Hi, i´m charly crazed orgy loving tv star Angus Deayton´s pet chinchilla, Wrinkles. Through a combination of reading certain arcane books and listening to lots of ozzy osbourne albums, i have acquired magical powers. i have used these powers to capture a goat. i have named this goat Agamemnon and keep it imprisoned in a cage in my cellar.
Through the liberal use of threats, taunts, bribes etc i make Agamemnon perform all manner of tricks and stuff for my amusement and the titillation of my guests and friends. My thanks to JimmyTheHoover for giving me the opportunity to occasionally entertain you all with some of these performances.
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lately, i have been mostly urging Agamemnon to dress as a cat. upon its obeying, i promptly release my pack of ferocious bloodthirsty hounds in a Monty Burns-esque way (usually with an evil cackle, i might add) (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
as today is Agamemnon´s birthday, i bought it a shiny new cage and persuaded it to write an essay on how goats are disgusting, lowly creatures and then had it read out said essay in front of a small specially invited crowd whilst wearing a nappy and a silly scarf and hat. (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
Today i have been mainly making Agamemnon perfect its tea preparation skills while at the same time forcing it to wear a jolly bonnet and sing 20s style songs in a ludicrously high pitched voice. (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
Today, i have been taunting Agamemnon by making it listen to now defunct cheesey pop combo steps through headphones and i have been recording its tormented mewling for future amusement (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
i cannot recall exactly how i have been taunting Agamemnon today, as i am slightly tipsy. I know it had something to do with a crash helmet and an anvil... (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
Today, i have had a celebrity guest - blatant cheat and bare faced liar Major Charles Ingram. In honour of my guest, i have been urging Agamemnon to cough dramatically with a sharp stick at my guest´s every utterance. (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
lately, i have been making Agamemnon juggle cacti using its fore legs and erogenous zones. (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
today, i have been mainly... ahem... persuading Agamemnon to sit atop a radiator and ride it like a horsey (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
today, Agamemnon has been regaling myself and others with its performance of the old school favourite I AM A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT while wearing a waistcoat made of old butter wrappers (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
today, i have mostly been using sharp sticks to encourage Agamemnon to dance a rather visually pleasing tango, while it wears a ridiculous hat which may possibly have once been a deerstalker or something. (wrinkles.the.chinchilla)
