Episode 1 : Cannon Fodder
Welcome to ´Sheepass´ the online extreme comedy series which is just different enough from MTV´s ´Jackass´ to stop me getting sued. on our show, all the stunts are performed by goats.
well, not exactly. we cant use real goats JUST IN CASE SOMEONE ENDS UP COMPLAINING AND THE SITE ENDS UP CLOSING. not that anyone would, because none of this is actually real BUT YOU NEVER KNOW. so being forced to use a goat substitute to prevent even imaginary harm to animals, we´ve dressed a couple of winos up in goat costumes instead.
now for tonight´s stunt. we have a cannon, we have a small lake which we filled with starving crocodiles and pirahna fish a few hours ago. our stuntmen will be fired out of the cannon towards the other side of the water. success will mean the chance to lob childish taunts at the competition. failure to make it across will result in almost certain death, and an extremely painful death at that. to be fair though, it WILL look hilarious on camera... join us after these commercials for the thrilling climax to tonights show!
---
bored? german? fancy a giggle? then have we got an offer for YOU! for only 5 euros, that´s FIVE euros, you get the new, exciting ´´500 Classic Moments In German Comedy´ on dvd. this offer is not available in the shops! its the collectors item that everyone´s talking about! 5 euros for 500 great moments of teutonic mirth - over 132 seconds running time, includes the classic ´man wearing lederhosen falls in snow.´ its the offer that you simply CANNOT afford to pass up! get yours today!
---
i´m sorry, but owing to a complaint about a section of this article that hasn´t even appeared yet, we´ve had to postpone this episode´s stunt indefinately and finish the show early. sorry. am... am... is it ok if i say that? oh. oh right... ... ... ... what do you mean we´re still on air?
