( Advice)
Dear Dr. Love,
I am gay but I am not out. No one would ever guess I was. There is this guy at work who I am really into, we've talked a few times, nothing deep just casual small talk. When I see him, sometimes I say hi. Most of the time I don't say anything, becase I think he is gay too, but doesn't want to show it for the same reasons I don't. I'm not sure if he is interested in me. How can I show him I am interested in him without saying it in case he is not gay. Hope you understand my situation.
- Chori Chori Chupke Chupke
Dear CX4,
Relationships in the workplace can be very sticky, regardless of sexual orientation. If he works closely with you or plays a role in your performance assessment, I suggest that you not pursue anything romantic. However, if his position does not have any influence over your status at work then I suggest you take it slow and get to know him better socially, before showing any interest. Maybe you can ask him out in a way that does not imply any romantic interest at first. You can make small talk, then ask him if he'd like to join you for lunch or maybe a drink after work. Get to see how much he opens up to you before you let any cat out of any bag. If something, develops and you are not particularly attached to your job, you may want to move on to another place of employment to avoid becoming the center of water-cooler drama.
-Dr. Love
