A catholic priest was summoned to the Vatican for a three week
meeting.Unfortunately,the only substitute was a young priest with no
experience whatsoever.
"I feel up to the challenge Father",he said,"but I am not sure about
how to run the confessional.What form of pennance do I prescribe for
the various sins I will be confronted with?"
The experienced priest left him a list coordinating sins and
pennance,and reassuring the young man,he left for Rome.
The young priest's first confessional was soon upon him,and he was
quite nervous as he stepped into his booth clutching the list his
predecessor left him.
"Forgive me father,for I have sinned.I have had impure thoughts about
a woman I work with."came the first voice.
Nervously the young priest checked his list:
Impure thoughts: see also Adulterous thoughts, Disrespective
thoughts,Murderous thoughts and found that 4 hail Marys were
appropriate.Relieved,he prescribed the pennance and waited.
"Forgive me father,for I have sinned,"said the next person."I took $50
from my employers desk!"
The young priest looked to his list again,and immediately found:
Stealing: $10 - 10 hail marys,$100 - 20 hail Marys,$1000 - 50 hail
Marys,$10,000 - 80 hail Marys and five rosary prayers.
After assigning the appropriate pennance,the young priest calmed down
and felt confident in his list to provide him with the appropriate
answer.He waited a while until the next confessor arrived.
"Forgive me father,for I have sinned."said the next person,"I was
buttfucked by another man!"
The young priest again consulted his list.To his dismay,anal sex was
not listed.He checked rectal intercourse - nothing.Homosexual
experience also showed nothing.He couldn't even find it under
butt-fuck,ass-fuck,bottom,arse,everything he looked for was somehow
absent from his list.
Finally,he grabbed a choir boy,who just happened to be walking by.He
asked quite hurriedly,as he knew the confessor was waiting.
"What does the priest give for a butt-fuck?"
"Oh,sometimes a Mars,sometimes a Snickers!"
