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*HUMOR OM DIE KAMPVUUR* - maaksoworsie



*HUMOR OM DIE KAMPVUUR*
*HUMOR OM DIE KAMPVUUR*
KOM SIT OM DIE VUUR EN DEEL N GRAP OF 2 MET N GOEIE SIN VIR HUMOR. JUL IS WELKOM OM N GRAP OF 2 NA 082 513 6090 TE STUUR EK SIT DIT MET GRAAGTE OP.
313 Comments:
SA gaan opgradeer word wittes word superwit,kleurlinge word wit&swartes word kleurlinge.Nou betoog die bobejane,hul wil nie k×ffers word nie.
28.07.2006 00:52 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy kom by die huis,kry jou vrou en pel in bed.Wat doen jy? Skiet jou vrou.Beste pelle is skaars...
28.07.2006 00:48 EDT, *SHREK*
As n mens ouer word is dit baie belangrik om fiks te bly.Ouma het 5km n dag op 65 begin stap sy is nou 97 en niemand het n fokken idee waar sy is nie!
28.07.2006 00:44 EDT, *SHREK*
Daar is n nuwe parfuum met n geheime bestanddeel-dit laat n man dink hy kan n vrou onderhou as hy die reuk ryk.
28.07.2006 00:39 EDT, *SHREK*
Blond bel die brandweer en se haar huis is aan die brand.Die man vra: "Oky hoe kom ons by jou uit?"Sy se: "Hellooo!! met die fokken rooi lorrie!
25.07.2006 01:08 EDT, *SHREK*
Toets jou IK:Koring word gesaai,hoender word gebraai,oes word gemaai,meisies van 18 word ge...gewoonlik 19 sies!
25.07.2006 01:02 EDT, *SHREK*
V: Wat is die toppunt van suinigheid? A: As iemand in die reen om die snelweg ry en elke keer wanneer hy onderdeur n brug ry,sy ruitveers afskakel.
25.07.2006 00:54 EDT, *SHREK*
Die juffrou kom tydens pouse op een van die kinders af wat vreeslik gesigte trek vir die ander leerders.Juffrou:"Sannie toe ek klein was,het die mense vir my gese dat jou gesig vries as jy sulke lelike gesigte trek en dan vir altyd so bly"Sannie: Dan kan juffrou nie se dat niemand juffrou gewaarsku het nie.
25.07.2006 00:49 EDT, *SHREK*
Man op grens skryf aan sy vrou,v.v.v.Vrou ontsyfer voeltjie verlang vreeslik.Sy skryf terug v.v.v.v.v.v.v.voeltjie verlang verniet,vreemde voels vreet vreeslik.
23.07.2006 14:38 EDT, *SHREK*
Weet jy wat dit beteken om tuis te kom na n man wat wag om jou aandag en liefde te gee en wat altyd luister en verstaan? Jy's in die verkeerde huis!
23.07.2006 14:33 EDT, *SHREK*
Koos verkoop horlosies.Is die horlosie waterdig vra n klant? Een honderd persent se Koos.As die water eers in is kom dit nooit weer uit nie!
23.07.2006 14:29 EDT, *SHREK*
Die blondine bestel n pizza.Toe die kelner haar vra of hy die pizza in 6 of 12 stukke moet sny,antw.die blonde: "In 6 stukke,asb. Ek sal nooit 12 stukke kan opeet nie.
23.07.2006 14:23 EDT, *SHREK*
Van 20-35 is n vrou se borste soos perskes mooi,rond en sag.Van 35-50 soos vye te sag en bietjie misvorm.50-65 soos uie as jy daarna kyk wil jy huil.
20.07.2006 00:59 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoe ruil n ryk,bedorwe meisie n gloeilamp om? "Pappa,ek wil n nuwe woonstel he!"
20.07.2006 00:55 EDT, *SHREK*
V: Hoekom duur dit langer om n blonde sneeuman as n donkerkop te bou? A: Omdat jy die blonde 1 se kop eers moet uithol.
20.07.2006 00:47 EDT, *SHREK*
Vrou aan haar man wat die huis met modderskoene binnekom "Om te dink ek het die grond aanbid waarop jy geloop het!"
20.07.2006 00:43 EDT, *SHREK*
Ek sukkel so bietjie finansieel.Kan jy dalk help asb?Nie eens meer geld vir petrol nie! Moes weer vandag my kar drankwinkel toe stoot.
18.07.2006 00:44 EDT, *SHREK*
Dear God,pls make sure all those people who don't care 2 phone or sms me,don't get any SEX 2nite...
18.07.2006 00:41 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy moet vir 3 outjies aandete voorsit: n hond,n gay ou en n anoreksiese persoon.Wat voer jy hulle? EPOL,POEPOL EN FOKKEL!
18.07.2006 00:38 EDT, *SHREK*
I'M BUSY,YOU ARE UGLY,HAVE A NICE DAY!
18.07.2006 00:34 EDT, *SHREK*
FEITE OOR DIE WAP: EK: Staan wap op,Rook wap,Bad wap,Eet wap,Drink wap,Ry wap,Werk wap,Inkopie wap,Ontspan wap,Kuier wap,Gaan slaap wap,EK IS...WAP VERSLAAAAF!
17.07.2006 00:55 EDT, *SHREK*
V: Waarmee vlieg n moderne heks? A: Stofsuier.
17.07.2006 00:49 EDT, *SHREK*
As ek jo nou op n bed kry kak jy! Ek is lus vi jo! Ons gan di hele matras op fok di springs lat skiet & di bed breek! So wat se jy is jy lus vi n KVSSING FIGHT!
17.07.2006 00:47 EDT, *SHREK*
Die blond en n ou vry.Die ou se: "Sjoe as ek geweet het jy's n maagd,het ek my tyd gebruik" Blond: "As ek geweet het jy't tyd,het ek my sykouse uitgetrek!"
17.07.2006 00:43 EDT, *SHREK*
V:Waarom vertel mans so baie leuens? A: Omdat vroue so baie vrae vra!
16.07.2006 00:19 EDT, *SHREK*
V:Hoe weet jy watter 1 is die blondine op die begrafnis? A:Die 1 wat sing: "Lank sal hy lewe"
16.07.2006 00:09 EDT, *SHREK*
Die seuntjie kom die huis binne terwyl hy droewig huil en sy agterstewe vryf."Wat is fout,boetie?"vra sy ma besorg."Pappa het sy duim met die hamer raakgeslaan,"se die seun snikkend" Maar dis nie iets om oor te huil nie,"troos sy ma" Jy moet daaroor lag. "Met n bewende stemmetjie antw.die knapie"Ek het!
16.07.2006 00:06 EDT, *SHREK*
Jannie is 10uur die oggend al terug by die huis van skool. "Waarom is jy nou al terug?"vra sy ma. "Die meneer en juffrou het gaan braai,"vertel Jannie."Braai? Op n Dinsdagoggend wanneer hulle moet werk? Hoe weet jy dit?"vra sy ma."Meneer het vir juffrou oor die interkom geroep en gese sy moet haar rooster bring.Toe kom ek maar huistoe,want ek weet hoe lank vat n braai"
15.07.2006 23:56 EDT, *SHREK*
As ek jou nou op n bed kry kak jy! Ek is lus vir jou! Ons gaan die hele matras op fok die springs laat skiet & die hele bed breek! So wat se jy is jy lus vir n Kussing Fight?
15.07.2006 00:02 EDT, *SHREK*
DIE NUWE STEM:Uit die diepte van lokasies,uit die skemer van die bos,kruip die giet-swart bliksems nader,om te bedel van ons kos.In ons goed versorgde parke le die donners bedags en gaap,om te roof en plunder later,as die witman le en slaap...Ons moet antwoord op ons menswees,ons moet offer wat hul vra.Maar ons sal lewe hul sal sterwe,fok die nuwe Suid-Afrika!
14.07.2006 23:57 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die definisie van n slak? n Bolletjie snot met n valhelm.
14.07.2006 23:48 EDT, *SHREK*
Mans het net 2 emosies...of hy is honger of hy is jags! So as jy n man raakloop sonder n horing,gee hom tog n broodjie!
14.07.2006 23:46 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy weet wat is menstruasie? Jy weet wat is masturbasie? Oky,jou fokken slimjan...wat is mensturbasie...?Draadtrek tot die bloed loop!
14.07.2006 00:09 EDT, *SHREK*
IF MY DOG LOOKED AS UGLY AS YOU,I'D SHAVE IT'S BUTT AND TEACH HIM TO WALK AROUND BACKWORDS.
14.07.2006 00:05 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat noem n mens kinders wat in hoerhuise gebore word? Brothel sprouts!
14.07.2006 00:01 EDT, *SHREK*
I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND I'M DYING 2 SEE U.BUT THIS.THIS...THIS FUCKEN SECURITY GUARD AT THE ZOO WONT LET ME IN WITHOUT A TICKET!
13.07.2006 23:59 EDT, *SHREK*
Maraai loop straat-af met n matras op haar kop.Gatiep vra: Wa'gat djy met djou furniture? Maraai: Hierie is g'n funiture nie. Dis my workshop!
13.07.2006 00:07 EDT, *SHREK*
WHY DO COWS LOOK SO DEPRESSED WHEN BEING MILKED? IF SOMEONE WOKE YOU UP EARLY,RUBBED YOUR TITS FOR 2 HOURS AND DID'NT FUCK YOU,YOU'D BE PISSED OFF TOO!
13.07.2006 00:04 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy's my warra umang gwarra errie cherrie poepol en pensie gomgat snotneus bakgat vol stront liefdevolle maaikie...En raai wat?Ek like jou nes jy is.
12.07.2006 23:59 EDT, *SHREK*
Morning.I'm the happiness fairy.I've sprinkled happy dust on you.So smile dammite this shit is expensive!
12.07.2006 23:55 EDT, *SHREK*
n K×ffertjie gooi n kg meel uit oor sy kop.Sy ma klap hom en vra: wat de hel maak jy? Hy se: liewe bliksem ek is skaars wit en ek sukkel klaar met julle k×ffers!
11.07.2006 11:09 EDT, *SHREK*
I'M TRYING OUT THIS NEW WINE DIET.....IT'S AMAZING,I HAVE LOST 3 DAYS IN THE 1ST WEEK!
11.07.2006 11:04 EDT, *SHREK*
Koos is besig om n Engelse meisie te spyker....."Talk dirty 2 me" she say."Ok se Koos" Jou ma se p×es.
11.07.2006 11:01 EDT, *SHREK*
VODACOM WOULD LIKE 2 ADVICE U THAT YOUR VIBRATOR IS INTEFERING WITH OUR SERVICE.COULD U PLS CLIMAX OR CONTINUE MANUALLY.WE APPOLIGISE FOR THE INCONVIENIANCE.
11.07.2006 10:57 EDT, *SHREK*
2 Meisies in storte,1 vra die ander,"Hoekom is jou koekiehare so min ek't n welige bos!" Die ander antw: "Het jy al gras sien groei op n besige pad?"
10.07.2006 08:27 EDT, *SHREK*
WOMEN ARE LIKE TSUNAMIS.WHEN THEY COME THEY ARE WILD AND WET.WHEN THEY GO THEY TAKE THE HOUSE,THE FURNITURE,THE KIDS,EVERYTHING!
10.07.2006 08:23 EDT, *SHREK*
Koos is besig om liefde te maak toe die girl n epileptiese aanval kry.Koos jaag met haar na Dr.wat vra: wat's fout? Koos: Ek dink haar orgasme haak vas!
10.07.2006 08:20 EDT, *SHREK*
ZULU: I WAS LOOKING FOR SUMTHING IN MY DAUGHTA'S ROOM & FOUND CONDOMS! SERIAAASSS! I WAS REALLY SHOCKED! EISH! I DID'ANT EVAN KNOW SHE HAD A PENAS!
10.07.2006 08:16 EDT, *SHREK*
LIFE IS LIKE A PENIS.SOME-TIMES UP,SMTIMES DWN,SMTIMES HARD,SMTIMES SOFT,SMTIMES BIG,SMTIMES SMALL,SMTIMES IN,SMTIMES OUT.SO ENJOY PENIS.....OOPS,I MEAN LIFE!
09.07.2006 05:52 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoe maak mens n k×ffer? 1l water,2kg klei,4l teer en 70kg kak.Let op nie te veel kak nie,anders kry jy n SPRINGBOK!
09.07.2006 05:48 EDT, *SHREK*
MEN ARE BORN IGNORANT,NOT STUPID.THEY ARE MADE STUPID BY EDUCATION.
09.07.2006 05:43 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom het die ou nie sy gesteelde kriedietkaart aangemeld nie?Die dief het minder as sy vrou gespandeer.
09.07.2006 05:39 EDT, *SHREK*
WHEN I WAS DOING IT 4 THE FIRST TIME.I WAS SO NERVOUS BUT WHEN THE WHITE STUFF FINALLY COME OUT.I WAS SO EXCITED AAH...IT WAS A NICE EXPERIENCE TO MILK COW.
07.07.2006 11:45 EDT, *SHREK*
Seuntjie aan sy ma: "Ma is dit dan verkeerd om n tottie te he?" Ma se: "Nee boetie-hoekom vra jy?"Want pa is al papnat gesweet soos hy syne probeer afruk!
07.07.2006 11:39 EDT, *SHREK*
WHAT STEPS WOULD YOU TAKE IF A MADMAN CAME RUSHING AT YOU WITH A KNIFE? GREAT BIG ONES.
07.07.2006 11:35 EDT, *SHREK*
"Hierdie hoender het n snaakse smaak,"se die blondine se man. "Wel,dit het gebrand,"se sy,"toe besluit ek om sommer vaseline aan te smeer"
07.07.2006 11:32 EDT, *SHREK*
WOMEN'S PRAYER: "DEAR LORD,I PRAY FOR WISDOM 2 UNDERSTAND MY MAN,LOVE 2 FORGIVE HIM,PATIENCE 4 HIS MOODS CAUSE IF I PRAY 4 STRENGTH.I'LL MOER HIM 2 DEATH.
05.07.2006 23:47 EDT, *SHREK*
Sannie: "Ek kan nie besluit of ek n jong of n ou man moet vat nie" Marie: "Kies die jong een.Hulle word in elk geval nooit volwasse nie.
05.07.2006 23:41 EDT, *SHREK*
Ek en my man gaan of n hond koop of n kind he.Ons het nog nie besluit of ons die matte of ons lewe wil laat verwoes nie.
05.07.2006 23:37 EDT, *SHREK*
WHEN I WAS BORN,I GOT THE CHOICE OF BEING GOOD IN BED OR HAVING AN EXCELLENT MEMORY....BUT IF....FUCK I FORGOT WHAT I WAS SAYING NOW......
05.07.2006 23:34 EDT, *SHREK*
Seun: "Wat is die verskil tussen doos en koek?"Pa:"Onder die sterretjie op playboy is n koek,en die 1 wat dit daar geplak het is n doos!"
04.07.2006 23:34 EDT, *SHREK*
THE REASON THERE ARE SO FEW FEMALE POLITICIANS IS THAT IT IS TOO MUCH TROUBLE TO PUT MAKE-UP ON TO FACES.
04.07.2006 23:29 EDT, *SHREK*
Onnie:"Jannie hoekom was jy nie gister by die skool nie?"Jannie:"Ek weet nie,Meneer.Ek het nog nie my ma se verskonings briefie gelees nie"
04.07.2006 23:26 EDT, *SHREK*
4 MOST IMPORTANT WORDS IN LIFE: CHEAT,LIE,STEAL,DRINK.IF U CHEAT,CHEAT DEATH.IF U LIE,LIE ABOUT UR AGE.IF U STEAL,STEAL SOMEONE'S HEART & IF U DRINK,HAVE 1 ON ME!
04.07.2006 23:22 EDT, *SHREK*
43% Vroue se hulle het groot dose,12% se hulle het klein dose-die res se hul gee nie om nie,hulle sou in elk geval met hom getrou het.
04.07.2006 12:57 EDT, *SHREK*
25 USELESS THINGS ON A MAN: 20 NAILS U CAN'T HAMMER,2 TITS U CAN'T MILK, 2 BALLS U CAN'T THROW AND 1 COCK THAT CAN'T CROW.DON'T LAUGH LADY,YOUR PUSSY CAN'T CATCH MICE!
03.07.2006 08:35 EDT, *SHREK*
Meisie leer golf speel toe n by haar steek.Sy stap vies terug klubhuis toe vir hulp.Die klubchamp sien haar en vra: Wat nou? Sy: n By het my gesteek! Hy: Waar? Sy: Tussen die eerste en tweede gaaitjie.Hy: Dan maak jy jou bene te wyd oop as jy speel.......
03.07.2006 08:29 EDT, *SHREK*
TWO UNEMPLOYED PADDYS IN KILBURN SEE SIGN IN POLICE WINDOW SAYING 'TWO BLACKS WANTED FOR RAPE'PADDY SAYS TO HIS MATE 'FUCKING NIGGERS GET ALL THE BEST JOBS!'
03.07.2006 08:22 EDT, *SHREK*
Ma:"Jannie,is dit jy wat die papegaai so leer vloek het!?" Jannie: "Nooit,ma.Ek het dan juis vir hom vertel watter woorde hy nooit mag gebruik nie."
03.07.2006 08:17 EDT, *SHREK*
HOW DO YOU TEACH A GIRL MATHS? ADD A BED,SUBTRACT HER CLOTHES,DEVIDE HER LEGS,ENTER YOUR SQUARE ROOT,LEAVE YOUR SOLUTION AND HOPE SHE DOESN'T MULTIPLY.
30.06.2006 13:34 EDT, *SHREK*
Bush vra Mbeki:hoekom is julle tronke so vol? Mbeki se: die bliksems hoop om soos Mandela volks held te word.
30.06.2006 13:30 EDT, *SHREK*
ON 40TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY,HUSBAND LOOKS AT THE WIFE'S PUSSY AND WEPT,SAID 40YRS AGO I FELT LIKE EATING THIS THING BUT NOW LOOKS LIKE IT WANTS TO EAT ME.
30.06.2006 13:25 EDT, *SHREK*
n Getroude ou word gevra: Praat jy met jou vrou nadat jy seks gehad het? Die getroude ou antw: Dit hang af of daar n telefoon in die omgewing is!
30.06.2006 13:19 EDT, *SHREK*
ENGLISH PRIEST GETS AFRIKAANS INTERPRETER (KOOS) TO ASSIST HIM IN PREACHING TO AFRIKAANS COMMUNITY.PRIEST:"LADIES & GENTS.I'M NOT HERE TO DENY YOU,BUT TO APPEAL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!" KOOS (INTERPRETS): "DAMES & HERE.EK'S NIE HIER OM JULLE TE NA×I NIE,MAAR EK WYS SOMMER MY PI×L VIR DIE SPORTS!"
29.06.2006 12:29 EDT, *SHREK*
Jan: Koos,hoekom skop jy elke keer jou vrou as jy gesuip is? Koos: Man die interdik verbied my om haar te slaan,nou skop en trap ek haar maar!
29.06.2006 12:19 EDT, *SHREK*
A CHINESE MAN GETS INTO BED WITH A PROSTITUTE & NOTICES HER CLEAN SHAVEN POKIMON & EXCLAIMS "WHY NO WOOL?" SHE REPLIES "U COME TO FUCK OR U COME TO KNIT?"
29.06.2006 12:16 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy't nie dalk n vinnige resep vir n paptert vir my nie....of....toemaar ek stamp sommer gou n blond voor n bus in.
29.06.2006 12:11 EDT, *SHREK*
WHAT DO WOMEN USUALLY SAY AFTER SEX?-I LUV U? WRONG!-THAT WAS GREAT? WRONG AGAIN!!-I LUV IT? WRONG AGAIN!!! THE ANSWER IS: "WER IS MY PANTIE?"
27.06.2006 23:40 EDT, *SHREK*
Dokter aan sy vroulike pasient: "Jy lyk verskriklik swak en uitgeput. Het jy jou meals three times a day geeet soos ek aanbeveel het?" Vrou: "Dokter! Ek het gedog jy se three males a day!"
27.06.2006 23:36 EDT, *SHREK*
JAMES BOND WALKS INTO A BAR AND SITS NEXT TO A BEAUTIFUL LADY AND SAYS: "BOND,JAMES BOND" SHE LOOKS AT HIM AND SAYS: "OFF,FUCK OFF"
27.06.2006 23:30 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die hoogste vorm van wensdenkery? n Muis met n ereksie,wat op sy rug afdryf in die Vaalrivier en skree: "Lig die brug,lig die fokken brug!"
27.06.2006 23:26 EDT, *SHREK*
IT MAY TAKE MANY NAILS TO BUILD A CRIB,BUT ONE SCREW TO FILL IT!
26.06.2006 23:40 EDT, *SHREK*
2 Arm oumense gaan see toe.Tannie maak vir oom swembroek van meelsakke,Oom kla: Bokoma agter op is oky,maar hy hou nie van die self raising voorop nie!
26.06.2006 23:38 EDT, *SHREK*
U R A VERY SPECIAL PERSON.PLEASE DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING EXCEPT UR UNDERWEAR EVERYDAY!
26.06.2006 23:34 EDT, *SHREK*
Man aan sy vrou op hul wedding night.Is jy seker ek is die eerste man met wie jy slaap? Die vrou antw: Natuurlik.Met die ander was ek heelnag wakker!
26.06.2006 23:31 EDT, *SHREK*
MY SECRET FANTASY IS TWO MEN AT ONE TIME.........ONE COOKING AND ONE CLEANING!
26.06.2006 13:03 EDT, *SHREK*
Springbok afrigter gaan man strippers in die span sit,sodat die agter ry meer balls te sien kry.
26.06.2006 12:58 EDT, *SHREK*
MEN R ALWAYS WHINING ABOUT HOW WE R SUFFOCATING THEM.PERSONALLY I THINK IF U CAN HEAR THEM WHINING U RN'T PRESSING HARD ENOUGH ON THE PILLOW!
26.06.2006 12:51 EDT, *SHREK*
FEITE OOR MANS: Waarom geskied psigoanalise vinniger by n man as n vrou? Hulle hoef nie eers na hul kinderjare terug te keer nie.Hulle is reeds daar.Waarom het mans n skoon gewete? Omdat dit nog nooit gebruik is nie. Hoekom kan mans hul gevoelens so goed wegsteek? Omdat hulle geen het nie.Hoekom weet n vrou dat haar man haar verkul? As hy skielik twee keer per week begin stort.
26.06.2006 12:44 EDT, *SHREK*
WHY IS SPERM DONATION MORE EXPENSIVE THAN BLOOD DONATION? B'COZ IT'S HANDMADE......
24.06.2006 14:31 EDT, *SHREK*
Neurotiese mense bou,lugkastele.Psigotiese mense woon daarin.Psigiaters ontvang die huurgeld!
24.06.2006 14:28 EDT, *SHREK*
THIS IS MAGIC! PRESS 12 TIMES & YOU'LL SEE SANTA'S DICK AT YOUR AGE......AND YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA? APRIL FOOL!
24.06.2006 14:25 EDT, *SHREK*
Dom Danie besluit om die bank te beroof.Hy loop na die kassier,pluk sy pistool uit,rig dit op die kassier en se: "Gee my al jou geld of jy is Aardrykskunde." Die kassier lag en se: "Jy bedoel seker Geskiedenis." "Kyk"se Danie boos,"moenie jy nou die vak staan en verander nie."
24.06.2006 14:21 EDT, *SHREK*
YEARS AGO,I CAME IN 2 THIS WORLD NAKED & SCREAMING.MY GOODNESS, HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED! NOW WHEN IM NAKED SOMEBODY ELSE DOES THE SCREAMING!
23.06.2006 01:42 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy's my koei se moo,my spook se boo,my burger van spur,my kitty se fur,die gas in my coke,die smile in n joke,die golfbaan se 18de gaaikie, & 1 befokte maaikie.
23.06.2006 01:37 EDT, *SHREK*
A MAN GIVES BLOOD 2 SAVE HIS GIRLFRIENDS LIFE.THEY SPLIT UP AND HE ASKS 4 IT BACK,SHE THROWS HIM A USED TAMPEX AND SAYS: "I,LL PAY U MONTHLY U BASTARD!"
23.06.2006 01:33 EDT, *SHREK*
Gammat sit op die stoep van sy flat toe die lekker chick verbystap bus halte toe.Hy maak'pssst'om haar aandag te trek.Sy ignore hom.n Paar minute later wag sy nog by die bus halte.Weer maak Gammat'pssst'en weer ignore sy hom.n Paar minute later maak hy sommer hard'pssst'! Die lekker chick draai na hom toe en vra: "Hei wat makeer jou.Het d'jy n puncture in jou gevriet?"
23.06.2006 01:28 EDT, *SHREK*
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMEN.....CARESS,EXCITE,CUDDLE,SPOIL,KISS,RUB,TEASE,PAMPER,RESPECT AND LOVE.HOT 2 SATISFY A MAN....."STALLOW"
22.06.2006 02:12 EDT, *SHREK*
Meisies het slotjies en seuntjies het sleuteljies.Elke slotjie het 1 sleuteltjie,maar party seuntjies het loopers.
22.06.2006 02:07 EDT, *SHREK*
AS FROM NOW ALL MINIBUS TAXI'S WILL BE KNOW AS COMPUTERS,THE REASON:THEY HAVE WINDOWS AFTEN CRASH AND ARE DRIVEN BY A FL×PPY WITH A VIRUS.
22.06.2006 02:04 EDT, *SHREK*
n Sesjarige seun gesels met sy pa terwyl die pa n drankie geniet.Seun: Pa,hoekom drink pa so baie? Pa: My seun,waar dink jy gaan jy sakgeld kry as daar nie drankbottels is om te verkoop nie?
22.06.2006 01:59 EDT, *SHREK*
LABOR LAW: DOES AN PENIS DESERVE OVERTIME AND HAZARD PAY? YES,BECAUSE IT WORKS IN DEEP DAMP,HOT AND DARK TUNNELS,OFTEN HEAD DOWN AND MOSTLY NIGHT SHIFTS!
19.06.2006 23:46 EDT, *SHREK*
Mike verseker sy motor teen brand."Wil jy ook versekering teen diefstal uitneem?" vra die agent. "Nee,hoekom?"Wil Mike weet."Niemand gaan tog n uitgebrande motor steel nie"
19.06.2006 23:41 EDT, *SHREK*
IF 2 BRANDYS MAKE U RANDY,CANE KILLS PAIN & WHISKEY MAKES U FRISKY WHAT MAKES WOMEN PREGNANT? A DOUBLE BOLS & A STIFF JOHNNY WALKER!
19.06.2006 23:36 EDT, *SHREK*
n Getroude paartjie was aan die slaap toe die foon lui.Die vrou tel die foon op,luister vir n oomblik,se toe: "Hoe moet ek weet,dis 200km van hier af!" en sit die foon neer.Die man vra: "Wie was dit?" Sy vrou se toe: "Ek weet nie,dit was iemand wat wou weet of die coast clear is........." Ha ha ha! Blond!
19.06.2006 23:31 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat noem jy n koeliem×id wat n afgetreede prostetuut was? Vagina moeg genaai!
19.06.2006 00:28 EDT, *SHREK*
I HOLD UR NECK & BITE U GENTLY I GRAB UR BREAST & TASTE IT GREEDILY.THEN I LIKE LUSTFULLY I SPREAD UR LEGS & FEEL THE H-E-A-T Oohh.....I LOVE NANDO'S
19.06.2006 00:26 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is erger as om verkrag te word deur Jack the Ripper?Om gevinger te word deur Captain Hook.
19.06.2006 00:21 EDT, *SHREK*
LATEST PORN MOVIE RELEASES: POSITION IMPOSSIBLE,STAR WHORES,SHAVING RYANS PRIVATES,FIELA SE KLIT,FORREST HUMP,CLIFF BANGER AND BALHARE VIR N ENKELING!
19.06.2006 00:15 EDT, *SHREK*
Mike & Kallie ry met bakkie & laai n hot hiker op.Sy staan agter op & haar rok waai op.Mike kyk in die spieel se "fok ek het vandag my hare soos n doos gekam!
18.06.2006 05:53 EDT, *SHREK*
I DON'T KNOW WHY I GET PREGANAT SO OFTEN,IT MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE AIR.YES,SAID THE PRIEST,YOUR LEGS!
18.06.2006 05:47 EDT, *SHREK*
Sneeuwitjie het vigs,die 3 Varkies sit in die tronk,Rooikappie is swanger met wolf se kind en Gouelokkies is n lesbian.So wat is nuus daar by jou?
18.06.2006 05:44 EDT, *SHREK*
THEY FIRED ME AT THE FISH & CHIPS SHOP,CAUSE I PUT MY DICK IN THE PATATOPEELER! SHEESH,HOWS YOUR DICK? NO FINE.AND THE PATATOPEELER?NO SHE GOT FIRED TOO!
18.06.2006 05:39 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom is Adam voor Eva gemaak? Want God was nie lus dat iemand hom vertel hoe om sy job te doen nie!
17.06.2006 12:54 EDT, *SHREK*
CHINESE:ME NOT COME 2 WORK,ME SICK.BOSS:WHEN I'M SICK I HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE,TRY IT! 2 HOURS LATER CHINESE CALLED BACK:IT WORKED! ME BETTER! U GOT NICE HOUSE!
17.06.2006 12:52 EDT, *SHREK*
Liewe Heksie en Blommie loop verby n stalletjie met ingelegde gherkins.Heksie: "Haai oe,blommie! Kyk,regte egte ingelegde Ninja Tirtle Toties!"
17.06.2006 12:48 EDT, *SHREK*
ANT & ELEFANT SHARE A NITE OF ROMANCE.NXT MORNING ANT FINDS ELEFANT DEAD.ANT SAYS,1 NITE OF PASSION & I HAVE 2 SPEND DE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE DIGING A GRAVE.
17.06.2006 12:42 EDT, *SHREK*
2 Hotnot m×ide baklei.Gatiep sit eenkant & kyk.Die 1 m×id se vir die ander 1, "Ek skop jou fokken para af!"Gatiep se: "Ag jhere drop hom net na my kant toe!"
16.06.2006 03:11 EDT, *SHREK*
AGES OF WOMEN: 16-19,BRAND NEW,20-28,DEMO,29-36,SECONDHAND,37-45,NEEDS MAJOR SERVICE,46-55,IT'S A REBUILD,56-60,VOETSTOOTS,61-70,WRIGHT OFF.
16.06.2006 03:05 EDT, *SHREK*
n Man bestel n bier.Drink helfte en gooi die res op sy hand.Na 4 drankies vra die barman: "Wat de donner maak jy?" Die ou lag: "Ek maak my date dronk!"
16.06.2006 02:56 EDT, *SHREK*
TV HOST TO BLOND: HOW MANY MEN DO U BELIEVE MUST A WOMEN MARRY? BLOND: 16 HOST: WHY? BLOND:BECAUSE THE PRIEST SAYS 4 RICHER,4 POORER,4 BETTER AND 4 WORSE.
16.06.2006 02:49 EDT, *SHREK*
Jou vriendskap laat my dink aan die 3 Beertjies.Nie dat jy n pels het of na vis ruik nie,maar jy is soos daai klein bliksempie se pap......net reg!
15.06.2006 13:07 EDT, *SHREK*
THE FANNY POEM:THIS IS A HOLE THAT NEVER HEALS.THE MORE YOU RUB IT THE BETTER IT FEELS.BUT ALL THE SOAP FROM HERE TO HELL CAN NEVER REMOVE THAT FUCKIN SMELL.
15.06.2006 13:03 EDT, *SHREK*
FEITE OOR MANS: Hoe kan jy sien of n man gelukkig is? Maak dit regtig saak? Hoe kan jy agterkom of n man toekomsplanne het? Hy koop 2 kiste bier pleks van 1! Hoe oefen n man sy maagspiere? Deur op die strand sy bierpens in te trek elke keer dat hy n meisie in n bikini sien. Hoe sorteer mans wasgoed? Vuil en vuil maar drabaar.
15.06.2006 12:58 EDT, *SHREK*
TOURIST ON SAFARI ASKS THE GUIDE.WHY IS THAT LION LICKING THE OTHER LIONS ARSE.GUIDE SAYS HE JUST ATE A NIGGER AND IS GETTING THE TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH!
15.06.2006 12:49 EDT, *SHREK*
"My skoonma is n wandelende koerant,"kla Piet teenoor sy vriend."Hoekom? Praat sy dan so baie?" "Nee,maar sy verskyn elke dag"
14.06.2006 02:03 EDT, *SHREK*
I HAVE A LITTLE DEMON FLYING AROUND WITH A HAMMER HITTING ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO I MISS.......BE CAREFUL COZ I THINK HE'S GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.......
14.06.2006 01:55 EDT, *SHREK*
Was jy al ooit so babelas dat jy jou draad moes trek om jou hart weer aan die klop te kry?
14.06.2006 01:48 EDT, *SHREK*
VIBRATER AND BANANA SITTING ON BED SIDE TABLE.BANANA SAYS 2 VIBRATER DON'T KNOW WHY U SHAKING,SHE'S GONNA FUCKING EAT ME,NOT U!
14.06.2006 01:45 EDT, *SHREK*
Die ou loop na die girl toe in die bar en vra,"Wil jy magic-magic speel?" Wat's dit,vra die girl?Ons gaan na my huis toe,naai en dan moet jy verdwyn!
13.06.2006 00:20 EDT, *SHREK*
OLD MAN:HOW AM I DOING SWEETIE? PROSTI:ABOUT 3 NOTS.OLD MAN:WHAT'S 3 NOTS?PROSTI:YOU'RE NOT HARD,YOU'RE NOT IN AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOUR MONEY BACK!
13.06.2006 00:15 EDT, *SHREK*
Pa slag n bokkie en maak dit vir ete.Aan tafel wil kinders weet wat hul eet.Pa:Ek gee jul n clue,Ma noem my soms so.Sussie gil,boeta spoeg uit dis doos!
13.06.2006 00:00 EDT, *SHREK*
WOMAN STAND NUDE IN FRONT OF MIRROR & SAYS TO HER HUSBAND:I LOOK HORRIBLE,FAT & UGLY.......PAY ME A COMPLIMENT.HUSBAND REPLIES:YOU EYESIGHT'S FUCKING SPOT ON!
12.06.2006 23:56 EDT, *SHREK*
JOB VACANCY.....WANTED SMALL BLACK BOY TO ACT AS A MUD FLAP FOR A 1998 TOYOTA HILUX 4 × 4 MUST BE FLEXIBLE AND WILLING TO TRAVEL!
12.06.2006 00:07 EDT, *SHREK*
Gatiepie:Djirre,Meraai! maar djy het darem baie spatare op djou bene! Meraai:Nei,dit issie spatare nie,dis net die wiring na my hotplate toe!
12.06.2006 00:04 EDT, *SHREK*
UR 1 OF MY FOVOURITE PEOPLE.AM I 1 OF URS? IF U DON'T REPLY,IT WILL MEAN IM NOT,THEN I'LL SEND 1 OF MY TALLIBAN CONTACTS.HIS NAME IS: ONSSALMASIEN HOEKALYDAN!
11.06.2006 23:48 EDT, *SHREK*
Ek wil u graag bekend stel aan n nuwe wyn,genaamd zoempoes as u dit drink sal u kop zoem en u sal neerpoes!
11.06.2006 23:42 EDT, *SHREK*
WHICH KIND OF KEY OPENS & STARTS CARS,OPENS ANY DOOR,ANY SAFE,ANY LOCK AND ANY GATE?.....A K×FFERKIE!
11.06.2006 01:19 EDT, *SHREK*
Seuntjie vra vir Pa: Pappa,pappa kan ek dieretuin toe gaan?Pa antw:Nee as hulle jou wil he kan hulle jouself kom haal.
11.06.2006 01:15 EDT, *SHREK*
HE DICIDED TO TELL HIS GIRLFRIEND ABOUT HIS SMALL PENIS.IN THE DARK HE TOOK IT OUT,PUT IT IN HER HAND & WAITED FOR HER REACTION: "NO THANKS I DON'T SMOKE!"
11.06.2006 01:12 EDT, *SHREK*
Juffrou vra vir Sipho:Maak n sin met "neem aan" Sipho: "My Ma loop met die koerantpapier in die veld in,sy kan nie lees nie,so ek neem aan sy gaan kak!"
11.06.2006 01:07 EDT, *SHREK*
Dominee besoek ouete huis.Vra wat maak Oom hul hier heeldag,Oom se:seks heeldag dominee.Geskok vra dominee,vertel Oom.Oom se,ons sit,eet,kak en slaap heeldag!
10.06.2006 16:15 EDT, *SHREK*
THERE'S A NEW PILL ON THE MARKET,IT'S HALF VIAGRA HALF PROZAC:SO IF U DON'T GET A FUCK,U DON'T REALLY GIVE A FUCK!
10.06.2006 16:10 EDT, *SHREK*
2 Blonds stap in die bar in.Die een blondien bestel n bloujob en n coke die ander blondien se: bliksem ma dis n lekker bar die gee my some n piel en n pepsie!
10.06.2006 16:03 EDT, *SHREK*
DID U KNOW THAT A BLOWJOB IS THE ONLY JOB IN THE WORLD THAT CAN'T BE INCLUDED IN YOUR CV DESPITE YEARS OF EXSPERIENCE & A NUMBER OF REFERENCES!
10.06.2006 15:59 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die verskil tussen n speedtrap en draadtrek?F......l jy voel ewe kak as jy gevang word!
09.06.2006 01:57 EDT, *SHREK*
2 SAN FRANCISCO CONSTRUCTION WORKERS WERE LEAVING THE SITE AT THE END OF A LONG DAY: "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME" ONE OF THEM SAID. "AS SOON AS I WALK IN THE DOOR,I'M GOING TO RIP MY WIFE'S PANTIES RIGHT OFF" YEAH,I KNOW THE FEELING,THE OTHER GUY REPLIED.NO,I'M SERIOUS,"THEY'RE KILLING ME!
09.06.2006 01:45 EDT, *SHREK*
Vrou aan tandarts: Ek raak eerder swanger as om n tand te laat trek! Tandarts: Dame,besluit asseblief sodat ek kan weet hoe om die stoel te stel!
09.06.2006 01:33 EDT, *SHREK*
HOW WOMEN THINK ABOUT SEX: AT 18 GET IT,AT 28 LOOK,AT 38 ASK, AT 48 BEG, AT 58 PAY,AT 68 PRAY, AT 78 4 GET IT.
09.06.2006 01:30 EDT, *SHREK*
n Man kla by sy girlfriend in n sexy fliek:Skat,die meisie langs my vinger haarself!Girlfriend:Ignoreer haar! Man:Kan nie skat,sy gebruik my vinger!
07.06.2006 15:49 EDT, *SHREK*
BLOND ENTERS STORE ASKING SALESMAN FOR A CURTAIN FOR HER COMPUTER.SALES MAN REPLY-YOU DON'T GET CURTAIN FOR COMP.SHE REPLY:HELLOOO I'VE GOT WINDOWS.
07.06.2006 15:43 EDT, *SHREK*
Die tandmuis kan van my vergeet,die paashaas kan van my vergeet,kersvader kan van my vergeet,maar as jy van my vergeet kry ek hulle al 3 om jou te bliksem!
06.06.2006 17:45 EDT, *SHREK*
Q:WHY DO WHITE PEOPLE GO TO BLACK PEOPLE'S GARAGE SALES? A:TO GET THEIR BELONINGS BACK!
06.06.2006 17:41 EDT, *SHREK*
Die pasient met die middeloor-probleem kan na die operasie weer goed hoor.By die opvolgondersoek se haar man egter aan die dokter: "Ek betaal net die helfte van die rekening.Sy kan nou weer goed hoor,maar sy wil nie luister nie!"
06.06.2006 17:38 EDT, *SHREK*
WOMEN ARE THE BEST MOTORS,THEY ACCEPT ANY SIZE PISTON,ARE SELF LUBRICATED,START UP WITH A FINGER,CHANGES OIL EVERY 4 WEEKS,AND A FULL TANK LAST 9 MONTHS.
06.06.2006 17:33 EDT, *SHREK*
Teen die tyd dat n man n vrou soos n boek kan lees,is hy te oud om n biblioteek te begin.
06.06.2006 17:28 EDT, *SHREK*
SOME GIRLS BEG & SOME GIRL BORROW,SOME GIRLS LEAD & SOME GIRLS FOLLOW,SOME GIRLS BRING JOY & SOME BRING SORROW,BUT THE VERY BEST GIRLS JUST SUCK & SWALLOW!
06.06.2006 17:25 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die definisie van n werfetter? n Haan wat skree: "Valk! Valk!" en as die henne wegkruip spyker hy die kuikens!
03.06.2006 09:20 EDT, *SHREK*
THE ANC HAVE BANNED OMO WASHING POWER BECAUSE IT MAKES WHITES WHITER,COLOURDS BRIGHTER,BUT DOES FOKOL FOR THE BLACKS!
03.06.2006 09:17 EDT, *SHREK*
Mans is net soos n selfoon lastig,as jy hom soek is hy weg,wil jy hom gebruik is hy pap!
03.06.2006 09:14 EDT, *SHREK*
PORTUGUESE MAN ON HIS DEATH BED: MARIA,MY WIFE ARE YOU HERE?YES MY HUSBAND. MY SON,MY DAUGHTER ARE YOU HERE? YES PAPA.THEN WHO IS AT THE FUCKEN SHOP?
03.06.2006 09:11 EDT, *SHREK*
Die taxibestuurder kry n spoedkaartjie van die verkeerskonstabel. "Wat moet ek hiermee doen?" vra hy neerhalend."Hou dit,"antwoord die verkeerskonstabel"as jy vier het dan kry jy n bicycle!
03.06.2006 09:06 EDT, *SHREK*
ANTHONY WAS A DEVOUT CATHOLIC WHO WAS CONFESSING HIS SINS.FOR THE FIRST TIME "I'VE BEEN HAVING IMPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT MY COUSIN",THE BOY ADMITTED. "I PICTURE HER NAKED AND IMAGINE HAVING SEX WITH HER: IS THIS A SIN,FATHER?" YES,INDEED,IT IS A TERRIBLE SIN,ANTHONY,THE PRIEST SCOLDED HIM. "JUST LOOK AT THE TWO BEAUTIFUL BROTHERS YOU HAVE"
03.06.2006 09:01 EDT, *SHREK*
Een sperm aan n ander: "Ek is nou gatvol geswem,hoe ver is daai baarmoeder nog?" Ander sperm: "Nog fokken ver,ons is nou eers verby die mangels!
01.06.2006 09:51 EDT, *SHREK*
3 GUYS WERE DISCUSSING THEIR NICK NAMES FOR THEIR DICKS. "I CALL MINE SOLDIER",SAID THE FIRST GUY,BECAUSE IT STANDS UP THE MINUTE I GIVE AN ORDER "THE SECOND GUY SAID,I CALL MINE GENTELEMAN,BECAUSE IT STANDS UP THE MINUTE A WOMEN PASSES BY" NOT TO BE OUTDONE,THE THIRD GUY SAID,"I CALL MINE GASSIP,BECAUSE IT MOVES FROM ONE WOMAN'S MOUTH TO ANOTHER!"
01.06.2006 09:46 EDT, *SHREK*
Mev. Ford snik en se hartseer aan haar bediende: "Berverly,ek vermoed my man het n verhouding met sy sekretaresse." Ek glo dit nie! se Berverly vinnig terug: "Mevrou se dit net om my jaloers te maak!"
31.05.2006 00:46 EDT, *SHREK*
ZULU: "I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING IN MY DAUGHTA'S ROOM & FOUND CONDOMS! SERIAAAAAS! I WAS REALLY SHOCKED! EISH! DID'NT EVAN KNOW SHE HAD A PENAS!"
31.05.2006 00:39 EDT, *SHREK*
K×ffertjie krap in sy neus,sy ma se: Nee man! Hy se: Ma al die wit kinders doen dit! Sy antw: Ja,maar nie met n fokken lepel nie!
31.05.2006 00:32 EDT, *SHREK*
I WANTED 2 SEND U SOMETHING KIND,ATTRECTIVE & GOOD SMELLING,BUT THE POSTMAN TOLD ME TO GET OUT OF THE POSTBOX!
30.05.2006 00:25 EDT, *SHREK*
Ek is vandag gekies as Voorsitter van die Agri Suid Afrika se sagte vrugte Vereeniging.Ek check net of jy vanoggend al jou gauva gewas het?
30.05.2006 00:21 EDT, *SHREK*
I NEED U 2 PRAY 4 ME.I'VE RECEIVED MY MEDICAL RESULTS & IT'S CRITICAL.......I'M GETTING SEXIER & SEXIER EVERYDAY.BUT U DON'T HAVE 2 WORRY,IT'S NOT CONTAGEOUS!
30.05.2006 00:17 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom word n k×ffer se troukoek van beeskak gemaak? Om die vliee van die bruid af te hou!
30.05.2006 00:11 EDT, *SHREK*
NAUGHTY JOKE:Q: WHAT DO WOMEN AND POLICE CARS HAVE IN COMMON? A: THEY BOTH MAKE A LOT OF NOISE TO LET YOU KNOW THEY ARE COMING.
29.05.2006 14:55 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat kry n dom,stom,dowe,blinde,verlamde,geestelike gefokte,1 arm,geen been,skewe nek,arm k×ffer met vigs en parkinsons vi Kersfees.....? Breinkanker!
29.05.2006 14:51 EDT, *SHREK*
Please don't throw your sigarette ends on the floor,the cockroaches are getting long cancer!
29.05.2006 14:45 EDT, *SHREK*
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Moenie net daar sit nie! Moer die ding dood!
29.05.2006 14:40 EDT, *SHREK*
Blond blaas pypies by n padblokkade en die polisie man se:jislaaik jy het al n paar stywes vanaand in ne? Sy antw: Haai oom,wys die meter dit ook?
29.05.2006 01:06 EDT, *SHREK*
A DAUGHTER ASK HER PROSTITUTE MOTHER,WHAT IS LOVE? THE MOTHER RESPONDS:THAT'S A TERM INVENTED BY SOME ASS HOLE WHO IS AVOIDING PAYING FOR A FUCK.
29.05.2006 00:53 EDT, *SHREK*
Msg: Dokter my man se seksdrang is weg! Mevrou hy moet heuning eet.....Paar dae later.Mevrou gaan dit beter..........? Nee,hy zoem al om die koek,maar steek nog nie!
29.05.2006 00:47 EDT, *SHREK*
2 Deaf,people got married.During they first week of living together,they found it difficult to communicate in the bedroom with the lights off.After several nights of fumbling around,the wife dicided they needed a new system."Honey,she signed,if you want to have sex,just reach over and squeeze my breast once.....if you don't want to have sex,squeeze it twice" Great idea the husband signed back,and if you want to have sex,pull my dick once.If you don-t want to have sex,pull it 150 times!
29.05.2006 00:41 EDT, *SHREK*
Gehoor jy kry nou viagra vir vrouens ook? Dit maak hul bene styf sodat hul langer kan staan en stryk!
28.05.2006 13:51 EDT, *SHREK*
VODACOM SMS: I HEREBY PLACE U UNDER ARREST UNDER VIOLATING CODE 56-DISTURBING THE PUBLIC WITH UR XSTREME SEXY ASS.KEEP SILENT AND REPORT 2 MY ROOM!
28.05.2006 13:42 EDT, *SHREK*
n Kaal moffie draai voor die spieel en bewonder homself.Draai al in die rondte.....voorkant ,agterkant.....voorkant,agterkant.Skielik kry hy n ereksie,klap sy plesier spier speels en se: "Moenie laf wees nie jong,dis onse eie holle daai!"
28.05.2006 13:37 EDT, *SHREK*
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE TO YOU I MAY NOT KNOW ALL UR WORRIES & FEARS BUT IF U NEED HELP.....HERE IS THE BOTTLE......GET SAME GLASSES LETS DRINK!
28.05.2006 13:30 EDT, *SHREK*
Te koop-splinternuwe,volledige stel ensiklopediee.Nie meer nodig nie! Pas getroud! Vrou weet alles
27.05.2006 14:25 EDT, *SHREK*
A PROSTITUTE ASKED A PLASTIC SURGEON TO MAKE ANOTHER HOLE FOR HER. SURGEON WAS SURPRISED & ASKED WHY? ANSWER: BUSINESS IS GOOD & I WISH TO OPEN ANOTHER BRANCH!
27.05.2006 14:22 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom lag mense nie as n k×ffer op n fiets getrap word deur n trein nie? Want dit kan dalk jou fiets wees!
27.05.2006 14:17 EDT, *SHREK*
WE ARE INVITED FOR A SHOOTING RACE IN SOWETO.WE ARE GONNA SHOOT COKE CANS,BEAR CANS AND AFRICANS. ARE YOU GAME?
27.05.2006 14:14 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat as ek verdwyn?×××><><><Nes ek gedink het..........Ek verdwyn en jy speel met jou fokken selfoon!
26.05.2006 23:46 EDT, *SHREK*
WITHOUT HUMOUR LIFE SUCKS! WITHOUT COURAGE LIFE IS HARD! WITHOUT LOVE LIFE IS HOPELESS! WITHOUT SOME 1 LIKE YOU LIFE IS IMPOSSIBLE!
26.05.2006 23:41 EDT, *SHREK*
Jy weet jy word nou regtig oud wanneer jy n asemrowende twintigjarige meisie in n baie kort rokkie sien-en jy meer in haar ma belangstel.
26.05.2006 23:37 EDT, *SHREK*
HOW DO DYSLEXICS HAVE ORGASMS? SCREAM, "OH MY DAY,OH MY DAY-I'M LEAVING!
26.05.2006 23:34 EDT, *SHREK*
SA gaan opgradeer word.Wittes word Superwit,Kleurlinge word Wit & Swartes word Kleurlinge.Nou betoog die bobjane,hulle wil nie k×ffers word nie.
26.05.2006 14:05 EDT, *SHREK*
WE WILL NOW UPGRADE YOUR SEXLIFE,PLEASE WAIT........SEARCHING........SEARCHING........STILL SEARCHING........ERROR:NO SEXLIFE FOUND,SORRY! PLEASE PHONE FOR HELP!
26.05.2006 14:01 EDT, *SHREK*
Toets jou IK: Koring word gesaai,hoender word gebraai,oes word gemaai,meisies van 18 word ge....gewoonlik 19 sies!
26.05.2006 13:55 EDT, *SHREK*
WATS DA DIFFRENCE BETW A 1950 PANTY & A 2000 PANTY? 1950- U HAV 2 OPEN DA PANTY 2 C DA BUM! 2000-U HAV 2 OPEN DA BUM 2 C DA PANTY!
26.05.2006 13:52 EDT, *SHREK*
BORSMATE: A-Is dit al? B-Byna sigbaar! C-Cute! D-Deksels groot! E-Enorm! F-Vals!
25.05.2006 23:39 EDT, *SHREK*
DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR A TOITET,A MAN FOUND HIMSELF IN LADIES TOITET!......LADY SCREAMS!....."THIS IS 4 LADIES!" A GUY SHAKING HIS PENIS SAYS THIS IS FOR LADIES TOO!
25.05.2006 23:32 EDT, *SHREK*
Dr. aan moffie: "Jy,t aids eet rosyne,appelkose,5kg vye en 1 kg brooklax!" Moffie: "Sal ek beter word?" Dr: "Nee sal jou leer waarvoor jou hol in die EERSTE plek bedoel was!"
25.05.2006 23:27 EDT, *SHREK*
FRIENDS ARE LIKE UNDERWARE,ALWAYS NEAR U.GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE CONDOMS ALWAYS PROTECTING U! BEST FRIENDS ARE LIKE VIAGRA LIFT U UP WHEN UR DOWN!
25.05.2006 23:21 EDT, *SHREK*
Navorsers het n soort koek ontdek wat n vrou se seks drang met tot 90% laat verminder in 1jaar.......TROU KOEK!
25.05.2006 14:28 EDT, *SHREK*
GOOD FRIENDS ARE THERE TO BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL,BUT BEST FRIENDS ARE SITTING THERE NEXT TO YOU SAYING,JOU BLIKSEM.....NOU IS ONS IN DIE KAK!
25.05.2006 14:24 EDT, *SHREK*
Die dogtertjie vra vir haar Ma: "Kan ek buite saan met Jannie en sy maats gaan speel?" Haar Ma antw: "Nee,jy kan nie met seuns nie.Hulle is te rof!" Die dogtertjie dink so n rukkie en vra dan: "As ek een kry wat glad is,kan ek dan met hom speel?"
25.05.2006 14:18 EDT, *SHREK*
IF I SEND U A SMS I PLAY WITH UR THOUGHTS NONSTOP,IF I GIVE U A CALL I PLAY WITH UR MIND NONSTOP,BUT IF WE WERE 2GETHER NOW,I'D PLAY WITH UR BODY NONSTOP!
25.05.2006 14:11 EDT, *SHREK*
2 Vliee gaan eet uit.Die 1 bestel kak en knoffel. Selfte vir my asb.bestel die ander 1,maar sonder die knoffel,ek wil nie he my asem moet stink nie!
25.05.2006 01:11 EDT, *SHREK*
WHAT DO YOU CALL A WOMEN THAT WORKS JUST AS HARD AS A MAN.......LAZY BITCH!
25.05.2006 01:06 EDT, *SHREK*
Die man en vrou kry stry op die eensame pad deur die platteland.Hulle ry uur na uur sonder om n woord met mekaar te praat.Maar toe hulle by n plaaswerf verby ry waar donkies en varke loop,vra die vrou sarkasties vir die man: "Is dit nie dalk familie van jou nie?" Ja,dit is,antw.haar man vrolik. "SKOONFAMILIE!"
25.05.2006 01:00 EDT, *SHREK*
NAME 5 GREAT KINGS THAT HAVE BROUGHT HAPPYNESS IN PEOPLES LIVE? DRIN-KING....LICK-KING....SUCK-KING....WAN-KING....& FUC-KING! ISN'T LIFE GREAT!
25.05.2006 00:51 EDT, *SHREK*
Hy: "Waarom dra jy n bra?" Jy het tog niks om daarin te sit nie. Sy: "Jy dra n broek,of hoe?"
24.05.2006 14:16 EDT, *SHREK*
LAW OF CONTRACT FUCKING: ANY FUCK THAT HAS BEEN FUCKED CAN BE REFUCKED IF THE FUCKER & THE FUCKEE AGREE THAT THE FUCK WHICH WAS FUCKED WAS A FUCKING GOOD FUCK!
24.05.2006 14:13 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die verskil tussen n screensaver en n vrou se gesig? Niks nie! Al 2 verander as jy aan die muis vat!
24.05.2006 14:08 EDT, *SHREK*
THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS & UNFAIRNESS IN THE WORLD.....RIGHT NOW 7MIL PEOPLE ARE HAVING SEX! AND YOU?......SHAME YOU'RE READING THIS TEXT!
24.05.2006 14:05 EDT, *SHREK*
Blonde kop dogtertjie sit in haarsalon met n koekie.Tannie se: "Pasop dogtertjie jou koekie gaan vol hare word" Dogtertjie se: "Ek weet Tannie!"
24.05.2006 01:32 EDT, *SHREK*
AFTER READING THE EVILS OF SMOKING,I GAVE UP SMOKING.AFTER READING THE EVILS OF DRINKING,I GAVE UP DRINKING.AFTER READING THE EVILS OF SEX,I GAVE UP READING!
24.05.2006 01:28 EDT, *SHREK*
Baas kla in personeelvergadering hy kry nie genoeg respek nie! Die volgende dag sit hy n bord op sy kantoor deur waarop in groot letters staan: "EK IS DIE BAAS" Later die dag sien hy iemand het n notatjie op die bord geplak waarop staan: "Jou vrou het gebel-sy wil haar bord terug he!"
24.05.2006 01:22 EDT, *SHREK*
RESEARCH SHOWS MEN ARE FATTER COZ EVERY NITE MEN GET FRESH MILK 2 BIG PAPAYAS & 1 PIECE CAKE WHILE WOMEN ONLY GET 1 BANANA 2 PEANUTS & 1 TEASPOON MAYO!
24.05.2006 01:13 EDT, *SHREK*
Toe ek gisteraand by die huis aankom,het my vrou daarop aangedring dat ek haar na n expensive plek toe moet vat. Toe vat ek haar maar na die petrolstasie toe!
23.05.2006 14:59 EDT, *SHREK*
A NEW ROYAL MAIL STAMP WITH A CLITORIS ON IT HAS BEEN WITHDRAWN FROM SALE AS IT PROVED UNPOPULAR WITH MEN.AS ONLY 5% KNEW HOW TO LICK IT PROPERLY!
23.05.2006 14:55 EDT, *SHREK*
3 Klitorisse draf die pad af met Koos agterna,Piet vra: waar gaan hy? Koos se slagpale toe vir nog n tong!
23.05.2006 14:48 EDT, *SHREK*
SEX IS LIKE A PETROL STATION SOMETIMES U GET FULL SERVICE,SOMETIMES IT'S OUT OF SERVICE AND SOMETIMES U HAVE 2 C SATISFIED WITH SELFSERVICE....!
23.05.2006 14:44 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat's die verskil tussen n 40-jaar-oue man en 40-jaar-oue vrou? n Veertig-jaar-oue vrou droom van kinders he! n Veertig-jaar-oue man droom daarvan om hulle te date!
23.05.2006 00:42 EDT, *SHREK*
AN ANXIOUS HUSBAND CALLED THE HOSPITAL 2 ASK ABOUT HIS WIFE WHO WAS IN LABOUR, ACCIDENTALLY HE CALLED THE CRICKET STADIUM.HE ASKED: "HOW ARE THINGS?" HE DIED AFTER HEARING THIS REPLY: "FINE!! 3 ARE OUT,WE HOPE 2 HAVE THE REMAINING 7 OUT BY LUNCH & THE LAST ONE OUT WAS A DUCK!"
23.05.2006 00:36 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die verskil tussen n leeu en n vagina? Albei is koning,maar n leeu laat nie n fok aan hom lek nie!
23.05.2006 00:27 EDT, *SHREK*
ALWAYS START YOUR DAY WITH A LOT OF......SEX! S-MILE,E-NERGY,X-CITEMENT,SO MAKE SEX A DAILY HABIT,AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE SMILING LIKE U ARE NOW.....
23.05.2006 00:24 EDT, *SHREK*
BOO BOO,BIG DICK,HAVE U ANY SPERM? YES MOM,YES MOM 2 BALLS FULL. NONE 4 MY GIRLFRIEND,NONE 4 MY EX,ALL 4 THE HORNY PERSON READING THIS TEXT!
22.05.2006 12:03 EDT, *SHREK*
Het jy gehoor,S.A. het besluit om Irak te gaan help veg! 2 Skepe, 1 met k×ffers en die ander 1 met klippe!
22.05.2006 11:58 EDT, *SHREK*
A MAN GOES 2 THE LIBRARY & ASKS 4 A BOOK ON SUICIDE THE LIBRARIAN TAKES 1 LOOK AT HIM & SAYS "HEY WENA" WHO'S GONA BRING IT BACK?
22.05.2006 11:47 EDT, *SHREK*
Elke keer as ek op die snelweg ry en ek sien n oorbetaalde,stakende,onderwerke regeringsamptenaar in n nuwe Mercedes of BMW,wat ek weet met my hardverdiende,getrou-betaalde belasting gekoop is,spring my moer dwarsdeur my ou,afgeleefde Cortina bakkie se dak!
22.05.2006 11:41 EDT, *SHREK*
A LITTLE GIRL ON A SHINY NEW BIKE STOPS BESIDE A COP ON A HORSE. "NICE BIKE, THE COP SAID" DID SANTA BRING IT 2U? "YEP,SHE SAID, HE SURE DID!" THE COP LOOKED THE BIKE OVER & HANDED THE GIRL A $50 TICKED.THE COP SAID,"NEXT YR TELL SANTA 2 PUT A REFLECTOR ON THE BACK OF IT. "THE LITTLE GIRL LOOKS UP AT THE COP & SAYS, NICE HORSE,DID SANTA BRING IT 2 U? "YEP,"HE SAYS" WELL NEXT YR TELL SANTA THE DICK GOES UNDERNEATH THE HORSE,NOT ON TOPP!
22.05.2006 00:42 EDT, *SHREK*
Die ou het Mrs Right getrou.Hy't net nie geweet sy's altyd reg nie!
22.05.2006 00:24 EDT, *SHREK*
WELCOME TO WWW.SEXY.COM. TYPE PASSWORD S SE SEX SEXY. ACCEPTED NEW MEMBER PROCESSING.....PLEASE WAIT....DENIED! TRY: UGLY.F.
22.05.2006 00:21 EDT, *SHREK*
WHEEEE,EINA HEL! HET SOPAS MY GAT BLOU GEVAL OM VI JUL MORE TE SE!
22.05.2006 00:16 EDT, *SHREK*
FOR A KISS PRESS 1.....FOR A SPANKING PRESS 2.....FOR A MULTIPLE ORGASM PRESS 3..... & IF YOU'RE STILL PRESSING FOR MORE OPTIONS.....YOU'RE FUCKING NAUGHTY!
21.05.2006 12:59 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom werk psigo-analise beter vir mans as vir vrouens? n Man hoef nie terug te gaan na sy kindertyd toe nie,hy's al klaar daar.
21.05.2006 12:53 EDT, *SHREK*
3 REASONS TO TATOO A R50 NOTE ON YOUR DICK. 1:YOU CAN PLAY WITH YOUR MONEY. 2: YOU CAN WATCH YOUR MANY GROW. 3: YOUR WIFE CAN BLOW AS MUCH MONEY AS SHE WANTS!
21.05.2006 12:23 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom betaal mans meer vir kar assuransie? Vrouens kry nie blowjobs as hulle ry nie!
21.05.2006 12:18 EDT, *SHREK*
MAN RUSHES HOME SCREAMING "PACK YOUR BAGS HONEY,I JUST WON THE R10 MIL LOTTO!" WOMEN: DO I PACK FOR THE BEACH OR MOUNTAINS? MAN:WHO CARES? JUST FUCK OFF!
21.05.2006 04:15 EDT, *SHREK*
Brunet: I'm going over to Greece next week.Blond: Ek bly maar by vaseline!
21.05.2006 04:10 EDT, *SHREK*
LATEST PORN MOVIE RELEASES: POSITION IMPOSSIBLE,STAR WHORES,SHAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES,FIELA SE KLIT,FORREST HUMP,CLIFFBANGER AND BALHARE VIR N ENKELING!
21.05.2006 04:07 EDT, *SHREK*
Juffrou gee wiskunde.Jannie,verstaan jy alles? Sjoe, juffrou net so kol-kol! Watter kol verstaan jy nie,Jannie? Fo-kol,Juffrou.....
21.05.2006 04:02 EDT, *SHREK*
MR.BEAN: (CRYING) THE DOCTOR CALLED,MOM'S DEAD.FRIEND:CONDOLENCE,MY FRIEND. BEAN: CRIES EVEN LOUDER. FRIEND: WHAT NOW? BEAN: MY SISTER CALLED,HER MOM DIED TO!
20.05.2006 13:17 EDT, *SHREK*
Bokke se nuwe Volkslied: Ek wil huistoe gaan,na Mamma toe!
20.05.2006 13:11 EDT, *SHREK*
BIG BROTHER HOUSE IN SEWETO,6MEN,6WOMEN.2 WEEKS LATER. 3 RAPED,2 DEAD, ALL THE CAMERAS STOLEN. NOW THERE ARE 98 PEOPLE LIVING IN THE HOUSE!
20.05.2006 13:09 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoekom werk k×ffers so stadig? Want oral langs die paaie is waarskuwings: Don't fool yourself speed kills.
20.05.2006 13:04 EDT, *SHREK*
IF SOMETIMES YOU FEEL USELESS,OFFENDED AND DEPRESSED,ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU WERE ONCE THE FASTEST AND MOST VICTORIOUS SPERM OUT OF HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS....
20.05.2006 07:08 EDT, *SHREK*
Onderste poort gaan hulle proef konyne met k×ffers vervang.Hulle kan dan self hulle hokke skoon maak,teel vinnig aan en jy raak nie so geheg aan hulle nie!
20.05.2006 07:02 EDT, *SHREK*
THIS MESSAGE COSTS 75 CENTS! THAT COULD FEED A BLACK BOY IN ZIMBAAWE FOR A WHOLE DAY. SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 7 OF YOUR FRIENDS AND STARVE THE BASTARD FOR A WEEK!
20.05.2006 06:53 EDT, *SHREK*
Magistraat: Hoekom het jy jou kar op daardie besondere plek geparkeer? Koos: Want die sign het gese fine for parking!
20.05.2006 06:49 EDT, *SHREK*
I CAN CHANGE YOU INTO AN ANGEL.ARE YOU READY? THEN COUNT! :05 :04 :03 :02 :01 // [ . ] [ . ] SHIT..., [ . ---- . ]WHAT ><HAPPEND!
19.05.2006 11:11 EDT, *SHREK*
My selfoon is gesteel. Dit was n Erickson,nou is dit n C×ffersen!
19.05.2006 10:54 EDT, *SHREK*
Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? It's always erect,stays up for 12 days and nights,has cute balls and looks good with the lights on!
19.05.2006 10:52 EDT, *SHREK*
Seuntjie sit saam ouma in bad.Hy vra: "Ouma,wat is dit?" Ouma antw: "My kind,dis my vlermuisie!" Seun kyk en se: "Ag shame ouma,hy't ver gevlieg sy tong hang al uit!"
19.05.2006 10:47 EDT, *SHREK*
BITE THE NECK GENTLY.....CHEW THE BREASTS SOFTLY......SPREAD THE LEGS SLOWLY.....&SUCK THE JUICE EXCITINGLY.......THAT IS THE WAY YOU SHOULD EAT NANDOS CHICKEN!!
18.05.2006 23:59 EDT, *SHREK*
Ouma en Oupa probeer hul seks lewe verbeter en eet kaal ontbyt.Ouma: "Ek kry so warm gevoel in my bors as ek na jou kyk!" Oupa: "Ja,jou tieties hang in die pap!"
18.05.2006 23:54 EDT, *SHREK*
GOT MY NEW RACIST DOG TODAY.IT IS A CROSS BETWEEN A ROTWEILER AND HYENA,IT BITES K×FFIRS AND THEN LAUGHS AT THEM!
18.05.2006 23:50 EDT, *SHREK*
Die baba k×ffertjie kom in die hemel & die engel gee vir hom 2 vlerkies! Is ek nou n engeltjie vra hy? Nee jy's n vlermuis! Fokof!
18.05.2006 23:46 EDT, *SHREK*
A MATHS PROFESSOR ASKED THE BLOND STUDENT: "IF I GIVE U R3 MILLION LESS 9% HOW MUCH WILL U TAKE OFF?" SHE REPLIED: "EVERYTHING SIR,DRESS,BRA & PANTY!!"
18.05.2006 12:56 EDT, *SHREK*
Wat is die mees onvolledigste ding in die wereld? n Man......Hy het tieties sonner melk,n voel sonner vere en sakke sonner geld!
18.05.2006 12:50 EDT, *SHREK*
GOOD PERSON? THAT'S YOU! GOOD FRIEND? IT'S U AGAIN! GOOD TASTE? IT'S ALSO YOU! GOOD LOOKING? AHH....FUCK OFF! THAT'S ME!
18.05.2006 12:43 EDT, *SHREK*
Die seuntjie leer potty train. Die toilet ring val op sy totie.Hy hardloop na sy Ma en se: "Sy moet daar soen!" Ma antw: "Jy moenie met jou Pa se kak begin nie!"
18.05.2006 11:49 EDT, *SHREK*
EMILY MPO FAINTS-SIPHO PHONES AMBULANCE."ADRESS PLS?" "4 EUCILIPTUS ST" "SPELL PLS" LONG SILENCE........."EISH,IF I DRAG HER TO OK ST,CAN U PICK HER UP THERE?"
17.05.2006 23:51 EDT, *SHREK*
Hoe lyk n ryk girl se vibrator? Goud 3 batterye en 3 spoed knoppies! Hoe lyk n arm ene s'n? n Coke bottel met 3 torre in!
17.05.2006 23:45 EDT, *SHREK*
IN MY GARDEN UP A TREE,MAKE HER WET,LICK A CLIT,SUCK TIT,MAKE HER SWALLOW,NEVER SPIT WHEN YOUR DONE,WIPE HER BUM,TAKE HER HOME AND FUCK HER MUM!
17.05.2006 23:41 EDT, *SHREK*
Seuntjie trek sy broek af voor meisie en se: "Whe-whe jy't tog nie 1 van die nie!" Meisie lig haar rok op en se: "Whe-whe met 1 van die kry ek baie van daai!"
17.05.2006 23:37 EDT, *SHREK*
OLD COUPLE ATTEMPTHING TO MAKE LOVE. WOMEN SAYS: "HIGHER,LOWER,A BIT TO THE LEFT,A BIT TO THE RIGHT" HE SAYS: "ARE YOU TRYING TO FVCK ME OR PARK ME?"
17.05.2006 14:06 EDT, *SHREK*
Wolf kom by Rooikappie en se: "Kom hierso Rooikappietjie,ek's lus vir jou!" Ja,se Rooikappie opgewonde,"Eet my soos die storie se......"Ja-nee,en almal het gedink die wolwe huil vir die maan.Eintlik huil hulle as dit ROOIKAPPIETYD is!
17.05.2006 14:01 EDT, *SHREK*
JUST TO GET U SMILING: IF U HAD SEX 365 TIMES A YEAR,WHAT WOULD U DO WITH ALL THE CONDOMS? I'LL MELT THEM,MAKE A TYRE AND CALL IT A "GOOD YEAR"
17.05.2006 13:53 EDT, *SHREK*
Spray and cook.Wat soek die mies? Ek soek daai blikkie spray and cook."O die mies hys hellemal by verkere ry,die spray van die koek is by die Deoderants!
17.05.2006 13:47 EDT, *SHREK*
LAST NIGHT I HAD AIDS (ALCOHOL IN DA SYSTEM) THEN I GOT HIV (HEAVY INTO VODKA) AND THIS MORNING I GOT TB (TERRIBLE BABALAAS)
17.05.2006 01:07 EDT, *SHREK*
Die dronk man kom uit die bar,n Non kom verby hom. Hy klap,skop,trap en gooi die Non neer op die grond en se: "Glad nie so fokken sterk vanaand nie ne Batman!"
17.05.2006 01:03 EDT, *SHREK*
NUDE BODY FOUND ON THE BEACH IN DURBAN.NO TEETH,SAGGY BOOBS.....WORN OUT FANNY....ARE YOU OKEY?
17.05.2006 00:56 EDT, *SHREK*
Hul se dis nogal rustig in die hel deesdae......vandat die Moffies daar is kan die duiwel nie sy gat draai nie.
17.05.2006 00:53 EDT, *SHREK*
MAN ASKS GOD: "WHY U MAKE WOMEN SO BEAUTIFUL?" GOD REPLIES: "SO U CAN LOVE HER" MAN ASKS: "WHY U MAKE HER SO STUPID?" GOD REPLIED: "SO SHE CAN LOVE YOU! BACK"
16.05.2006 11:22 EDT, *SHREK*
Vrou staan in swart panty voor haar lover: "Ek rou nog oor my oorlede man" Lover trek n swart kondoom oor: " Ek wil my diepste meegevoel kom betuig!"
16.05.2006 11:15 EDT, *SHREK*
DOCTOR TO HIS LADY PATIENT: "YOU LOOK WEAK AND EXHAUSTED! R U HAVING YOUR 3 MEALS A DAY AS I ADVISED?" LADY: "BLOODY HELL DOKTOR, I THOUGHT U SAID 3 MALES A DAY!"
16.05.2006 11:09 EDT, *SHREK*


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