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15 THINGS TO DO AT WAT - MART WHILE YOU SPOUSE / PARTNER IS TAKING THEIR SWEET TIME.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking
2. Set all the alarms clocks in housewares to go off at 5 - minute intervals
3. make a trail of tomato juice of the floor leading to the rest room
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, code 3 in housewares,... And see what happens.
5. Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M & M's on lay away
6. Move a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding dept.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you. Begin to cry and ask why can't you people just leave me alone.
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose
10. While handling guns in the hunting dept. Ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the suspiciously loudly humming the mission impossible theme.
12. In the auto dept. Practice your madonna look using different size funnels
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say PICK ME! PICK ME!
14. When an announcement come over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream NO! NO! It's those voice again!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while, and them yell, very loudly, there is no toilet paper in here
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