Heya peepz? Welcome 2 ma jokes page ha ha ha. Ope u wil enjoy

Son: im tryin to figure out the lowest comon denominator.
Father: havnt they found it yet? They were askin me the same qstn when i was young

Linda: dont u mind your boyfrend chasing after pretty girls?
Mary: nt really. Its a bit like dogs chasing after cars. They wouldnt know what to do if they caught up
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "take only ONE . God is watchin".
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had writen a note, "Take all you want. God is watchin the aples."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. "Now, class, if i stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would turn red in the face..."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while i am standin upright in the ordinary position the blood doesnt run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted," Cause your feet aint empty."

A kindergarten teacher was observing the children while they were drawing. As she got to one little girl who was workin diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied," i'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mamal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that jonah in the bible was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When i get to heaven i will ask jonah". The teacher asked , " What if jonah went to hell?" The little girl: replied, " Then you ask him".

I am a sinner...thats y i found myself in trouble wen i tugged my boys to an upperclass church in 1 of the city suburbs last yr. In a short while an usher brought the sacrament which i excusd with a polite shake of my head. But my son! I literary had to shove his hand frm the basket. 'Me i want a biscuit. Why r we not eating those biscuits?' the rascal enquired with a painful dig in my ribs. ' Its called sacrament, son, and you can't eat if you have sinned" i explained.
Trust an old fool to walk into a trap eyes wide: "What sins did you do dad?" he asked, all inocence. He may not kno it but i need three hours to answer that question-assuming my transgressions are confined to the week under review.

When several doctors were avin coffee after a long days work one of them poked in
" hey guys, i tink am goin 2 leave this country 4 gud." he said. When asked y he had this 2 say
" ok. Wen i came here homosexuality woz outlawed. Now after ten yrs it is being tolerated. I wana leave b4 its made compulsory"

Resolving 2 suprise her husband , an executive's wife stoped by his ofice. When she opend da door, she found him with his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitation, he dictated, "...and in conclusion,gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, i cannot continue 2 operate this ofice with jst 1 chair."

The new father ran out of the delivery room n announced 2 the rest of his family who were waiting 4 the news: "we had twins!" The family woz so xited they imediatley askd, " who do they luk lyk?" the father paused smiled n said, "Each other"

A kindergarten teacher askd, " wot is the shape of da earth?" One litle gal spoke up: "According 2 my daddy terible

A man aproaches a vry beautiful woman in a large supermarket n askd, "u kno, i av lost ma wife. Can u tlk 2 me 4 a couple of mins?"
"Why?"
"Bcoz every tym i tlk 2 a beautiful woman my wife apears out of nowhere

A neurosurgeon had done 12 unsuccesful operations. Al 12 patients had died. When the 13 patient came he wanted 2 kno wot were his chances of survival. There4 he askd the surgeon how the other fomer patients were fairing.
"I dnt kno" he replied " but no one is complaining

Ha ha ha...i bet you had your cure... You can contribute to this collection by sending me more jokes via msgs... Have a funny day ha!

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