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Okay, so it is true. Women can be complicated creatures. But what human being isn’t? Although we each have our own needs, quirks and foibles, when it comes down to it, there are a few basic things that every woman wants. Now it’s up to the men to pay attention.

It’s amazing to me how many articles, television shows, movies, songs, and books exist about male and female relationships. And how sadly accurate many of them are. With all this material out there, why do so many problems still exist between men and women?

The Gender Gap

Men aren’t listening. And I don’t really blame them. I don’t even like Sex and the City so I can’t expect my boyfriend to faithfully watch every episode and quote it like some almighty dating bible. Although that show is full of things that men would (rightfully) cringe at, there are points to heed. Namely, cliches exist for a reason.

The things that seem painfully obvious to women are going unnoticed by men, likely because they haven’t spent hours happily identifying with women indulging in insecurities and sharing laughs about terrible dates. So women – give your man a break here and realize that although you feel inundated with ideas for dating, romance and sex, many men have put the blinders on because those things just don’t seem important to them. That is, until they are left out in the cold, heartbroken because the girl of their dreams gave them the boot for seemingly no reason.

Pay Attention Boys

Here’s the thing – women want a few basic things: trust, loyalty, friendship, laughs, respect. And a satisfying sex life. Nothing earth shattering.

Here’s where we get annoyed – when things about women that seem built into pop culture, escape your minds. I understand that you may not want to watch Oprah and see every “chick flick” out there but there are certain things that you really should know by now.

To clarify:

· We do not like to be called fat.
· We need foreplay.
· We like to be called if you are going to be late. These are three little things that can make a huge difference in a relationship. Maybe they don’t seem like a big deal to you men or maybe you don’t understand, but we don’t need you to. Just do them. Please.
Be a Gentleman

If you want to go above and beyond the basics, it’s also good to keep in mind that women like to be treated nicely. Again, I wouldn’t think you’d have to be told and I’m sure many of you don’t, but lately I’ve been hearing some pretty incredible stories from friends. In one story, a guy asked my friend out, took her to a bar, ordered her a drink and then summoned her to come pay for hers. Boy was she swept off her feet!

Don’t get me wrong, neither she, nor I, nor most women are looking for Mr. Fancy Pants to wine and dine us and spend all his money on us. Negative stereotypes of men and women don’t help us get any closer to understanding each other. It’s not the saved money and free drinks we appreciate, it’s the chivalry, the extra effort. That little gesture that says I care. It doesn’t have to be monetary, it can be holding a door, a compliment, even just turning off the cell phone while you are out together.

Mutual Appreciation

I’m sure no man goes out with the intention of annoying a girl or being insensitive. There are differences between how men and women relate, so it should be expected on both ends by now that things don’t always progress seamlessly.

The effort really does make a difference. We are all from different walks of life and have different expectations for each other and for life in general. Women want to be appreciated, as I’m sure men do. It may seem crazy to you if a girl flies off the handle because you were an hour late, but the thing is, women can be a little crazy. Evidently unbeknownst to some of you, women spend hours primping and preparing for dates, for our boyfriends, even for our husbands. Legs must be shaved, makeup applied, hair done so that we feel attractive and sexy for you!

If a woman does something nice for you and you notice, (please tell me you notice), tell her. If she cooks you dinner, try to return the favor. Be honest and supportive and she will do the same for you.

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