The tricks to getting what you want and when you want it!
1. It’s Friday night, you are in a bar and you see a guy across a crowded room. What do you do to get him? Sit in the corner of the bar and hope he will make the next move? Hell no! When you are interested in a guy don’t be afraid to smile and try to catch his eye. You have to make him notice you and try to establish a rapport with him. Don’t start winking or he might think you have a nervous twitch or, worse, some kind of mental disorder.
2. The next step is always a bit harder. Who makes the next move? Be the predator and think of him as your prey. He is the meat and you want it! Think of it as a game of cat and mouse – only you are not the mouse, and I’m definitely not talking about a pussy either. Think of yourself as a wild cat who hasn’t eaten for days. Position yourself closer to him and check out who he is with.
3.If he is by himself, offer to buy him a drink and start chatting with him. Easy. See a boyfriend? Get ready to split up that happy little home and be the home-wrecker you have always wanted to be – or at least entertain the idea of a threesome. Either way, it doesn’t matter if he`s single or out of bounds because you are ready to mess with his mind! Fantastic.
4. Still want the guy? Get yourself a drink. But don’t drink too much. We don’t want him thinking you are an alcoholic who, by the time you get home, won’t be able to move, let alone have sex, except when you need to throw your dinner up all over his brand new bathroom. Not a good look.
5. Engage in conversation and show an interest in what he does. Find a common ground that you both share and pay him a compliment. If you can’t relate to him, or if he happens to be ruddy perfect, then just lie through your teeth. If he is boring as hell, then get ready to hit the bottle and drink yourself sober in the morning.
6. Body language is now the key. Try to make the encounter personal. Grab him by the cock and ask him if he is cut or uncut! That way you know what you are getting before you waste any more time.
7. Ask him out and offer to take him away from the social arena of drug and drink establishments that permeate the gay scene (in other words, back to yours, where you have a bottle of vodka waiting to finish the night off with before hitting the sack).
8. Find out what he likes in bed. But make sure that, as soon as he walks into your bedroom, you get his kit off and tell him what to do before he has a chance to get what he wants. Remember it’s all about you. After all, you made all the moves!
9. The next day is always hard. Depending on how good he was, or how little you remember, you can say your family are coming up to see you in half an hour and they don’t know you are a gay. If you are camp, remember to lower that voice and make sure you take down the pictures of studs on your wall and the picture of your current/ex-boyfriend.
10. It’s Saturday and you can do it all over again. Now you have the guide to perfect happiness and finding true love in your relationships with men on the gay scene. Good luck and please write in telling us of your experiences and what works for you!
