being british is all about driving a GERMAN car to an IRISH pub for a BELGIAN beer. then travelin home grabing an INDIAN curry or a TURKISH kebab on the way to sit on SWEDISH furniture and watch AMERICAN shows on a JAPANESE tv
and the most british thing of all?
suspicion of all things foreign!
only in britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
only in britain do supermarkets make s.i.c.k people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their perscriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front
only in britain do people order a double cheese burger large fries and a DIET coke
only in britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter
only in britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage
only in britain do we use answering machines to scree calls and then have call waiting so we wont miss a call from someone we didnt want to speak to in the first place
only in britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink
NOT TO MENTiON..
3 brits die each year testin if a 9v battery works on their tongue
142 brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts
58 brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers
31 brits have died since 1996 by watering their christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in
19 brits have died in the last 3 years believing that christmas decorations were chocolate
british hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after xmas cracker pulling accidents
18 brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth
a massive 543 brits were admitted to a[&]e in the last 2 years after trying to open bottles with their teeth
5 brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextrix cars
and finally..
in 2000 8 brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurd whilst throwing up into the toilet
