1. If you regularly use the phrase "window treatment",then,Miss
thing,you're a Queen.
2. If your kitchen drawer contains a shrimp deveiner,a mushroom
brush,or a lemon reamer(oh that word!) then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
3. If you know what a sconce is,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
4. If you have a pet named "Liza","Gypsy",or "Tallulah",then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
5. If you know how to spell Barbra's first name,then,Miss thing,you're
a Queen.
6. If you've never felt the need to use barbra's last name,then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
7. If you know whether Rogers or Hammerstein wrote the music,then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
8. If you'vr ever cancelled a date because it conflicted with the Tony
or Academy Awards,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
9. If you know the difference between "seafoam" and
"celadon",then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
10.If you've ever been to a professional football game,spent the whole
time watchin' cheerleadres,and critiqued their performance,then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
11.If your Christmas stocking as a child contained bronzer or a
moisturizer,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
12.If your mother calls you for decorating tips,then,Miss Thing,you're
a Queen.
13.If the names Jeff Stryker,Ryan Idol or Casey Donovan mean anything
to you at all,then,Miss thing,you're a Queen.
14.If you know exactly where you were the night that Judy,Ethel or
Lucy died,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
15.If Special K means something to you besides breakfast,then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
16.If you talk in italics,then,miss Thing,you're a Queen.
17.If you've ever needed a massage because you'd overworked your
eyebrows,then,Miss thing,you're a Queen.
18.If you know a guy who swears that his brother-in-law was the
admitting doctor in the emergency room when Richard gere came in with
a gerbil up his butt,then,Miss hing,you're a Queen.
19.If someone says,"How 'bout them Bulls?"and what you think of are
petite picado in tight pants,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
20.If you require two syllables to say "please",then,Miss thing,you're
a Queen.
21.If at eight grade dances you were the only boy who could stay on
the beat,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
22.If you still can't get over the fact that Sunday in the Park with
George lost out to La Cage aux Folles in nearly every category in the
1984 Tony's,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
23.If you know what Lyle waggoner,Sam J.Jones,Christopher
Atkins,Fabian,and Thommy Chong have in common,then,Miss thing,you're a
Queen.
24.If you display in any public forum a reproduction of Michelangelo's
David,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
25.If you've ever trimmed your pubic hair to make "it" look
bigger,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
26.If by the time the bus has arrived at your stop,you've given every
other passenger a"fashion score",then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
27.If you'd sooner skip a day at the gym than show up in a workout
ensemble that just didn't match,then,honey,you ARE a Queen.
28.If you're the only male sibling in a family of ten and grandmother
left you the Limoges,then,miss Thing,you're a Queen.
29.If you can think of more than five uses for a doily,then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
30.If you know who Dorothy gale is,then,honey,you might be gay.
31.If you've ever bought a pair of jeans because they gave you a nice
"basket",then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
32.If you've ever turned when someone yelled,"Hey,Mary!",then,Miss
thing,you're a Queen.
33.If you've sworn never again to get drunk and do your Bette Davis
impersonation,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
34.If you used adverbs before the age of two,then,Miss Thing,you're a
Queen.
35.If the idea of a car-parts store with the name "Ellis the Rim Man"
makes you giggle,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
36.If you've ever coiffed so aggressively that you drew
blood,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
37.If you've ever sent anything in black latex as a gift,then,Miss
Thing,you're a Queen.
38.If you've ever asked for a sweat towel at the gym,but accidentally
said,"cum rag" instead,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
39.If your home decor encompasses more than one kind of
Chippendale,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
40.If your dog is smaller than a bread box,then,Miss Thing,you're a
sick Queen.
41.If to you the antonym for "no" is "fabulous",then,Miss Thing,you're
a Queen.
42.If you've ever entered a house and audibly admired the
wainscoting,then,Miss Thing,you're a Queen.
43.Have you ever said,"Whatever",but only used your hands to form a
"w" to say it? I added this one!! hehehe
YES ANSWERS:
Over 40 - Queen of the ball(and you live in NYC!)
Over 35 - Gayer than Quentin Crisp
Over 30 - sassier than Rip Taylor
Over 25 - Nathan Lane!
Under 24 - Honey,you're not hanging out with the right people!
You know you're a queen if...
