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eNGLISH KONYOL - humoria



eNGLISH KONYOL
Story One

Ane kaget banget kemaren ini pas lewat di
depannye kelurahan, ngebace
spanduk nyang isinye:
"SAVE THE COUNTRY, HANG TNI ... SAVE THE
PEOPLE, HANG POLRI"
Usut punye usut, ternyate nyang dimaksud ialah:
"Keselametan negare, tergantung TNI ...
keselametan rakyat, tergantung
POLRI".
Bujubuneng ..., rupenye si Lurah baru ikutan
kursus bahase Inggris tapi
udah nekat buat tampil ...

Story Two

Seorg supir lagi nyetirin boss bule Amrik,
kebetulan lagi sial. Mobilnya
nyodok kendaraan di depannya krn mendadak
berhenti. Dgn terbata2 ia minta
maaf kpd si boss "Sorry Sir, I brake brake, do not
eat. After I check the
wheel no flower again." (Maaf pak,saya rem2
nggak makan, setelah saya cek
rodanya nggak ada kembangannya lagi.)

Begitu si Boss mau ikutan ribut sama yg ditabrak,
dia bilang: "Don't follow
mix, Sir! The bring that car if not wrong is the
children fruit from
manager moneys, he stupid doesn't play! Let
know taste." (Nggak usah ikut
campur Pak! Yg bawa mobil itu kalo nggak salah
anak buah dari manajer
keuangan, dia memang goblok bukan main! Biar
tahu rasa.)


Besoknya si supir gak masuk kerja, terus pas
lusanya dia masuk si boss
bule nanya "Why you're not coming?"
Supir : "I am sorry boss, my body is not delicious,
my body taste like
enter the wind." (Maaf boss, badan saya tidak
enak, badan saya rasanya
seperti masuk angin.)

Story Three

Suatu hari ada bule kehilangan sepeda motornya
yg dia parkir didepan toko
di sekitar jalan Malioboro, Yogya. Lalu dia
bertanya ke Paijo, yg saat itu
kebetulan berada di tempat parkir, apakah dia
ngeliat org yg ngambil
sepeda motornya. Jawab Paijo "Yes, he use to
table square-square. Worth he
fast-fast go without any wet expire." (Iya, dia pakai
ke-meja
kotak-kotak. Pantes dia cepat-cepat pergi tanpa
basa basi.)

Lalu dengan sok berwibawa Paijo
menasehati, "Sir, different river, if park
bicycle motor heart-heart, yes?" (Tuan, lain kali
kalo parkir sepeda motor
hati-hati ya?). Tapi bule itu diam saja karena
nggak tau mau jawab apa,
sehingga Paijo jadi ngedumel, "Basic bule!"
(Dasar bule!)


Karena nggak tau harus ngomong apa lagi, si
bule ngeloyor pergi dan dengan
PD-nya Paijo bilang, "Breasttttt!" sambil
melambaikan tangannya. Maksudnya
"Dadaaaaa!"


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