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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he had found a cat but it was dead. "how do you know it was dead" she asked. "Because i pissed in its ear and it didnt move" he answered innocently. " YOU DID WHAT" the the teacher exclaimed in suprise.
"You know" explained the kid "I leaned over and went PSSST an it didnt move.
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An exasperated mother whose son was always getting into mischief finally asked him "How do you expect to get into heaven?" The boy thought it over and said "Well i'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the gates until st peter says"
"For heavens sake dylan come in or stay out!"
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It was that time during the sunday morning service for the childrens sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and as she sat down the pastor leaned over and said,
"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your easter dress?" the littleigsl replied directly into the pastors microphone "Yes and my mum says its a b*tch to iron."
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A woman was six months pregnant with her third child. Her 3 yr old daughter came into the room as she was goin in the shower. She said "Mommy you are getting fat!" She replied "Yes honey but remember mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know" she replied " but whats growing in your butt?"
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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of chicken little to her class. She came to the part where chicken little warns the farmer. She read ".... and chicken little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling!"
The teacher then asked the class " And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said "I think he said Holy shit a talkin chicken!"
