I was thinking to call him but it is raining since morning.I was chatting with him again in imagination.
"Do you know who loves you most outside your family?
you wont believe it but its true,I love you the most but you cant feel it,you cant accept it.and imagine,you lost that person yourself who loves you most!
wo badkismat hota hai jise pyar na mile.parr us se bhi badaa badkismat wo hota hai jo usse pahchaan na paye.
shaayad main bhi badkismat hun.
I always told you:dont expect anything from me.jub ummeed poori na ho to dukh hotaa hai.You always Took this lightly.And me,i forgot this myself.I started expecting love,respect,truth and honesty from you.jo cheez main de nahi saktaa ussay expect karney ka mujhe kya huk hai?
Tum kahte ho main tumhara point of view nahi sochna chaahta.Its not true.
I remember,when i asked,why you want me?you replied:becoz i think you understand me.
But after that incident,when i tried to lieve you ,i think you believe that i cant understand you.thats why you dont try to contact me.
I still understand you.I know how it feels when someone leave you,i know you have right to get angry becouse what i done was not acceptable or explainable.I cant do that with anyone,I am not that kind of person.I cant believe how i did this but i did,And you know,WHY.I need you,But if you dont need me,I could leave you becouse i dont want to be a burdon.You once said this also:kya humhen main bojh lagne lagaa hun?
Sometimes i think,thank god,i never told anything about me to him! Actually i am waiting for the right time.And the right time is one,when i would convince myself that this relationship is not temporary,that all this wont be over in few months.i am waiting for that time. want to tell you everything but i know that no relationship is true or permanent in this world.Main chaahtaa hoon ki time mujhe galat saabit kar de."
I was thinking this when his sms came at 4:09 pm.
it says"kaha pa ho tum phone nahi keya kal mana sms ess leya nahi keya because i am not well tum na phone nahi keya"
I thought he was in office as he told me.Today he sent sms by his bua's phone,that means he is in office.
anyways,i think i should tell him that i cant recharge my mobile right now.
I dont know what i want.I am mad.
