The year of 1995 was an interesting one. I lost my
virginity in oh so many ways. I had a girlfriend, and I was totally into
her, thats another story......... This story is about defining manhood.
I also lost my innocence that summer( march to end of april ) in Genting Highlands , Malaysia . A room mate, of sorts, taught me more
than I bargained for. We had been out to a concert with lots of friends
that night, but in the end, all that remained were the two of us. I suppose
I should have known what I was in for when he crawled into my bed that
night, but either it was the booze, or just plain ole' curiosity that
started the ball rolling. I was dressed only in my boxers, he climbed in
with a t-shirt and tighter boxers of his own.
Laying on my back, I was half passed out, half trying to stop the room from
spinning, when I felt his hand on my crotch massaging my 7.5 " dick. I was in no position to protest when he slipped his hand between the whole in the front of my
shorts, and grabbed my manhood. Strangely, I had no objection to him doing
as he pleased. I quickly became hard as a rock like never before , and he began to jack me
off. I have to admit, I was liking it. Then, all of a sudden, his mouth had
replaced his hand. I was liking that even more. In my stupefied state, I
remember thinking that I owed him somehow. Pleasure him as he was pleasing
me now. For some reason, I was an asshole, and didn't return the favor. I
guess I was a little freaked out , to be honest I didn`t know what to do , i frozee and I didn't take the opportunity to please him this minute, because I was
about to shoot a load, and into a MAN !! I came for what felt like
forever, and he gulped down every drop. Sobering up rather quickly, I rushed
off to the toilet, and cleaned up. He pretended to go to sleep, but I knew
better. I went outside for a smoke, to clear my head. Sitting outside,
naked, having just been blown by a man, and enjoying the event -- even
feeling "guilty" for not having gotten him off, I smoked my smoke. Not
knowing what to do after the second cigarette, I went back upstairs, and
back into the bed!!! I lost my nerve when he slowly put his had on my ass,
and began massaging my glory hole. I got scared and fled, into another
room, for the rest of the night. We didn't talk much about it the next day,
or any day for a long time to come, but my world had gotten more confusing,
I had been molested, and I liked it. But the thing is
There were times when I dared to think it. I loved him--as a friend with my
head, as a comrade with my heart, but also in a different way. It was lust,
and it was because he was a man. At times in the summer we would sit in our
shorts, Indian-style, playing cards or checkers. I'd watch on the sly as the
pink head of his manhood poked through the bottom of his cut-offs. (I always
wondered if he did that on purpose, seeking an edge in the game, sensing my
concentration would be elsewhere!) I stored the sight away in my mind, as
fuel for my fantasies. I could not tell him any of this. As open-minded as
he was, it still seemed a risk too big to take. Life without his touch was
hard, but life without his presence was unthinkable,( we never meet after the year since it was our last year in the university) .
