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6.FEARS OF BEING ENTERED | gaysexguide


6.FEARS OF BEING ENTERED
ANAL INTERCOURSE: FEARS OF BEING ENTERED


I've already mentioned some of the pleasures possible thought
receiving the penis in intercourse. Now let's talk about how you do
it, and things you might be afraid of.

this matter is simply put: your rectum can receive a large penis
easily and fully, and this can be quite pleasurable, if you want
it. And you must want it, before it can happen. That is, you must
be at ease, in mind and body. The rectum is like a very elastic
pipe with a set of muscular rings at the end, the anus. The anus
acts as a plug, to stop things from going out, or let them in. It
tightens and relaxes like purse-strings on a bag, and is fairly
strong.

This muscle is controlled by the mind, and emotions influence how
tense it will be at any given time. Good fucking can't happen
unless the anus is relaxed, and this may take some learning.

Many of us are taught to be ashamed out our rear ends, of the
things that happen there, and the sensations of this area. the anus
can be an erotic place; most children experience pleasure in
shitting, but many adults ignore these feelings, in their rush to
get the act over with as little guilt as possible. The rear end
becomes an ignored and mysterious place. The anus is usually held
tight, and becomes the site of problems like hemorrhoids.

Yet the feelings are still there. Awareness and conscious control
of the anus can be learned, although this takes time to discover.

Look at it as exploring something new, part of your own body. The
first thing is, how you feel about your anus and rectum. Are they
a part of you, or do you emotionally push them away? If you feel
bad about your ass, that it's a dirty place, this is where you
explorations must begin.

Explore your anus, to discover how it feels and that it's not
dirty, that you can touch it and not get hurt. You can do this two
ways: by yourself and / or with a friend.

If you explore yourself you have control over you actions. Climb
into a tub of hot water (or a shower or on your bed) and relax.
Then with you fingertips explore your genitals and thighs, gliding
around to feel what it's like. Then bend your legs and slide your
fingers down between them. lower and deeper, past your testicles.
Touch your anus very lightly with one finger. Then with several.
Push down a little - how does it feel? If you like that, try
masturbating while pressing several fingers on your ass.

Now you've made contact. If it feels good there or if you sense
that it will, keep exploring. Don't push yourself to do more than
you want at any one time - pace yourself comfortable. But try to
tune in on your rear; discover when it's tight and when it's loose,
and how you can control this.

At some point you'll want to take the plunge, inserting a finger
inside. It's a remarkable discovery, that you can do this, and
opens up a world of new sensations. Be aware that the rectum is a
sturdy, flexible organ and can't be hurt by fingers, a penis or
other similar objects, unless you violently intend to do so: if you
don't make your finger force your ass, or your ass force your
finger, they will work well together. Sharp edges like fingernails
can scratch it, and that's not good, to trim your nail a little
first. But if it can take all your excrement it can take smaller
things like fingers and cocks.

Usually there's nothing inside the end-part of the rectum; but
sometimes there might be small particles. You'll discover that
these are harmless and easily washed off after. Or you can clean
out your rectum first, douching with an enema bottle and warm
water. Many men who enjoy ass fucking do this. Or you can use a
quick and easy method developed by Dr. Bill Horstman, a San
Francisco sexologist, which consists of douching with a large
basting syringe, which can be bought at most supermarkets. It's a
big plastic tube, pointed at one end (make sure to file down the
tip so it's not scratchy) and with a rubber glove on the other.
Filled with water, it holds just enough to clean the rectum
thoroughly and simply.

Now, I suggest you like back on your bed (or wherever), and bend
your legs to bring your feet up close to your rear. Get into an
enjoyable masturbation with one hand, and grease a finger of the
other with KY or another lubricant. Then place it at your anus, and
push very gently, slowly. Your finger will go in just a little. If
you want to get your finger in farther, you must keep pushing
gently and firmly, and release the anus muscle. Then you will feel
you finger go all the way through, past the thick muscle and into
the soft, quiet rectum.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, because you've taught yourself
to regard anything in the rectum as dark and dirty, and you'll want
to push it out. But take it easy; try letting your finger rest
there as you're masturbating. You may feel a little burning or
irritation, but this will turn to pleasure if your masturbation is
feeling good. If you like, climax with your finger inside, and see
how it feels. If all this seems good to you, keep up the
exploration. If it bothers you, withdraw and try again later; take
you time.

Once you get get used to you finger inside, you can discover new
things. Stick you finger all the way in. Then feel around inside,
gently, as you masturbate, until you touch on a silver-dollar
sized, round lump behind you testicles. this is your prostate
gland, and you'll know when you've touched it because it'll feel
hard and nice. If there's a sharp pain, however, withdraw your
finger and go see a doctor, because it means your prostate might be
infected.

But otherwise, try moving your finger up and sown against the
prostate as you masturbate. This will probably feel very good. Also
you'll notice that you can squeeze and unsqueeze you anus around
the finger.

Now you'll want to learn to loosen it enough to let in larger
sized. It may seem at first like you anus has a separate
personality, doing things in its own way. But this is only because
you've separated it in your mind. If you get to know it better,
it'll eventually make friends with you, and the separation will
disappear. After using your finger to meet it, get to know your
anus more intimately. You can trace warm wet rings around its
outside; after inserting a finger you can massage it, pressing
outward in a circle, tensing and calming it, trying to curl your
finger around its side, feeling its touch through the skin - while
exploring, if you act like you're shitting, pushing out, this will
help even more. Practice stretching and tensing/calming your anus
around your finger; you want to do this until it can be widened
easily and painlessly.

Next you can insert two (or more) fingers, seeing how far you can
bend them apart. Later, you might want to try a dildo (a straight,
smooth, round tipped object like those found in sex shops). It's a
good idea to use something that won't break, such as plastic or
rubber. Glass objects and sometimes shatter, and a candle could
snap in the middle. leaving half stuck inside. So be careful.
Otherwise feel free to indulge, since you can only hurt your rectum
with sharp objects or violent jabbing motions.

Or you might want to move right on to experimenting with a friend.
And this is also another way to learn about your ass. Say to him
"I'd sure like to enjoy anal pleasures, but I'm not used to it and
a little afraid," Then your friend can turn you on" (after douching
if necessary) he can place his fingers at your anus during sex. He
can, if he likes, suck and tongue your anus, or insert his
finger(s). These are called analingus and postillioning, and can be
soothing, warm, and exiting; they have their own secretions at the
end of this chapter. A nice thing is for your friend to masturbate
you as his finger is inserted in your rectum.

If neither of you can get this far, because you anus just won't
relax, it means you're anxious somewhere, or you simply don't know
how to relax it yet. This is not always the easiest thing to learn,
and there's no reason to feel bad about it, since the anus is very
likely to just follow old habits of not opening up. It takes time.
Take risks only when you really feel safe, and don't allow yourself
to be forced open. It helps to talk about this, and how you're
feeling.

One especially nice act that can relax your rear is for your
friend, during sex, to simply trace soft rings around the opening,
pressing with one or two lubricated fingertips, going around and
around. This usually has a calming, whole-some effect.

If, after much gentle trying over a period of time, your anus just
won't loosen, I would suggest you might have a mental wish not to
be entered that you aren't aware of. If this might be, explore the
possibility in your mind and with your friend; you may want to see
a counselor or sexologist, or you may decide that anal intercourse
just isn't for you.

If you do progress in your explorations, the time will come for
your friend to insert his penis. If this is what you both want, let
it happen as it will, without planning on doing it. Be easy about
it, trying one of the position I've described. It may take several
(or many) tries, so relax and feel the sensations. If it hurts, and
it might, just ask him to withdraw gently. Some pain may happen,
and this is usually OK. If it's a strong or sharp pain, back off,
but you'll discover that the mild pain turns to blissful delight
during sex. As he enters, you may experience a violent urge to go
to the bathroom, or you may imagine you're going to piss or shit
right there. This is a fantasy of your mind and body, through lack
of use and conditioning; if you respect these feelings and have
patience, they will change through practice. Also, if you're
sexually excited, these feelings and any tightness will lessen
considerably. The best rule is to take it in steps, going easy and
smooth. It may seem difficult for a while, but you may be surprised
by a rapid change from discomfort to sweet pleasure.

There is a special position for you if you want to take entire
control of the act. This way you can go fast or slow as you like.
It involves your friend lying on his back. Then you squat down over
his hips, facing him, and guide his penis to your ass. Then you
simply sit down on it, gently and as far as you want to go. You
make any motions with your hips, or you can just feel what it's
like.

There are two other ways you can take more control, which are
...


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