStha ngenkathi uXolani emnwaya umsunu... “awe…ahhhaaaa…hawe malo hawe mah….kumnandi ngiyachama…” ngithi ngenhliziyo chama my sister eyakhe vele uXolani lemoto!
“Hhayi ngeke oh…yehlisa uyangi-onisa nami manje,” kusho uPhumi.. akhale kakhulu lapho uStha…uma ngithi jab elinye ibele selihlezi ngaphandle uyalinwaya uXolani. Ngizwe ubhoko lwami lududula ibhulukwe.
“Ngibambe kahle Xolani, leoutfit ihayarishiwe,” kuzikhalela uStha…ahleke uPhumi aze aphenduke ebabuka.
“Kodwa my friend, hhayi cha ngeke…” akaligwinyanga lelo…akhale kakhulu uStha.. “ngaze ngachama wemalo wema…hhuuuu…” aze axhileke ngoba nami ngaphazanyiswa yihump..
Sifike-ke endlini sipake imoto…mina noXolani sibambisane icooler box siyifaka endlini…lezizingane zihlale kosofa..zisanuka amaperfume omshado nemake up isagcwele amashiya nezinkophe. UXolani ubafo ave eyithanda ingquza…ngimbone esephezu kukaStha futhi. Ngoba losisi mdala nje ukunathi, ugangiswe yini? Kungcono lokhu okunguPhumi kungaphansana kwethu. Yini vele babengabangani bebe bengalingani ngokweminyaka oPhumi noStha.
Ngishaye istiff, nami angazi ngithithiziswa yini isibumbu silapha. I guess yilendaba kaNombu ephazamise umoya wami.
uXolani noStha basithele ekamelweni ngizwe uStha esekhala kakhulu…ngizibuze ukuthi uXolani uselishaye phakathi igoli njalo? Ngisandwazile ngiphazanyiswe uPhumi engangimbona ukuthi use-horny ufile manje.
“Nami awungithelele iwhisky, ungayideshi,” esho emoyizela. Ngimnike. Ayishayele phezulu..ngisondele kuye ngimbambe ngimqabuze emlonyeni othambe sengathi okaNosipho (ngiyeza kulowo).
“Sweety ave sengi-horny nami ngifuna ungibhebhe njengoba umngani wakho ebhebha uSthabile,” kusho uPhumi, ngivele ngiqhanyelwe ngife lapho…acele ngimkhumule.
Ngihlale kuye ngimkhumula kancane kancane…ngiqale nge-top..kuze usale ubra…my goodness inomzimba omuhle leyangane mfana…sengathi loyamzimba awuyazi indoda…ngimkhumule ubra…ngincele amabele, akhale “Oh Mzi…awe awe ma…kumnandi baby…kumnandi” ngehle ulimi lwami luze enkabeni lapho sengimphuthaza isiketi…ngize ngiyithole inkonobho nozip…ngisiqaqe…ngehlise uzip…uyakhala manje indlela engimkhotha ngayo below inkaba..ngiguqile yena usebambe ikhanda lami…
Ngizwe uStha ekhala ngale: “Awe ma Xolani ungubhebha kakhulu wena, huuuu…nhhhiiii…lapho-ke baba…ngiyachama…awe malo…” aze ahleke noPhumi…ngithi ngenhliziyo phezu kwakhe mfana, baphi yena ontanga yakhe?
Ngisikhiphe isiketi ngemilenze kusale iphenti elicream elismooth..ngihambise isandla sami emgqeni wephenti ngemuva ezinqeni...bese ngiyalehlisa kancane kancane…ngilibambe ngesandla… inesibumbu leyangane...ngimhlalise kucouch ngimvulise imilenze..isibumbu singijamele lapha umsunu usuqhoshile ulokhu enwaya ngenhla kwawo ethi “mmh mmmh”. Ngimbuze ukuthi ufuna ngimbhebhe kanjani… athi yena njengokuthanda kwami ucela ukuba ngowami ubusuku bonke…
Ngimdlalise umsunu akhale kakhulu…ngendlela yokuthi bezwe oXolani ngalena. Nakhona ngiyezwa uStha ukhuluma isiHebheru…uXolani ulokhu ebhonga nje sengathi kukhona omhlezi kuqhoqhoqho…umbhede ubutsikitsiki…
Ngibrushe uPhumi amathanga amhlophe…ngiwakhothe ngilokhu nginyukela khona eJerusalema emzini okhanyayo…lapho akasakhali kanje ngangize ngicabange ukuthi yilenhlobo e-feyikhayo (faker)…kodwa anginalo lelobhadi…ngibe sengilufakile ulimi engquza ngidla umsunu ngomlomo… “Awe Mzi sengizochama baba…ngiyachama baby…”asho achame…ngidonse lona iphenti lakhe ngimsule ngalo… qede ngilibambe ngomlomo iphenti… Acele ukungincela umthondo kube usho entshweni…angincele mfana ngize ngikhumbule leliyalanga zinginetha ukuthi ngangizwa obunje ubumnandi…Sengizobhebhela nokuthi ungitshele izindaba ezingaka ngoNombu!
Ngimbuze.. “unawo amacondom kuhandbag yakho?” athi cha. Angikhumule ibhulukwe alehlise lonke.
Ngisho ngithi kwaphinda lokho “sbindi uyabulala sbindi uyaphilisa” ngiwubusheke akhamise..
Ngiwuzwe ungene khaxa…ngithathe imilenze yakhe ngiyigaxe emahlombe ami…ngimfende slowly..uyazi nami ngangithi lengane ngizoyihlaba ngiyikhiphe ukwazi, kodwa ngazithola ngiyincenga kahle…ngifuna ukuyibhebhisisa…lapho isichitha izandla ngapha nangapha, ikhala.
“Mzi ngiyachama futhi baby…hhaaa…nhiiiii…”ngimqinise sengithandazela ukuthi ngingachami masinya nami…ngizicabangise izinto ezibhedayo…lapho akasakhali lomntwana…naye uyafenda…ngiphume ngenhloso yokushintsha iposition…awubambe umthondo awuxhume emlonyeni uvuza umanzi unjalo…awuncele kubaqake imihlathi…lapho mina sengathi nginenzululwane…ayeke ukuncela acele siqale nge-missionary style…eish lengane ifuna ukuzienjoya impela..angigaxe imilenze emhlane mina ngibe ngaphezulu..ayithandele imilenze ngilizwe lonke igolo elishisayo…ngifende ngamandla inkosi ibe nami ngizwe ukuthi cha angizukuchama…lapho sekunuka ingquza indlu yonke….angazi nokuthi ikwabani lapha engikwaziyo ikamngani wempintshi yami uXolani…
Ngizwe uStha ezibalisela futhi ebhejwa ngalena… “Xolani baby sengiyachama futhi…ahhhaaa, waze wangibhebha babaa…ngifuna ukubhejwa uwena njalo mina…awe malo awe….hoooo” ngizwe ukuthi uyadubula futhi.
Lapho nami angizibekile phansi kuPhumi sengimanzi te…uyangibiza phakathi naye uthi ngimbhebha kamnandi…into engingayisho nje mfana imnandi leyangane…kona uyabona ukuthi kade yayibhejwa kodwa she gives the best of her all…ingquza yakhe i-tight kamnandi…
Ngithe ngibona nampa oXolani nosugarmama wakhe bengena ngakuthina zidudulana ngepipi..Uxolani ungemuva uStha uphambili…okungumngani wami sekuze kwagoba isishwapha lesi sesisincane sengathi umphako wamasosha…bafike babhebhane eduze kwethu zikhale lezizingane kube isililo sikaNandi…nami ngisuke ngimbhekise lena uPhumi ngiqhamuke ngasoLundi…sibadudule okwebutho likaZulu empini yaseNdondakusuka naseNcome…
Sibabhebhe…uyazin uXolani kade eqalile nalosugarmommy wakhe mina ngisapicker itempo…kube sengathi uyangibasela..ngangingafuni kodwa ukumnika uPhumi yize mina ngangimhalela losisi ambhebhayo…
Ngimvumele abe ngaphezulu uPhumi ngibeke amacushion phansi mina ngimshaye ngewoman empowerment..aqale alidlalise ipipi lami emsunwini nasesibunjini asho awubhuxeke afende into ehambayo lapho kuze kusuze mina…ngimbambe ngqi kwifigure yakhe…yena ufenda sakuzihlikihla kumina.
“Mzi baby, umnandi baby boy kumnandi babaa…” esho ehayiza.
Ngithole nami ithuba lokubukela uXolani ngibona umthondo wakhe ungena uphuma kuStha..kanti unamalebe angaka! Shono nje ubafo engasaphumi laphaya…ingquza uyivule yonke balele banqume kusoka..umthondo kaXolani ungena uyaphuma egolo…amanzi alo avuzela kusofa..uyalidla igolo uXolani ungikhumbuza sidla leziyangane esazigibelisa kaMcoyi siya eMpumalanga College. Phela yilapho athola khona uThule, isinqandamathe sakhe. Uyakhumbula lesiyasidudla esasizifunela wena nje (ziyakuthanda izidudla nawe!).
Ngimphendule uPhumi ngimgaxe umleze owodwa ehlombe..omunye ngiwugxamalazele..sekuyophela u-30 minutes kubhejwana kanje…kunuka ingquza phu layindlini..
Ngimbhebhe sengimuzwa kahle manje…ingquza yakhe ifana nse nekaNosipho iyabhebheka…mina bengingazi ukuthi eMpophomeni kukhona izingane ezimnandi kanje!
“Awe Mzi…kumnandi babaa…kumnandi wena ungibhebha kamnnaaaaannddiiiiiii,”….asho achame futhi…ngizwe noStha esechama futhi… “Xolani awe malo ngiyeza futhi babaa…ngiyeeeeezaaaa…ngiyachaaaamaaaaa,” ngibone uXolani esefenda mawala ngibone ukuthi uyaqeda naye….ngimbhebhe ngamawala uPhumi nami sengifuna ukumchamela…ukhalo lwakhe ngiluzwa lonke luthe


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