Ever since two alien - goat hybrids tried, and failed, to parallel park a flying saucer near roswell, new mexico in 1947, people have been watching the skies. Some of the things they have seen there have caused them fear and alarm, some of them have brought a feeling of awe and oneness with the universe. A few of them have been richard branson clowning around, the git.
Every year, thousands of otherwise rational people, and a far larger number of americans, report seeing strange objects in the sky. sometimes these objects land. sometimes their occupants emerge. sometimes people from north dakota who i wouldn´t trust to tell me the correct time of day get abducted, probed and then appear on oprah to tell all. one can only assume that the aliens are big fans of miz winfrey´s mix of incisive interview techniques and self-effacing-failed-actress manner.
So have they all been watching too much of the x-files? or did they, like most sensible people, give up watching it somewhere around the beginning of season four when what little credibility it had packed its bags and ran off to join the circus? we may never know. but one thing i DO know - the goats are out there, just waiting to invade, supported by their alien allies and their fifth column of sympathisers - mostly farmers with a few reality tv contestants - right here on earth.
I know all this because i´ve been abducted myself on countless occasions, experimented on, taunted and generally persecuted by space goats...
... and this concludes my written application for the post of blasting foreman with the acme mining corporation. thank you for your time and i hope to hear from you soon. yours etc. mr j t hoover esq.
