march 2005
I went Motibagh.He was there.He came by bike and looking very sexy.There are Very few moments i remember in which he looked so attrective.I dont know why he wanted to chat with me.we chated,chated and chated.We went to the park near Gurudwara.Later i came to know he love to go Gurudwara.He get mental peace there.
He told his name:ROHAN
He said that he cant believe that this innocent guy could get involve in such work!I told him i want to go,but that was false,wrong,i wanted to chat more and more.he insisted that i shouldnt go.I stayed more.I told him that i always want to make good friends and this is also one of the ways.This is not my proffession.He smiled misteriously.At last i came back.i affraid to get involve in any commitment or relationship.I make my point very clear to him: There is no such things like TRUE FRIENDSHIP or LIFE LONG RELATIONSHIPS.I always get hurt whenever i love somebody. so dont expect anything from me.
He said:"i dont want anything from you.LETS HOPE FOR THE BEST.i believe myself.lets see."
I was surprized.why he want me? Is anybody could be so innocent and true in this world?
I thought he needs somebody to fullfill the emptyness in his life.He has his GIRLFRIEND.I asked him,you have Meenakshi,then why You want me? He said : wo apani jagah,tum tumhari jagah.I cant tell her everything,and i can tell you everything.
This is not true.He dont tell me everything.
I told him that whenever i love somebody,i take him granted,then i dont care about his feeelings.BEWARE.
But he smiled again and said: "koi baat nahi."
HE used to call me daily."I am in office,i left my job.my parents want me to join my Buas bussiness.I am at home now,i thought you will worry about me so i called you to tell i am all right.I have BONY.He is my doggy.I have a sister.She also work in south delhi.My father is in export industry.My mother is house wife.I also have Chai ji.She is ill.She is very old."
i used to thought:why he think i bother about him?why he tell me everything? He usually say: AUR BATAAO.
And i say:KYA BATAUN?
He told me: "i have a friend Sachin.He gave me your number.I dont like him.he borrows thing from me and never returns."
I told him to leave him.he is using you.HE agreed.now i feel that he agree about everything but dont follow that thing in prectice.I feel this thing many times.
He told me about Amjad:"i loved him.I used to buy things for him.he is like a family member to me.My family used to say,dont love him so much .He is not good.He is not handsome .But i never heard anybody. i still think he is very Handsome man.He has everything i want in a man.like hairs.Whenever he was angry,main usay manata tha.haath jodtaa tha.uske liye khaanaa le jaataa tha.wo sabke saamne meri beizzati kartaa tha.main kuchh nahi kahataa tha.but one day he left me.i want to know why.He sometimes tell our common friend that he want to talk to me.He called me and start abusing me.Bola,idhar mat aa jaanaa.varnaa peetungaa."
I asked him:"do you still love him?"
He replied: NO
I know this is not true.He still love him.He still live in past.He is his first love.Nobody can replace Amjad,main bhi nahi.
I asked one day:tu kise sabse zyada pyaar karta hai?
He replied:you are at 3rd number.I think he mentioned Bua and PAPA at 1st and 2nd person.
I was happy.I started to feel more close to him by this time.I affraid i could fall in love .He always say : "i love you 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10."
He wanted me to reply in the same manner.i did.but one day he told me Amjad used to say like this.I stoped replying in this manner.Now i only say:"i love you."
He accepted this also.
Sometimes I think He want me as friend only because Amjad left him.Is he using me?
But i dont want to believe this.I used to chat with him 5-6 times in a day.Sometimes i couldnt recive his calls but he never expressed that he was angry about this.
Once i called him from pco.I asked:"Rohan se baat kar sakta hun?"
A lady replied:"yahaan koi rohan nahi hai."
I knew he told me wrong name and he will call me soon to clearify.He called within a minute."she was my neighbour.She doesnt know my name.Rohan is my raashi name.My name in records is willy."he explained.I heard everything.Its small thing for me.I also told him wrong name,whats the big deal!
And one day my mobile disconnected.I dont wanted to Renew This mobile.I was waiting for this day.This is the end of This relationship.I put mobile in a place.I went to R web world tto know about this.When i returned home,around 8 pm,mobile rang.He called me.He asked me why phone disconnected?why it started again.i didnt want him to tell that it disconnected due to money so i told him that i went to web world today.perhaps they started it again.He told me to dial *367.I refused.I was in fear that this mobile would again become dead.He insisted.I dialed.I got to know that :your balance is rs 50.your card will expire on 29 of april 2005.
I asked him:"do you have done all this?"
He said:"yes. are you happy?
i said:"i dont know what i am feeling.call me later.main ye nahi chaahtaa tha."
he called me again.i told him"i was shocked about all this.Nobody do this in today world.I am happy."
He was very happy.He told me he brought a card and recharged my mobile.
Now i could feel how serious he was about me.But one day,all this will dissappear.He will also forget me.I dont want One to see that day.
