Another day.

Another day, another dollar. Another day closer to Christmas. Another day older. Another day nearer to pay day. Another day closer to having to pay the rent. I feel empty. I don't know what I need to make me smile again on the inside. It's very easy to smile on the outside. I think having been a nurse for 7 years taught me that. I hate feeling like this I hate self pity and people who moan. Why can't I shake this black cloud? Where's the happy Cas gone? I wish she'd come back. She will I know in time but I've always been impatient. And I wish what ever it is gripping my heart would let go. Just for a day.