1)
Positive-thinking poem:
Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye
U don’t worry u don’t cry,
U just thank God that,
Cows do not fly
Always b positive
2)
Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.
But..
makhi nahin uri,
Sardar ne kaha,
Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diye
jain to makhi sun nahin sakti
3)
Boy:Tum mujh se shadi kro gi?
Girl:Nahi
Boy:Laikin Q?
Girl:Meray ghar walay nhi manain gay
Boy:Ghar main kon kon hay?
Girl:1 Husband aor 3 bachay
4)
Hum apko dekhne ki chahat rakhte hain,
Aapki har baat dil me chupaye rekhte hain,
Najane kub AAP T.V per aa jayen,
Isi liye din raat Cartoon Network lagae rekhtay hain..
1 makhi ganjay k sir per ja bethi,
Dosri makhi nay kaha,
“Wah kia ghar mila hai tujhey”
Pehli makhi boli:
“Kahan yaar, abhi to sirf plot kharida hai”
5)
Hum doston ko bohut buri saza dete hain,
Wah wah..!!
Irshad Irshaad..!!
Hum doston ko bohut buri saza dete hain,
Joota nahin maartay,
bus
Moza sungha dete hain…
6)
Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives
“Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service”.
7)
Never kiss a police woman.
she ‘ll say stop and handsup.
Never kiss a nurse she
will say next plz. Always kiss a teacher.
She ‘ll repeat it 10 times.
8)
Khofnaak andheri raat k sannatay main
ek bhoot dosray bhoot ko samjhra raha tha:
bhai ghabra mat, ye sub tere dimagh ka waham hai,
pathan wathan kuch nahin hote.
9)
Life is like a MOVIE…
If u r sad - DRAMA
If u r afraid - SUSPENSE
If u r angry - ACTION
When u look at the mirror - HORROR
10)
Who‘s hot… Its U,
Who‘s
Charming… Its U,
Who‘s
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who‘s
Intelligent… Its U,
Who‘s dear & near friend… Its U
Who‘s a liar.. Its me
11)
Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri,
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere,
Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye,
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye….
12)
Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.
Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!
Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!
13)
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!
14)
Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..
Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha
15)
A pakistani man goes for fishing, catches a big fish.
Comes home and askks his wife to cookthe fish.
Wife says she can’t as there is no gas, no electricity,
no atta(floor) and no cooking oil to fry it in.
Man goes and puts the fish back in the river.
Fish comes up to the surface and shouts
Bangladesh Zindabad”
16)
A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus
He wrote:-
“Drive Carefully!
Don’t kill the students,
wait for the Teachers”
17)
Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
18)
Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
19)
Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
“50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys”
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
“50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys”
The Sardars Celebrated.
20)
Memon ka beta apni girl friend
k sath date maar ker ghar aaya
to baap nay pocha,
kitnay paisay kharch karey?
Beta: Rs.50.
Baap:itne saray kion??
Beta: us k paas itne hi thay.
21)
1 memon k ghar ko aag lag gai,
woh ghar ko bacha nahin saka,
guess kion?
because wo sari raat fre brigade
walon ko miss calls marta raha.
22)
1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched
MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain
23)
Macher ne 1 admi ko din main kata,
admi ne kaha:”tum to rat main kat’tay hona?”
Macher bola,”ghar k halat kharab hain over time ker raha hon.”
24)
Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR
25)
In Bangladesh survey was done:
How many girls want to meet with Saquib
Survey repot
5% says yes
0% says no
95% says kuhawab maat dikhao
Humari aise kismat kaha
26)
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study
27)
Kadam kadam pay hawa ki simt ka dihan rakhna,
Mushkil waqt main dosti ko yaad rakhna
“Hamari yadoon ki khushboo zaror aye gi tumhain”
.
.
.
bus apni NAAK SAAF rakhna.
28)
Mushraf ki niyat
“Niyat karta hoon 2 molvi marne ki.
6 rocket fire farz.
Wasty bUSH uncle k.
Muon mera Jamia hafza ki tarf”
29)
Musharaf Reema ka haath pakar kar bola:
“Aao kamray mein chalain”
Reema; “Ki faida, wardi tey tu lani nai”
30)
Premika premi se: main maa Bannay wali hoon.
Premi: kya baat kar rahi ho yum hosh me to ho.
Premika: haan
Premi: Magar ham nay tou kabhi kiss tuk nahin kari
Premika: haan mai tumhare daddy se shadi kar k
tumhari maan banane wali hoon..
31)
Ek din bhagwan sharab peeny
zameen per aa giya 50 boltle peenay
k baad dukan wala bola
“ap ko charti nahi hay?”
bhagwan: main bhagwan hun
Club wala: charh gaye salay ko :)
32)
jo jita wo sikandar
jo haare wo jail ke Ander,
jo sms bheje us ko jadu ki jhappi,
jo na bheje usko
BANDAR ki pappi…..
*****
((@..@))
( * )
33)
Samandar Bhar Syllabus Hota Hai
Nadi Bhar Parh Pate Hein
Balti Barh Yad Rehta Hai
Chuloo Bhar Number Ate Hein
Jis Mein Hum Doob Jatey Hain
34)
Husband - tum kon hoo
Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye
HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai
35)
Khud ko kar buland itnaa K,
“Himaalaya ki choti pe jaa pahunche”
Aur khuda tujhse puche, >
“Abe sale gadhe. ab utrega kaise”
36)
Aankhon Me Sharafat,
Chaal Me Nazakat,
Dil Me Sachai,
Cheray Par Safai,
Isi Liye Tou .
.
.
.
.
Har Larki Aap Ko Pyar Se Kehti Hai
“BHAI”
37)
Ek LARKI Ki DUA
Kasam Se Her Larkay Ko Bhola Dongi,
Sabhi Ki Tasveren Jala Don Gi,
Ek Tum Hi Raho Gay Is Dil Mein,
Balance Dalwa Do Tumhy Dua Doun Gi
38)
Ek din Wife aur Husband mandir se
niklay to ek faqeer ne kaha:
Shehzadi 5 rupay dede, andha hon
Husband:Dedo,Tumhe Shehzadi
kaha hai to zaroor andha hi hoga
39)
Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt,
Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt…
iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain,
Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain..
Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay,
Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay.
40)
Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?
41)
Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..
42)
Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam
43)
Ek sardarni ko labour pain ho raha tha,
sardarji uneh ‘PIZZA HUT’ le ja rahe tha .
Kisi ne pucha hospital kyo nahi jate,
to sardarji bole “oye u don’t know
delivery is free in PIZZA HUT.
44)
Wife:
suno ji doctor Ne mujhe aik maheenay k araam k liye
beautiful foreign country janay ko kaha hai.
Hum kahan jayen gay?
Husband: doosray doctor k paas
45)
Ek ladka ek ladki se ishara karke kehte hai
“jhalak dikhlaja jhalak dikhlaja”
Larki chappal nikaal k kehti hai
“ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaja aaaaja ………”
46)
Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai
47)
Subha Sham Teri Yaad Avay Hay
Aur Saari Raat Jagavay Hay,
karnay ko tu kar lon call tujhay magar…….
customer center ki larki balance low bataevay hay:
48)
1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya
Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya,
Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga.
Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua?
Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya
49)
Dil Se Dil Lagakar To Dekho
Hamari Yaadon Mein Aansoo Bahakar To Dekho
SMS To Kya Call Bhi Karoonga
Ek Baar Mere Mobile Ka Bill Chukakar To Dekho
50)
Hamain Tumse Piyaar Hai…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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HAAN…!
.
.
.
.
.
Aye pyaray watan (BANGLADESH) Hamain Tumse Pyar Hai….
51)
Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto
“Dard-e-bhutto”
“Dard-e-bhutto”
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"
ha koi muqabla karne wala
52)
Ek admi chupke se jannat main chala gaya
farishto ne pakar kar buhat mara
admi utha aur bola
“Tum logoin ki in hi harkaton ki waja say
koi banda janta main nahin aata”
53)
AAj ke friends I TELL U,
Kitne busy WHAT DO U DO,
Koi mujhe bole I MISS U,
Koi mujhe bole NO TIME 4 U,
Kash koi mujh se kahy
oh my dost/ i am just free 4 u
54)
A
B
C
D
A-AATRACTIVE
B-BEST
C-CUTE
D-DEAR 2 ME
E
F
G
E-EXCELENT
F-funny
G-GOOD LOOKING
H
I
J
H- HA HA HA
I- I M
J- JOKING
55)
Rule of boys:
“Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata,
suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata,
kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni,
dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata..
56)
A pathan said to his friend:
“mujhy smajh nahi aati k log
maheena maheena kaisy nhi nahatay?
Mujhy to 28vein din kharish hona shuru ho jati hai”.
57)
1 Ghar mein TWINS paida huwe to saas ne kaha:
mubarik ho! bhala bataao..
hamare pakistan ki halat daikh kar
bache bhi duniya mein akele ane se darte hain.
58)
You are a DOG…
D = Darling
O = Of
G = Girls
Now u r smiling na?
Am i right??
Tu sach mein kutta hai
59)
Husband apni wife ka janaza le ker ja raha tha.
Jana k aag 1 kutta or pche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta he,”Bhai yeh sab howa kaise?”
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha meri biwi ko…
Aadmi: Yeh kutta ek din k liye mujhey dedo
Husband: peeche line mein lag jao…
60)
Boy: BUS aur LARKI
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.
Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain….
61)
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
62)
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
63)
Aaj kuch ghabraye se lagte ho,
Thand mein kapkapaye se lagte ho,
Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,
Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho
?Good Morning?
64)
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?
65)
What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?
A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.
66)
Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D
67)
I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I’m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
“You are so beautiful”
68)
Think Big.
Think Positive.
Think Smart.
Think Beautiful.
Think Great.
I know, that is too much for u,
so here is a shortcut.
JUST THINK ABOUT ME!
69)
Exams ka saya hai,
exam ke dino mein sukh kisne paya hai?
duniya wale kehte hain ache number lo,
par inhe kaun samjhaye yeh to moh maya hai!!
70)
Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari
blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!
