Simple Surd Questions & Answers!
Q: How do you keep a surd in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a surd busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How did the surd try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!
Q: What's the difference between a surd and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why can't sardars make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why do men like surd (sardarji) jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: What does a surd say when you ask his if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when U offer a surd a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a surd with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: What do a surd and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: What do you do when a surd throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why did the surd take his typewriter to the doctor ??
A: He thought it was pregnant becaus missed a period.
Q: Why are surds hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can't surds put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: Whats the difference between a Surd and a Supermarket Trolley?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A surd parade.
Q: Guy asked his surd wife "how did you get the car in the living room"?
A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."
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Mallu Interview
A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
So he told her, "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW..... BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number.. ... Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.....
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Kanjibhai's gift to Rupaben.
Rupaben's husband Kanjibhai asked her what she wanted for her birthday.
She thought for a moment and remembering the Diamonds in the Deck of cards said, "This year I just want cold, hard cash for a change."
The following day Kanjibhai filled her request.
He put 200 Rupee coins into a glass jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer.
On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.
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Answering Machine!
A sardarji, having bought a new phone with the latest model of answering machine had to disconnect it the very next day.
He was very disturbed when he heard his friend say, "abey, phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hoon".
Employment!
A desi was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came tothe column Salary Expected. He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
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Heights Of Revenge...!!!!
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. A desi was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja".
After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
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Surd's Love for cricket
Bagga: 'My girlfriend says that if I don't give up cricket she'll leave me.'
Jagga: 'Oh! that's very tough, Right friend?'
Bagga: 'Yeah, I'm going to miss her'.
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English Tuition!
Laloo goes to america for learning english.
After some days George Bush calls Rabri Devi & told her "Ae sasoora angreji nahin seekh sakat hai."
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LaLoo Jokes
What do they call French Toilet in Bihar?
La loo
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Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR"
for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
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Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them
"Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..."
and Laloo immediately replies "Thank you" and puts the phone down.
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Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"
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At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
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After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture.
To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper.
GUESS THE CAPTION
"Laloo, third from left"
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Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very ineficient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
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A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
"Marriage"
