1.
Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together...............................Who? Your bum cheeks!!
2.
At 1st a little Nibble, Then a slow Lick & then a sensous Suck
3.
CADBURY'S CREAM EGG! "HOW DO YOU EAT YOURS"?
4.
Gawd i have found two identical objects a perfect match! My ARSE and YOUR FACE
5.
The NCHS Regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake, could you please report to your local hospital to be put down!
6.
UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet UR 100%nice and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
7.
It goes in dry, it comes out wet, the longer its in the stronger its gets. We can have it in bed, just u & me. ITS NOT WOT U THINK....... its a cup of tea!
8.
I'm at the Police Station.The police caught me & filed a case against me 4 "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2 BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!
9.
ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE. THE HIGHER DA SKIRT, THE BETTER THE VIEW!
10.
Rememba when u need a fuck, i'll always b here 4 u. Bcoz FUCK = "FRIENDSHIP U CAN KEEP", so promise me dat we will fuck 4ever!
11.
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
12.
There was once a genie who came and asked "Name ur wish", U asked "Make me Gorgeous", Genie replied "I grant wishes not fucking miracles"
13.
Piss the taking is someone that realise u that point this at is it. (Now read it backwards) !
14.
U picked me up,u took me home,u put ur hands around my waist,u took off my top,den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.
15.
R U worried about missing work or being late, we have a deal 4 U. Travel with Bin Ladin Airlines & we will fly U str8 in2 Ur office!
16.
We go up and down, protection is tight, keepin it up all damn night, never tired always alert.....
17.
I love my job as a security guard
18.
whats the difference between divorce and circumcision? with divorce U get rid of the whole prick!!
19.
I saw u staring out from da window..ur eyes..ur face..ur so adorable..i couldn't resist myself & started signing...HOW MUCH IS THT DIGGY IN DA WINDOW...
20.
This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
21.
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
22.
little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider
23.
skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
24.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
25.
Jelly baby goes to the doctors "doc ive got aids""you cant have aids ur a jelly baby!".."yeah i know..But ive been fucking allsorts!
26.
I wanted 2 rite u a letter but all i cud rite was. . . "3w 6@ys" it didnt make much sense until u read it upside down
27.
SOME1 MISSES U NEEDS U WORRIES ABOUT U WANTS 2B WITH U ...................................& IT AINT ME U CUNT!
28.
A G0OD FRIEND, IS LIKE A GO0D BRA.... HARD 2 FIND, C0MF0RTABLE, SUPP0RTIVE, PREVENTS U FR0M FALLING,HOLDS U TIGHT,AND ALWAYS
29.
CLOSE 2 UR HEART...UR MY BRA xxx
30.
The CIA has sent a female assassin to eliminate Osama Bin Laden-sadly she mixed up semtex and tampax and blew up the wrong cunt.
31.
I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
32.
This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience
33.
Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed ?oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
34.
I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION
35.
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?
36.
You?re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you?re becoming more like me everyday!
37.
Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number!
38.
Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number
39.
Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
40.
Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...
41.
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
42.
Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!
43.
Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!
44.
Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!
45.
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
46.
A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser!
47.
HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*
48.
Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than have a heart without U!
49.
if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!!
50.
I have the "I".I have the "L".I have the "O".I have the "V".I have the "E"... so pls
51.
if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u
52.
If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!
53.
If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!
54.
If Love & Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares.those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!
55.
If water was a kiss id send u the sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a tree if luv were forever id send u eternity!
56.
If i rote ur name in d sky wind wood blow it away.if i rote ur name in d sea waves wood wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it!
57.
if u love me like u told me please be careful wiv my heart- u can take it jus dont break it or my world will fall appart
58.
If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u hours.if a smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!
59.
Im @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving. Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample, they r now doin me 4 taking the piss.
60.
A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die? So a man takes off his clothes & says iron these!
61.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
62.
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
63.
3 sisters. ann, jan & fanny all have big feet, ann & jan go on a date, 1 of the boys says "jesus u have big feet "ann replys "u should see our fannys theyre huge!
64.
He came 2 me 1 nite...explored my body...licked-sucked-swallowed & had his fill...wen satisfied he left...I was hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO
65.
Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
66.
Last nite i wantd u. needed u so badly dat it hurt. wantd 2 taste u. i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u. u stupid..PARACETAMO
67.
NEWSFLASH...scientists have made a breakthrough & discovered that the female gender carry intelligent cells. Unfortunately 95% of them spit it out!
68.
chicken and egg in bed, chicken has head on pillow smoking.
69.
Egg rolls over pissed off saying "i guess we answered that question"
70.
I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!
71.
I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !
72.
Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.
73.
Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.
74.
Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !
75.
Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.
76.
The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!
77.
What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!
78.
The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places
79.
Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!!!
80.
What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!
81.
A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !
82.
God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *
83.
Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!
84.
What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to stand, his luggage stays outside and he still gets off ...
85.
Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!
86.
Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!
87.
Sex is like Nike, just do it.
88.
Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
89.
How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??
90.
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
91.
Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
92.
Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!
93.
What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!
94.
Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
95.
The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.
96.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
97.
If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
98.
Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness
99.
The difference between erotic and perverted:
100.
Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
101.
Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.
102.
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....
103.
What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!
104.
you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!
105.
What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!
106.
Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
107.
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises
108.
Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...
109.
What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"
110.
There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!
111.
Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.
112.
What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet
113.
If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.
114.
American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand
115.
sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)
116.
A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.
117.
Zwaai uw tieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond, stop 4 vingers in je kut, ram die kittelaar tot frut, bevredig je met een gans, dit is de mastrubatiedans.
118.
Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good!
119.
mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.
120.
Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.
121.
The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.
122.
Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!
123.
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!
124.
Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ................................. no?...................................... Bungler !
125.
By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become unnecessary.
126.
Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.
127.
Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between
128.
Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!
129.
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration
130.
SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.
131.
Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
132.
Sex is good sex is fine.doggy style or 69.just for fun or gettin paid every1 likes getting laid!So txt me bak & wiv sum luck ull earn urself a scrumptious f**k
133.
I like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your ass!
134.
Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
135.
I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
136.
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
137.
Of all the babes ur my selection please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are clean for ur
138.
Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
139.
Being a student is so much fun.wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues.if u be my teacher in how tongues flex.we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!
140.
Roses are red.voilets are corny.when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
141.
Sex is evil and evil's a sin.but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck i
142.
Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned it into nylon
143.
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
144.
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
145.
Mary had a little lamb its coat was full of fleas and what more is that the little cunt had foot and mouth disease
146.
little miss druggy sat in her buggy smoking an ounce of weed along cam a spider skinned up beside her and sold her a kilo of speed
147.
little jack horner satin his corner licking his girlfriend dry.he stuck in his tongue- licked out some cum and said fuck this is better than pie.
148.
Hickory dickory dock.dis bitch woz suckin me cock.da clock struck 2 i dumped me goo & dropped her at da end of da block!
149.
Twinkle twinkle little rectum.big cocks cum when you least expect them.never mind the screams of passion.pop it up her doggy fashion!
150.
Mary had a little lamb she kept it in da backyard.wen she took her panties off his wooly dick got hard!
151.
Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore.Humpty Dumpy spunked on the floor and all the kings horses and all the kings men bent the bitch over and fucked her again!
152.
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater.had a wife & liked to beat her.smacked her twice around da head. F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
153.
Jack & Jill went up the hill 2fetch a pale of water.we dont no wot they did up there but they came back wiv a daughter
154.
Mary Mary quite contrary trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
155.
Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed Den made a grunt- It sure aint u.u ungly cunt!
156.
Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
157.
if my right leg was thanksgiving and my left leg was christmas, would you visit me between the holidays?
158.
Id fuck u sitting id fuck u lying, if u were a bird id fuck u flying.
159.
And when ur dead and long forgotten ill dig u up and fuck u rotten
160.
How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??
161.
Sex is just like Sprite Obey your thirst
162.
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good
163.
love is a name,sex is a game,forget the name and play the game
164.
sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.
165.
Fuck is good, fuck is funny. All the people fuck for money. If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and save and save your money
166.
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. A kiss ain't a kiss without a tongue. So open your mouth and close your eyes and give your tongue some exercise
167.
MEAN people suck, NICE people swallow
168.
being a dick ain't easy. I have to hang around with 2 nuts, my closest neigbour is an asshole and my best friend a pussy. and everytime I get exited, I throw up.
169.
A GIRL ASKS: why cows seem depressed wen being milked?
170.
TEACHER: if every morning at dawn they rubbed your boobs 4 two hours n
171.
don't fuck u, HOW WUD U FEEL?
172.
there was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
173.
There is hot -sex fast -sex group-sex safe-sex telephone -sex and for people
174.
with your face no sex
175.
RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well
176.
creamed.Cake done when banana soft!!!
177.
sex is good, sex is fine, dogy style or 69, just 4 fun or getting paid, every1 loves getting laid, so if u want me in ur sack, lick ur lips and txt me bak!!
178.
Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!
179.
God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *
180.
Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
181.
sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's destanation. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
182.
The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
183.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
184.
yum yum bubble gum stick it up your mothers bum if it sticks pull her tits and out come her weetabix
185.
Hikery dikery dock this bitch was sucking me cock, the clock struck 2 me squirted me goo, den wiped me cock on her frock!!!
186.
**WARNING** EATING PUSSY IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH COZ IT'S 5%URINE, 1%ACID 2%FAT, 2%WET & 90% ADDICTIVE!!
187.
Eat me, beat me, bite me, blow me, suck me, fuck me, very slowly, if you kiss me don't be sassy, use your tounge and make it nasty!!!!
188.
Back2Back, Front2front, On the table, Lik the cunt, Stick it in, Do you thing do it hard & make her sing, Tense ur body, Feel ur cum, Then let it rip in her bum!
189.
A girl looks at a mans tatoo: NIKE on his arms: REEBOK on his legs: she screamed when she saw AIDS on his penis! "Relax" he said, if it erects, it reads ADIDAS!
190.
Peaches r sweet n so r plums. I have a degree in playing with tongues. you be my teacher in how tongues can flex. Then we'll both get a degree in hot oral sex :)
191.
I ONCE HAD A one-2-one WITH A virgin, SHE TEASED ME TILL I GOT AN erikson, SUCKED ME TILL MY FACE WENT orange, TILL I BUSTED MY LOAD OF siemen OVER HER nokias!
192.
Wen a pussy drips red, dont sigh n zip up or even cry.wen a timid man cals it quits, a REAL MAN shoves it where she shits!
193.
If you erase this message u owe me a kiss, if you save this message u owe me sex, if you send this message 2 anyone u owe me both so when do i collect???
194.
I ONCE HAD A one-2-one WITH A virgin, SHE TEASED ME TILL I GOT AN erikson, SUCKED ME TILL MY FACE WENT orange, TILL I BUSTED MY LOAD OF siemen OVER HER nokias!
195.
Wen a pussy drips red, dont sigh n zip up or even cry.wen a timid man cals it quits, a REAL MAN shoves it where she shits!
196.
If you erase this message u owe me a kiss, if you save this message u owe me sex, if you send this message 2 anyone u owe me both so when do i collect???
197.
When a apple is green it's ready to pluk When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!
198.
CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.
199.
Bad wolf told red riding hood.Lift your top so i can suck your tits.No she said lifting her skirt.Eat me like the fucking book says!
200.
Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.Pass it on to 5 phones & you'll get laid. GO,GO,GO, B4 I BLOW!!
201.
GOVERNMENT WARNING: Eating pussy is dangerous to your health bcoz its 5% urine, 2% period blood, 1% tampondebris, 2% other guys spoof and 90% fuckn brilliant!!
202.
Tips on giving blow jobs: 1. If you do it for lust -SPIT IT 2. If you do it for love-SWALLOW IT 3. But if you wanna show off- GARGLE IT
203.
twinkle twinkle little knob how she likes it in her gob.wen she feels that certain twitch she pulls it out the spitful bitch!
204.
Mary had a little bike her seat was back 2 front & every time she pulled the brakes the seat went up her cunt.
205.
spider spider on the wall.u think ur smart u know fuck all.ur on a
206.
wall thats just been plastered.now ur stuck u stupid bastard!
207.
Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you twat i live in a flat so how the fuck do i know.
208.
jingle jangle silver bangle Im gonna fuck u from every angle.lipsy dipsy laalaa po if u give me a fuck i'll give u a blow!
209.
Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr i've been shagging ALLSORTS!
210.
chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over pissed off saying"i guess we answered that question"
211.
A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
212.
A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
213.
Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut" Mommy:"u mean its small?"Little Girl:"No its salty"
214.
an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl replies- oh shit i think im paralised too
215.
BOY: mummy y u jumpin on daddy MUM:2 flaten his tummy BOY: but mummy it wont work MUM: y? BOY: cos the woman from nxt door cums in da mornin 2 blow him up again
216.
a mad scientist makes a self lubricatin fanny & givs it 2 his wife.she asks "wot am i supposed 2 do with that?" he replies "teach it to cook & den fuck off!
217.
Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in d pool,Rooster starts laughin, Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happy cock theres a wet pussy!
218.
GIRL:y do cows look so depressd wen dey r being milkd? TEACHER:if u got up early every mornin & dey rubbed ur tits 4 2 hours & didnt fuck u wood u b pissed off
219.
Bad wolf told red riding hood "lift up ur top so i can suck ur tits" "NO" she said lifting her skirt.."eat me like the book says!"
220.
MUM: didnt i tell you that if a guy touches your boobs say DON'T & if he touches your pussy say STOP! GIRL: but mum he touched both so i said DONT STOP!
221.
A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter.2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?da 1 wiv big tits!
222.
A little boy goes 2 his mum & says 'mum how do u spell clitoris? she replys go & ask ur dad it was on the tip of his tongue las nte!
223.
A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river but gets its paws wet.den it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigga da sausage da wetter da pussy
224.
MAN:Darling u have the face of a Saint WIFE:u say the sweetest things which saint? MAN:A f***ing St Bernard of course
225.
There woz a young vampire named mabel.whos periods were highly unstable.every full moon shed pull out a spoon & drink herself under the table
226.
There woz a young whore from crew who filled her vagina wiv glue.she said wiv a grin if dey pay 2 get in they'll pay 2 get out of it 2
227.
4 miracles of a woman.Getting wet without taking a shower.Bleeding without getting hurt.Giving milk without eating grass and making boneless flesh hard.
228.
strawberries r sweet & so r plumbs ive got a degree in playing wiv tounges u b ma student in how tounges can flex so we both get a degree in hot oral sex!xxx
229.
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. Lady sitting next asked: R they ur babies? MAN: No i work in a condom factory & these are CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS
230.
Why do women have orgasms during sex???It gives them something to moan about even when they are fucking enjoyin themselves.
231.
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!
232.
4SALE- MY COCK.DONE A FEW KAYS.STIL UNDER WARANTY.TWIN TANKS SHAVED & POLISHED HEAD. SLIGHTLY WORN. 9"INCH STIFF. GOES HARD & FAST.NEEDS HEAD JOB!$50.00...ONO
233.
23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow".dont laff ladies??URE PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE
234.
why do men have their best ideas during sex?..... coz there plugged
235.
into a fuckin GENIUS!!!
236.
If u had sex 365 times in 12 months & u melted down the condoms to make a tyre.what would u call it?........... a f**king Goodyear
237.
girls reaction 2 penis sizes: 9'' ooh shit pain 7'' ooh yes shit 6'' ooh perfect 5''mmmm ok 4'' push more 3'' is it in 2'' just use ur fuckin tongue.
238.
UR NETWORK IS CHANGIN ITS PRICE PLAN.ITS DETERMINED BY UR COC SIZE.AS FROM NOW UR CALLS ARE FREE!!
239.
Im sorry i couldn't take your call or respond to your message... I was at the doctor having a mole removed from my dick.I'll never fuck a mole again, ever.
240.
T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network
241.
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job
242.
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation
243.
When i was a girl i had a little quim.i sat upon my bed & put a finger in.now im a woman & full of grace & charm.I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
244.
CHINESE SUNDAY BUFFET MENU:*chu sum twat *suc mi pork *lic mi clit *tungsum chick *goo in hand *fuc sum now *gulp sum kum *cho kon it "ENJOY UR MEAL!
245.
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
246.
I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!
247.
GOVERNMENT WARNING:Eating pussy is bad for your health coz its 5% urine 3% acidic 2% fat,and 90% addictive!! EAT MODERATELY & ENJOY! XX
248.
Theres a town in Hearts called Tilet n a pub called The Cockwell Inn Lucy Likes lives there her address is - Lucy Likes The Cockwell Inn Tilet Hearts
249.
Why is Sex a 3 letter word? Its easier to spell than... OHMYGODYESNOOSSHITYESDEEPER- YESGODNOPLEASENOSHITYESOH- SHITFUCKNOYESYESYESSHITOH.
250.
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
251.
i asked god 4a flower he gave me a garden.i asked god 4a tree he gave me a forest.i asked god 4a cunt he gave me your number
252.
Roses are red Veins are blue.theres one in my dick waiting for you!
253.
WOMEN'S PRAYER: As you lay me down to mate.I pray you don't prematurely ejaculate.But if you cum b4 I do I hope your tongue will see me through. Amen!
254.
At the ultimate point of a woman's orgasmic climax what is her asshole normally doing?Drinking down the pub with his mates
255.
A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts.who opens her heart recives love.who opens her legs recieves happenis
256.
I met this prostitute who charges by the inch.no good to me but she'd be a cheep fuck for you!
257.
Q:Why were hurricanes usualy named after women? A:Because when they arrive they are wet and wild.but when they go they take your house and the car.
258.
whats the difference between licking pussy and getting mugged? When your licking pussy you see the cunt coming
259.
Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun.Zippy got silly popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
260.
Sex+drugs+rock+rave.lets get drunk & misbehav.on weed+speed+little e's.wel get drunk & talk2 trees.u only live once & den u die so fuck em all & lets get high
261.
If the sea was vodka & I was a duck Id swim 2 the bottom & drink my way up!But the sea aint vodka & I aint a duck but im stil always drunk so who givs a fuck!
262.
Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy.Is it d gin dat makes u slip in.Is it d rum dat makes u cum!
263.
Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
264.
Whats the closest thing to a womans period?Your salary. It comes once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come everythings fucked.
265.
Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever!
266.
Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!!
267.
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
268.
if u were a drum id bang u.if u were a pig id pork u.if u were a flower id root u.if u were a nail id screw u.but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
269.
Roses are red Violets are pink.im not going down there cos that bloody stinks
270.
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
271.
if u were a drum id bang u.if u were a pig id pork u.if u were a flower id root u.if u were a nail id screw u.but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
272.
Roses are red Violets are pink.im not going down there cos that bloody stinks!
273.
QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend? ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!
274.
A mini's a mini a jag's a jag.but what is a kiss without a shag?
275.
HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies 2 calves 1 ass 1 pussy 1 beaver loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!
276.
There was a young girl from down wick who asked her mum wot is a prick.she said oh Annie it goes up ur fanny & jumps up & down til its sick!
277.
There was a young man from kent.whos dick was terribly bent.to save any trouble he bent it up double instead of coming he went.
278.
Ther once was a mouse called Keith.who circumcised boys with his teeth.it was'nt for leisure or sexual pleasure but to get to the cheese underneath.
279.
There woz a young man named Dave.Who dug a dead whore from her grave.she woz mouldy as shit & missing a tit... but think of the money he saved!
280.
5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b'hind u 4)ur bestm8s a cunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!!
281.
3 advantages of gettin a $50 bill tattood on ur cock: 1- U can play wid ur money 2- U can see ur money grow 3- Ur girl can blow as much money as she wants
282.
U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss 3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
283.
Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of shit!
284.
5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
285.
3 reasons not 2 b an egg 1)it takes 6 minutes to get hard 2)u only get laid once 3)the only person 2 sit on ur face is ur mother!
286.
A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever
287.
A smile is a curve that can Straighten out a lot of things.
288.
Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself. Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late!
289.
If you don't Stand for Something.You will Fall for Everything
290.
Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go wen u want to stay
291.
You might regret what you do- but you'll regret what you don't do SO much more
292.
2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin.2 let go is to learn theres sumthin beyond.2 let go means acceptin reality.2 let go is lovin more coz u only want the best.
293.
If you are the flame you can't be burned
294.
Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is why we call it the present!
295.
Intelligence is like a river.The deeper it is the less noise it makes
296.
People say dat wen luv comes knocking on ur door let it in.But sumtimes luv comes through a backdoor & by the time u notice its on its way out.
297.
God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably because He wants you to look for the other
298.
Some thoughts are better kept unsaid.some feelings are better kept to urself.because love has its way of expressing itself despite the silence.
299.
True love doesnt have a happy ending.True love doesnt have an ending!
300.
If love isnt a game then why are there so many players?
301.
Dont find love.let love find you.That's why it's called falling in love coz you dont force yourself to fall- you just d
302.
If you want me to fall for you- you have to give me something worth tripping over.
303.
u luv coz u weep.u weep coz u hurt.u hurt coz u fail.u fail coz u try.u try coz u need.u need coz u want.u want coz u feel.u feel coz u live.u live coz u luv
304.
Love is like a rose it blossoms then dies
305.
love is not how u 4get but how u forgive.not how u listen but how u understand.not what u see but what u feel & not how u let go but how u hold on.
306.
Love is like quicksand the deeper you fall in the harder it is to get out
307.
It hurts 2 luv sum1 who doesnt giv u d time of day.but it hurts more wen u realize dat sum1 u dont giv d time of day luved u & gave it up coz u luved another
308.
Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart
309.
love can sometimes be magic- but magic can sometimes be an ILLUSION!
310.
U took me in a dark alley, u held my hips, u took my top off, u put ur lips on mine, u tasted me. u loved every second. thank god im only a coke bottle!
311.
HELLO !! this is your mobile.... just wanted to get out of your pocket! the smell next to your balls was unbearable-i think your dick is dead....
312.
You are like a toilet-youre either freé, täken, unävaìlable, éngagéd, out of order, taking the piss, or just full of shit!!
313.
YOU & I do it in BED.. do it in da CAR.. do it STANDING.. do it SITTING.. but its best doin it in LYING DOWN. Dont WE just. . . love . . . . . . . . TXTN (",)
314.
A Baby monkey asked his mother, why are we ugly? Mother said : thank god we look like this, u should see the person reading this message!
315.
Friendship is like peeing in ur pants , everyone can see it but only you can feel the true warmth of it. Thank you for being the pee in my pants. . .
316.
You! I trustd u so much but u couldn keep ur big mouth shut!Y u av tel others my secrt? Uv realy let me down! Pls stp telin ppl dat im so SEXY n GORGEOUS!
317.
pReSs OpTiOn tHeN sELeCt RePLy.NeXt PrEsS oPtIoN aGeN,cHoOsE dIcTiOnArY aNd Go To ENGLISH.tHeN pReSs tHiS 8 NuM:46630364. gWaN FoLoW mA iNsTrUcTiOnz...:
318.
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me... so damn sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made u.... well we all make mistakes!!
319.
YOU & I do it in BED.. do it in da CAR.. do it STANDING.. do it SITTING.. but its best doin it in LYING DOWN. Dont WE just. . . love . . . . . . . . TXTN (",)
320.
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train. Lady sitting next asked: R they ur babies? MAN: No i work in a condom factory & these are CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS
321.
MEN R LIK APACK OV CARDS!U HAV 2LV DM WID AHEART,MARY DM WID A DIAMND,B MOR DN ACE IN BED,CLUB DM OVA DA HEAD,BEARY DM WID ASPAD,AT DA END OV IT AL DER ALJOKERS
322.
How do you piss off an archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask her wot period it came from!
323.
I wanted to send u something amazing,sexy, funny, beautiful.. but the postman told me to get the hell out of the letterbox!
324.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
325.
Ur my Funny, Understanding, Cute,Kind, Intelligent, Naughty,Great, Sweet,Honest, Independent, Truthful friend in short ur my F.U.C.K.I.N.G S.H.I.T. friend
326.
Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!!
327.
What happened 2 the bloke who injected himself with curry? He went into a korma!!
328.
Men r like dogs, they're dopey, loveable + follow u round! But if u don't keep a lead on them they'll either run off or piss up ur leg!
329.
I'm at da police station, they caught me & filed a case agaist me. I'm fucked cos da evidence is very clear, they are charging me wid "POSESSION OF A CUTE SMILE!" HaHa!
330.
A chinese man took his pregnant wife 2 da hospital 2 deliver.The wife however gave birth 2a black baby.The chinese man who wz shocked named him: SUM TIN WONG
331.
The police are looking for a suspect described as sexy, beautiful, intelligent, funny and great in bed. Your safe, but where the fuck will i hide.
332.
wen i send u msgs it dnt mean u ave 2 do da same... U can also send cash, fruits, tea, petrol, pizza, chicken, noodles and other GIFTS....... so start TODAY!!!!!
333.
one day theres a meeting in da forest attended by tiger, horse, lion etc... but the meeting has not been started cos the monkey is reading this.
334.
Warning: you have performed an illegal txin service,this could result in disconnection or a court fine,to avoid further action you must tell me u luv me
335.
Police have found a corpse badly burnt, no brain and a very large arse... Text me back so i know your ok.
336.
u should do 2 things in the morning 1)pray to GOD so u can live 2) have a shower so others can live...
337.
u should do 2 things in the morning 1)pray to GOD so u can live 2) have a shower so others can live...
338.
a fone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection, a picture is a form of rememberance, and choosing me as a friend is a form of good taste...XXXXXXXxx
339.
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
340.
Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together...............................Who? Your bum cheeks!!
341.
At 1st a little Nibble, Then a slow Lick & then a sensous Suck
342.
CADBURY'S CREAM EGG! "HOW DO YOU EAT YOURS"?
343.
Gawd i have found two identical objects a perfect match! My ARSE and YOUR FACE
344.
The NCHS Regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake, could you please report to your local hospital to be put down!
345.
UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet UR 100%nice and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
346.
It goes in dry, it comes out wet, the longer its in the stronger its gets. We can have it in bed, just u & me. ITS NOT WOT U THINK....... its a cup of tea!
347.
I'm at the Police Station.The police caught me & filed a case against me 4 "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2 BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!
348.
ROSES R RED, VIOLETS R BLUE. THE HIGHER DA SKIRT, THE BETTER THE VIEW!
349.
Rememba when u need a fuck, i'll always b here 4 u. Bcoz FUCK = "FRIENDSHIP U CAN KEEP", so promise me dat we will fuck 4ever!
350.
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
351.
There was once a genie who came and asked "Name ur wish", U asked "Make me Gorgeous", Genie replied "I grant wishes not fucking miracles"
352.
Piss the taking is someone that realise u that point this at is it. (Now read it backwards) !
353.
U picked me up,u took me home,u put ur hands around my waist,u took off my top,den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.
354.
R U worried about missing work or being late, we have a deal 4 U. Travel with Bin Ladin Airlines & we will fly U str8 in2 Ur office!
355.
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see.but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.
356.
*In Reality*…. The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person...He's Playing Himself...
357.
People Fall in love not knowin y nor how.Its so special a feelin dat it doesnt require much answers.U just love no matter how stupid u become.
358.
be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart. for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top
359.
Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.
360.
Children playin outside cars can cause accidents.but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!
361.
When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken?
362.
while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along
363.
If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me.
364.
Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks
365.
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature
366.
All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
367.
Wen u smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never stand by u!
368.
if barbie is so popular....then y do u have 2 buy her friends?
369.
I intend to live forever- so far so good
370.
Iv got 2 sit down & work out where i stand!!!
371.
Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!
372.
I didnt kiss ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!!
373.
I would stop eating chocolate.. but I'm not a quitter!
374.
LOVE ME TENDER LOVE ME SWEET,PUT YOUR LIPS AROUND MY MEAT,WATCH ME SMILE WATCH ME GRIN, WATCH MY CUM RUN DOWN YOUR CHIN!!
375.
LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
376.
Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
377.
Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly, popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
378.
Twinkle, twinkle little rectum big cocks cum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.
379.
D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true, 9months l8r he says to hell wiv u, D baby is a bastard, D mother is a whore, Nun of dis wood ev happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
380.
Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky. Is it d brandy dat makes u randy, Is it d gin dat makes u slip in, Is it d rum dat makes u cum
381.
I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
382.
Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
383.
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin? A)a mouth full of cock!
384.
2 DICKS WENT 2 SEE A MOVIE. THE FIRST SAID, I HOPE IT'S NOT A SEX MOVIE SO WE DON'T HAVE 2 STAND ALL THE TIME !!!
385.
Oral sex can b so fine, wen u do a 69, u start 2 shake, moan & quiver, den u cum just like a river, den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!
386.
A mans ocupation is to stick his cockulation up a wommens ventulation to increase the population of the younger generation if u want a demonstation plz lie down!
387.
A Ladies prayer: O holy man, lay down wiv me on ur holy bed, let ur holy pole, enter my fat hole. So dat ur holy water can produce a holy soul. AAHH...MEN.
388.
Man 2 wife- "U have 2 learn how 2 cook darling so we can save money by getting rid of the chef". Wife: "Y don't U learn how 2 fuck so we can fire the driver".
389.
A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!
390.
Im a little girl i have a little thing when i go 2 bed i put my finger in. now i'm much older my thing has lost its charm now it takes 5 fingers and 1/2 a fuckin arm.
391.
the 3 wonders of a woman 1*give milk without eating grass 2*get wet without water 3* bleed for a week without going 2 die
392.
Ur sexy, ur funny, u drive me insane. U fuck me so hard i'm always in pain. Ur sexy voice puts me in slumber. Oh fuck i'm sorry i've got the wrong number!
393.
A Cat &; Rooster Walking Near A Pool. Cat Falls In Rooster Starts Laughing, The Moral Of The Story Is...Where There Is A Happy Cock There Is A Wet Pussy!
394.
Baby please lay and let me pray then I'll make u sway.We can do it in the
395.
bath, even on a path. FUCK that lets do it and just have a laugh
396.
There was a young girl from Wick, who asked h insane. U fuck me so hard i'm always in pain. Ur sexy voice puts me in slumber. Oh fuck i'm sorry i've got the wrong er mum what's a prick, her mother said Tanya it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
397.
id grab u id bite u id really xcite u.id lic u id suc u id totally f**k u.ud b beggin 4 mercy& beggin 4 mor cz f***ing wiv me is neva a bore
398.
Trick me lick me hold me kiss me.touch me tease me come and please me.when im stressed i need a press so come on baby do ur best!
399.
LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
400.
Id fuck you standing Id fuck u lying.If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if u were dead ur not forgotten ill dig you up & fuck u rotten!
401.
ill giv u kisses.ill giv u flowers,ill take u 2 bed & fuck u 4 hours.i promis u dis it wont be a bore.cos 1 nite wiv me & ull be bak 4 more!
402.
Roses are red Pickles are green.I love your legs & whats in between!
403.
lip lockin body rockin.dick suckin all nite fuckin.tongue teasin.hand pleasing.loads of lustin 2 much thrustin.now ur gaggin lets get shaggin!
404.
roses r red poems r corny take me 2bed cos im feelin horny.wen roses r red they r ready 2b plucked.wen i c u nxt ur gonna get fucked!
405.
There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?
406.
The sky is blue the grass is green. the harder i fuck the louder the scream.the louder the scream the harder i fuck.so gimme a ring n u mite b in luck!
407.
Some fannies r tight & fit like a glove.Some fannies r loose & no good 2 love.but the way 4 lovin & keeping u fitter is rollin her over & bangin her shitter
408.
Bak 2 bak front 2 front.on d table lick d cunt.stick it in do ur ting.do it hard & make her sing.tense ur body feel d cum den let it rip into her bum!
409.
Luv me tender luv me sweet rap ur lips around my meat.watch & smile watch me grin watch ur cum drip down my chin!
410.
kneel be4 him suk him slo.oh his c*ck is nice 2 blo.up n down along his knob.nice & gentle wiv ur gob.suk & lik his lovely prick n wen he cums swallow quick
411.
lips 4 snoggin.beds r 4 rockin.clits r 4 caresin.clothes r 4 undressin.ears r 4 licking.tits 4 sucking the clock is ticking so lets get fucking
412.
Sex is real evil.sex is a sin.moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in.it cant last 4eva I no it's a shame.dat 1 night of passion leads to 9months of pain!
413.
Be a lady Not a nun.Open wide and have some fun.Big or small.Thick or thin.Vasline will get it in
414.
Beat me eat me bite my bum.whip me strip me make me cum.suck me fuck me and lick me out.then tickle my nipples until I shout!
415.
boy says i luv u.U beleve its true. 9months l8r he says 2 hell wiv u.D baby is a bastard.D mother is a whore.Nun of dis wood av happend if d rubber hadnt tore!
416.
Shes down on her knees eager to please wiv a throb of his nob in her gob.Wiv a tingle in his belly his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job
417.
Oral sex can b so fine.wen u do a 69.u start 2 shake moan & quiver. den u cum just like a river den u lick it up in vain wipe ur lips and start again!
418.
roses r straight violets r twisted.bend over luv ur about 2 get fisted.roses make me laugh violets make me titter.ur a dirty cunt & u luv it up the shitter
419.
Eat me beat me bite me blow me.suck me fuck me very slowly.if you kiss me dont be sassy use ur tongue and make it nasty!
420.
Let it dribble let it flow.flip me over go real slow.slap me hard den pick up speed.a rite good fuck is what i need
